New Year New You!

So, in keeping with resolutions, I'm going to do a soul searching.  You are invited to come along with me and journey deep into my soul.  Okay, not deep, because we don't want to go that far in, for fear of getting lost.  But, let's go under the skin, anyway.

So, I hope I haven't written about this before.  I often feel like I write about the same thing over and over again.  Did I ever write about my cats?  The Fuzz and Stinksy?  No?  The Fuzz is our sweet little mildly mentally challenged cat, and Stinksy is our cardiomyopathic cat.  Let me take this time to write about them.  Oh, wait I have written about them once or twice?!

Back to the topic of the day.  Some or most of this may seem trite, but I'm not trying to break new ground here, just baring my soul.



Things I hate about myself:


I hate that I'm awkward in unfamiliar situations

I hate that I'm not assertive enough sometimes when I need to be

I hate that there are times when I should have helped someone in some way, and I didn't

I hate that I care so much about what people think of me

I hate that I can be very slow in completing tasks

I hate that I play favorites

I hate that I am quick to judge, and I hate when later on I am wrong

I hate being wrong

I hate admitting fault

I hate giving false compliments

I hate being polite to someone I dislike

I hate taking orders from someone I don't respect

I hate that I either don't care enough about the way I look, or that I care too much

I hate that the TV and the couch are some of my closest friends

I hate that I don't know how to hang out with most people without drinking

I hate that I feel like a loser

I hate that I can't write for a living, even though I'm not disciplined enough to write as much as I should and honestly pursue it.

I hate that I don't entertain the cats enough

I hate that I don't say I love you enough

I hate that I'm OCD

I hate that I'm ADD

I hate that I have trouble letting go

I hate that I can't snap my fingers and fix all the FP's problems

I hate that I can't snap my fingers and fix everyone's problems

I hate that I'm only starting to care about important things in life later in my life than I should

I hate that I don't pick up the phone more often and call people, or even email or text them

I hate that no matter what is going on in my life, I always have moments when I feel so lonely and empty

I hate that I have an awful memory

I hate that I have an awful memory

I hate that I'm not funnier

I hate that I'm not piss your pants hilarious

I hate that I care about money as much as I do

I hate that I never talk to my in laws

I hate that I always seem to have some weird kind of physical problems

I hate that I didn't keep up playing piano

I hate that I didn't keep up playing all instruments, and that I haven't really played music in several months

I hate that I've only written one unpublished novel and never bothered to try to write another

I hate that I don't visit with friends and family more often

I hate my annoying voice

I hate the way I leave rambling voicemails, rather than just getting to the point and hanging up



Holy shit!  I could go on and on all night, especially with the insomnia I've been having!  But I guess I need to stop somewhere!