Whine

All I want to do is whine.  And take sleeping pills.  I don't remember the last time I got 8 hours of sleep. I feel like it might have been when I was sick.  I've probably gotten 8 hours since then.  But definitely not since we got Rudy.

Oh Rudy!  What are we going to do with you?

No Blog Yesterday :(

I was tired.  I say that like every other blog.  But I was.  My sister came in town to go to a funeral, so we went out to eat last night.  Then I pretty much came home and went to bed.  Well, you know, after attending to the infant doggie.  Who I believe we had to put in the crate for a time out/ bedtime.  Which I hate doing.  But he was so crazy and we had to keep him in the bedroom because of the little nephews, so  he went in to bed on a bad note.

Boy, am I tired now!  If I could, I would love to just go to bed now and get 12 hours of uninterrupted sleep.  That would be sweet.

Not gonna happen.

Oh well.  I got this Red Stripe.  And I have to eat some dinner.  And hopefully I can go to bed somewhat early.  Tomorrow is Brunch.  The most hectic day of work.  Especially since I've moved to a different station....

So, that's it for tonight.  Signing out.

I know this isn't funny or entertaining, but not everyone can be always on.  Yeah, I know, it seems like I'm "off" more often than I'm on.  Maybe it's true.  Maybe that's why I'm not a professional blogger!

Loooooooooooong ass day!

Sorry, not much for blogging tonight!  I need sleep!  We took Rudy to get neutered at a vet that is an hour and a half drive away, so that's about 6 hours of driving, plus the other shit we did.  So... I'm off to hopefully sleep!

No post today!

So, I'm being lazy.... just read the pork porn pages post please!

http://thefoodho.blogspot.com/2012/04/one-year.html

Overkill

So, I wash my hands a lot.  Yeah, you might be one of those people who say, yeah, I do too!

Okay, so it's not always a full fledged hand washing, but I run my hands under water a lot all day long.  Most of those times, it does involve soap, just not every single time.

So, I wake up, and I usually pee.  So I wash my hands then.

Then I feed the cats.  I may wash my hands after that.

Then I let the little monster out of the crate and leash him and take him out to pee pee poo poo.

When we come back in, I wash my hands, because I've touched him and his dirty leash.

Then I make myself coffee and green drink if I have it, and cereal.  After that, I may or may not wash my hands.

Then I feed Rudy.  I wash my hands after.  I don't want to smell like dog food and have him bite me even more.

Then, he needs to have a toy to occupy him.  So I get a toy and try to get him interested in it.  I definitely wash my hands after touching his toys.  We try to wash the ones that are washable.

I have to put my contacts in after, so I wash my hands of course beforehand.  This is one of the times when I wash very carefully.

So, on and on.

When I get to work, one of the first things I do is wash my hands before I do any work.  Especially if the dog was in the car.

Then I'm prepping.  Some items require several handwashings between the steps.  Like say if I'm making meatballs, or biscuits or whatever.  Some things require gloves, some, you can't use gloves with.  But it's a lot of handwashing.

Then of course, service is a different matter.

I work pantry so, I make salads.  I don't use gloves.

That may gross you out.

But I warsh my hands A LOT.

So, the salads require several steps.  There's no toss it all in a bowl and then toss it on a plate kind of presentation here.  There are several items, and they all have to be placed just so.

So, I will plate one item that is messy.  Wash my hands.  Plate the next messy item.  Wash or rinse my hands.  Plate the next item.  Warsh my hands.  Plate the next item.  Rinse my hands. Toss the greens in dressing, plate it.  Wash my hands.  Unwrap another item, plate it on the plate.  Season.  Rinse my hands.  Plate another item.  Wash my hands.  Plate the last item, wash my hands.  Then wipe the plate.

So, say we have a busy lunch and I have to make 8 of these plates.  That's a lot of hand washing.

Then, I go home, and wash my hands some more.

I wish I had a handwash counter.  Those of you who think I exaggerate would be astounded.  Really.

Hope I Remember To Play The Powerball

What I would do if I won on Wednesday:

1. Quit my job.
2. Buy a second car.
3. Find a house/puppy/cat sitter.
4. Fly in my sister and her family from Colorado.
5. Buy my sister in Kissimmee a car or two and have her drive down.
6. Fly in the FP's mom from Punxsutawney.
7. Fly in the FP's sister and brother-in-law.
8. Have my father's caretaker bring him down.
9. Have a nice time with our family, give them some money, then send them home or wherever they want to go.
10. Go to Nola. Start the house/puppy/cat sitter.
11. Fly in our good friends to have a big party.
12. Get the FP his tattoo.
13. Go home, check on the family.
14. Fly to Europe or South America.
15. Go home.
16.  Start working on opening a business.

no bite

The dog bites.
The mosquito bites.
The dog bites harder.
The mosquito bites again.
The dog bites my hoodie.
The mosquito bites my neck.
The dog bites.
The dog bites.
Timeout.
The dog bites.
The mosquito bites.
The cat meows.
The dog bites with a snarl.
Timeout.
The dog bites.
Timeout.
The dog is quiet and walks with his head down.
The dog bites.
Timeout.
The dog lays on the floor tired.
Bedtime.

Oh doggie!

Dogs are like sharks, I think.  They put things in their mouth and chew them around to decide if they want to eat things.  Like rocks.  And leaves.  And dirt.  And sand.  And poo (which they usually eat).  And roof tar.  And bits of broken glass.

Oh, and my arms and legs and heels and pants and shirt.  Except, the way he holds on to my arm, it seems like he is interested in eating it, not just tasting it or chewing on it, or getting my attention.  He wants to tear off a piece of me and swallow it and eat more.

Yeah, I know.  We just don't know what we are doing, right?  And why did we get such a difficult dog?  We didn't know he was going to be difficult!  He was so sweet and docile and attentive and easily excitable.  Now, he just wants to sniff the ground and eat shit, or when we go out, he wants to interact with others.  It takes a lot of effort to get him to play with us.

But, he's our dog, so we gotta do what we gotta do to make him happy and us happy and definitely the cats need to be happy.  Especially the cats.  I feel bad for them.  They are so much lighter than Rudy that I can't tell if they've lost a lot of weight, but I feel like they have.  They used to eat all day long, now, not so much.

Well, I just gotta suck it up and deal with it.  I was the one that wanted a puppy, right?

Pool Chat

So, I never thought I would have a blog in which I would tell you about stuff I do around the house.

But yes, this is what it's come down to.

So, I went to the pool store.  I've been to several in the area.  But it seems that Pinch A Penny is the best of the ones I've visited.  Leslie's is closer though, so for most things I can probably go there.

I received a flyer about a sale that started today at Pinch A Penny.  It included huge savings on automatic pool cleaners.

What, you say, pool cleaners?  Don't you already have Robby the Robot?

Well, yes, we have Robby and we love him. (Robby is our solar powered pool skimmer.  It's like a flat paddle boat.  The paddle wheels suck the water into the device, and then the dirt and sticks and leaves and stuff get trapped in the filter.  So, it saves the pool pump filtration system some wear and tear.)  But he just does the top.  I have to manually do the bottom.  Which means that I just stir up all the sediment and the pool is cloudy for 8 hours after, and then the sediment just settles back on the floor.

So, what I would love is a robotic cleaner that operates on batteries and has it's own debris filter.  But, they pretty much start at $500.

But then, I received the Pinch a Penny Flyer.  So, I went in today to see if someone could help me decide whether to spend the mula on yet another pool "toy."  This youngish guy helped me.  What it boiled down to, was that the ones they had were mostly the same price range.  Of course, the cheaper one had already sold out.  So, my choice lay in whether I wanted a simple cleaner with just the rubber scrubbing mat and the diaphragm, or the more vaccuum like one with the scrubbing bristles and more parts.  He talked me into the vaccuum like one, because he said it was more durable.  Besides, the parts for the scrubbing mat and the diaphragm was like $40 for each part - to be replaced maybe every 8 months.  The vacuum one - the Great White shouldn't need parts quite as often - supposedly.

Anyway, I got a $75 gift card, and I also got a $100 mail in rebate - so it was $175 off the regular price.  While I was waiting in line again, to buy chlorine tablets and a leaf canister with the gift card, this other guy saw that I was buying the Great White, and he said it was a good one.  He had his for 6 years and it had just broke and he had it fixed.  If he had known they were on sale though, he would have just bought a new one.  So, he was a little irritated with that.

Anyway, that's that.  Hopefully I'm all set with the pool cleaning devices.  And it's a teeny pool.  Imagine if I had a larger pool.  How many gadgets would I have then!

So, I'll let you know how it works out.  I know you are on pins and needles!

Kitty Swipes

If you need to clean up a puppy's act, try kitty swipes.  Just one effective, hopefully not wound inflicting swipe will shut the puppy up - although it will confuse him as to what his place in the household is....

Sometimes, I think Stinksy thinks he's the godfather of the house.  When Rudy came back from the vet and didn't feel good, Stinksy was hanging out on the table above him looking down with... concern.  I swear.  And then another time, Rudy was attacking me very aggressively, and Stinksy came up and was staring, like he was thinking of jumping in and defending me.  Luckily he didn't.

Lately, Stinky has taken to laying on Rudy's pillow, and laying on the mat in front of the door.  When I go to take Rudy out to pee pee poo poo, I have to get Stinksy to move out of the way.  This last time tonight, when we were coming back in, Stinksy was on the mat again.  I kind of tried to get him to move, but he was totally focused on the dog.  I had the leash on still, and I thought that they were far away enough.  But, Stinksy stood his ground and didn't move.  When Rudy passed by him, Stinksy hissed and then swiped at him.  I don't know if he made contact or not, but Rudy was truly shocked and scared.  He ran around the house confused.  Finally, he settled down under the dining room table.  Stinksy was on the table, interestingly enough.  As if Rudy had accepted the hierachy.

Now if he would just stop viciously biting us.

Big Lizard In My Front Yard, Can't Afford To Feed Him Anymore

Today, I was off.  So, I got to take Rudy out back in the morning after the birds were awake.  This time, I took the camera out with me.  But, I thought I had pushed the record button, but I was wrong.  So, I missed filming 2 birds swoop down on him.  This time he noticed.  He was confused for sure.  So, I would be a bad parent if I didn't try to get him to go inside, right?  Well, I did expect the swooping and did take the camera out, so that's not too scrupulous, is it?

Anyway, we took him to the park in Coconut Grove.  On the way back to the car, he found something that he started to gnaw on, and we had to pull him away. When I looked to see what it was, I think I let out a little scream of surprise.  It looked like a fish carcass, and then it looked like a little a dinosaur, then a little baby crocodile, but then we settled on the fact that it was a big ass lizard corpse.  Like big.  Like probably 12 inches from head to tale or longer.

I took him out front later, and the birds were all in a dither up in the tree and on the power lines and shit.  It was like listening to The View!  Anyway, I herded him back in before they all amassed into action and actually did anything.  But, on our way in, I noticed something bright green and large in the tree.  So, I put Rudy in and brought my camera back out.  This is what I found in our tree right outside our bedroom window.

So, it's not the greatest picture because my camera is getting worse and worse, but the body is at least 6 inches I would guess?

Anyway, it was big.  Maybe this is the season for these things?  Or maybe this lizard smelled it's relative on Rudy's breath and it was stalking him?  Just like the way the boat-tailed grackles (at least that's what I think they are - I'm not an ornithologist) knew that Rudy was eating their fallen brother and they were attacking him.  Or maybe, the lizard was the one that killed the boat-tailed grackle in the first place, and Rudy was the scape goat?  Who knows.

Boat-tailed grackles and long green lizards oh my!

harrisment

So, we have a big oak tree in the front yard.  It pretty much takes up the whole tiny yard, and it is disproportionate to the house.  In this oak tree there are lots of birds living there.  They look like boat-tailed grackles.  You know what those are, right?

Well I didn't know what a boat-tailed grackle was until I googled it.

Anyway, for some reason, a couple of birds have fallen to their deaths on our lawn.  And of course, Rudy has smelled them out.  And I've been trying to keep him away from the one carcass that was dried out to just crispy bones.  Of course, I kept forgetting to get rid of the corpse.

Except for the other night when it was late and dark.  He always is eating some kind of shit, so I didn't realize what he had until he went crazy and dragged it around.  I finally got rid of the body, but he would keep sniffing looking for it.

And then the attacks started.

The first that I saw was yesterday.  We were out front, and Rudy was supposed to be going poo poo pee pee, but he was sniffing the ground as usual.  The birds were squawking like they always do.  It got really loud, and then a black and blue and purple shiny bird swooped down right over Rudy and then back up.  And Rudy didn't even notice.

And then the bird did it again this afternoon in the backyard.  I told the FP about it, and then he told me that he saw the bird swoop down on Rudy once in the front yard and once in the backyard.

So, the thing is after the dog!  I think it's because the birds saw him chewing on their dead family member and they are pissed.

It's kind of funny, but I hope the bird doesn't have some kind of disease and pecks at Rudy and gives him something.  That would be terrible.  I don't know how I'm going to get this on video though.  I would have to just walk out and record the whole time we're out there, hoping to catch this boat-tailed grackle in action, I guess.  I just hope a bunch of other birds don't decide to join in.

No More Waving Statues of Liberty?

I so love the friendly torch wavers that stand in front of Liberty Tax Offices leading up to tax day!  So, today is April 15th, but tax day is actually April 17th.  So, in two days, all the statue of liberty greeters will be out of a job.

Well, hopefully they will be able to advertise car dealerships or real estate companies.  Or I guess they could solicit donations for the homeless at stop lights.  Or sell oranges, bananas and avocados at stop lights.  Jobs are tight though, so maybe the competition is stiff.

I realize that competition is stiff in pretty much every field nowadays.  There are tons of qualified and overqualified unemployed people out there.  So that's why it sucked when I had to go into work Saturday morning and listen to some arrogant Northern Irish bastard bitch about working so early, bitch about the recipes, bitch about only having worked there for 10 days and not knowing everything.  I mean he pretty much ruined (RUE - in- ed {the way Stewie says it on Family Guy}) my morning.  And everyone was pretty nasty that day.  It was like they were all on their male periods.

Yes, male periods.  I don't know if they exist.  Ok, I googled it and the leading authority on the internets, Wikipedia, said that there is such thing as Irritable Male Syndrome, and monthly hormonal cycles.  I just wonder if men that spend much time together sync with their male periods the way women can?

Anyway, men can be bitches.  I don't like it.  When I'm fucking going in to work at 8 am, I just want some peaceful ease into the workday time.  Which basically means no fucking bitching.

If you don't want to work the shift, then move over and let someone else take it!  I'm sure the FP would take it!  And he would be way better than you!

Whelp!

I'm too busy being bitten to blog again tonite!  Plus I have to wake up extra early to go to work at 7 am tomorrow for our first day of brunch.  Yay (insert sarcastic tone)!

Friday The 13th

It feels like Friday the 13th.  Weirdness.  Stress.  Exhaustion.  I have to eat and shower.  Can't think to write anything funny.

Maybe tomorrow?  I sure hope so!

I Had Something Good To Write About, But I Forgot

It must not have been that good.  I don't really want to write about the dog.  I don't want to write about the house.  I don't want to write about work.  So, what was it?

We got chinese take out last night.  So, I randomly broke open a fortune cookie today.  The fortune cookie said "You are due for a short vacation."

It's true!

I've only been working like a month, and we've only had the puppy two and a half weeks.  I'm ready for a little break - it's true.  I think going from not working to working 5 days in a week and not having 2 consecutive days off in a row is a lot for me.

But, you know, it takes longer to slowly ease into the pool than it takes to just dive in!

Speaking of, well the pool isn't deep enough to dive in, but I sure enjoy swimming around in it with Robby the Robot (the automatic pool skimmer) and Sal the Salamander (the inflatable pool lounger).  It's like the two inanimate objects have personalities.  They play tag and they push each other around the pool.  It's cute.  Really, it is.  Yes, I am weird.

Anyway, I've talked about the dog, the house, and work.  Those are the things that consume my life currently.  It won't always be like that, will it?  I've always tried to not be one of those annoying parents that talks about her kids (cats, fish for a short time, and now dog).  It's like, most people, if they don't have a cat, dog or kid, they don't want to hear someone else go on and on about their cat, dog or kid.

So, the FP is getting some dental work done tomorrow, and I am working a few busy, probably stressful days in a row.  So, yeah.... It's taken me about an hour to write this blog because of all the "distractions".  So, I'm going to finish my one beer and eat my indulgent dinner - sushi!

All Hope Is Lost

Ok, not really.  But those times when Rudy is on a full tear and attacking me relentlessly, I do feel hopeless.  It's like what I always picked a rabid dog to be like.

And as cute as he is, when he's got all those teeth out, it is anything but cute.  It's scary as fuck.

But, he's my scary as fuck puppy and I love him, so all I can do is figure out what works with him and what doesn't without being abusive and hopefully without using negative reinforcement.

All I know, is that I'm worn out, and so is he.  But he ate dinner a while ago, so he will have to go out to go poo poo pee pee soon... so it's just a waiting game now.

Full Moon Decline

So, weird stuff happened today.

We took Rudy to the vet in the neighborhood.  We hoped this would be our family vet since it's down the street.  When we walked into the office, the FP commented on how the place looked like it was in the 80s.  Which, yeah, it did.  There were shelves with lots of file folders there.  And other stuff...

When the veterinary assistant did the initial exam, she was a little judgy, as people who work at veterinary offices can be.  And she didn't use gloves.

Then the doctor came in.  He was nice enough.  But he didn't use gloves.  Rudy got a little bitey when they started giving him vaccinations in his ass.  So, the doctor tried to show us how to calm him down - which it took a while for him to calm down.

And then he found an abscess right on Rudy's pee pee.  I saw it the night before, and I thought it was maybe one of his balls dropping.  So, I googled it.  There were other cases in which puppy owners discovered the bulbus glandis - which helps the dog stay in the bitch long enough to impregnate her.  I thought, it looks like a big swollen bug bite, but maybe that's what it is.

It wasn't.  It was an abscess.  The vet thought it was weird that a young puppy would have this.  He squeezed it.  And bloody pus squirted out.

He squeezed it with his bare hands!  Gross!

So, he gave us antibiotics to give to Rudy starting tomorrow.  But he didn't seem too worried.  He just said to contact him if it doesn't clear up after a while.

So, anyway, we took Rudy home.  And he was sleepy.  So we put him in his crate and went to lunch.  When we came back and fed him lunch, he was fine.  But then, all of a sudden, he was lethargic.  I put his leash on to take him to go potty, but he didn't want to go.  He just laid there.  So, I picked him up.  When we got by the pool, he started whining.  So, he struggled and kind of jumped from my arms and he limped over to the shady patch and just plunked down and whined some more.

We got him to get up and show us his limp.  Sure enough, it was there.  So I wondered if he had landed weird on his foot.  I was concerned.  The FP was concerned.  I wondered if we would have to take him back to the vet.

So, the FP did the only rational thing to do.
He googled it.  And, sometimes puppies react badly to vaccinations.  The site gets sore and they limp.  So, that's what we were hoping it would be.  So, he slept for a long time.  When he woke up, he limped a little, and after a while he stopped limping.

But he definitely was low energy all day.

Shots suck.

It's a Walk In The Park

So, our precious little angel puppy was being a little frisky.  He was biting and nipping and following and barking at the cat.  So, we thought it would be good to take him to the park.

He was restless when we were trying to get him in the car, which is nothing new.

But when we got to the park, that was a different story.  So, he always gets stuck at the first patch of dirt or grass next to the parking lot.  I'm sure there are a lot of smells, right.  And it's always a few inches thick with leaves, so it's hard for him to walk on.  But today, he was like a blood hound on a scent.  He had his nose to the ground intently following a trail.  And he picked up a twig and was gnawing hungrily on it.  Gnawing crazily.  Like it was a bone.  Because it was a bone.

When we realized it, we tried to get it away from him.  And that's when he growled.  And then he some more, and then he snapped.  This was the FP's first experience with this, and he didn't like it.  Eventually, he somehow dropped the bone when he was growling or something, and we dragged him away from it.  But then he kept finding more bones.

I think eating of pork ribs and chicken on the bone should be banned from state parks.  There were bones everywhere.  So, we were trying to drag him away from a bone, he was growling and snapping, and we were running across the paved walkway to get to the lake.

And then I slid in wet, smooth, light brown shit.  In my flip flop.  I scraped as much as I could on the walkway (sorry pedestrians!)  and I ran down to the lake and stuck my foot in with my flip flop on.  It was terrible.

What a horrible walk in the park.

But we had to turn it around.  We walked around the lake (and woke up in the rain) and then we tried to get him to get back on the walkway.  A woman with a little dog was approaching.  Rudy was excited and bounded ahead to meet the dog.  When Rudy got close, the other dog turned and trotted off to get away from him.  The dog could sense his crazy energy and wanted nothing to do with him.

Up until that moment, every dog that he encountered wanted to play with him!  This was an outing with lots of firsts.

Finally we got him on the walkway running.  And we ran him.  And ran him.  We might have ran him more than you should run a puppy.  But we needed to shed his bad energy.  And it seemed to be working.  He focused on running with us.  But, then, we got back to the leaf pile by the car, and he was sniffing.  And sniffing.  But, we got him back in the car and headed home.

He wasn't much settled down.  But what would he have been like if we had not taken him to the park?  Maybe better?  Maybe worse?  Who knows.

Anyway, now he's safe and sound in his crate.  Not before a big crazy chase.  I know that being freaked out by my  puppy feeds his crazy energy, but when he's chasing me and biting with those sharp little teeth, I can't help it!

But, he's asleep for now.

I realize there's a lot going on with him:
We had house guests for the first time this weekend.
We didn't keep to his schedule.
I bought him a rawhide that he goes crazy for and is very possessive of, and he probably has too much access to use whenever he wants.
We bought a new bag of puppy food, and I got a different kind.

Tomorrow I will try better show him that he's crossing the boundary when he bites and barks.  Let's see how much watching the Dog Whisperer and googling stuff will help me!

Regression

I know that you need to have structure and routine when training a new puppy.
I know that you need to monitor him and not let him have too much free reign.
I know that no matter how good and intelligent a puppy is, he's still a puppy.

We took several steps back today.
He stayed up late last night.
He slept the whole night through and got up late.
We took him to the beach before breakfast.
We gave him breakfast when we got home and it wasn't enough food.
He slept for several hours this morning in the house while we were out back.
We let him go in and out of the house all day.

As soon as my sister left, he pissed in the house 3 times, and he shat in the lanai.

He was unruly and cranky.
When I fed him dinner, he ate it fast like always, and then he was kind of crying for some more.

Back to the basics.
And also puppy school!

Time's Out!

So, the first week of March, I started my job.  A week later, I filed my last unemployment form.  So, it wasn't very much since it was only for one week.  I had to fill out the paper form though, since I had worked part of the pay period.

Today, I stopped on the way home from work to fill up the car with gas.  I used my unemployment debit card.  The sweet thing about that, is that it just stops when there's no more money on the card.  I think it stopped at $31.56.

And that was the end of my freeloading.

Okay, it's not freeloading.  I don't feel bad about taking a measley amount of money while I was not working.  I did work prior to that.  And I am working full time now.  In fact, I have been warned by my superior to not make so much overtime.  I'm not afraid of work, and I had not been avoiding it.  I had been trying to figure out my life and my next step.

For now, the next step is to work as much as I can.

And enjoy life and my family and friends as much as possible. (Yes I realize that we don't really have friends here, but we do have friends.

Anyway, that's that.  I'm in the work force.  And if this job doesn't pan out in the next 17 months or so, I can't file a new unemployment request.  So, hopefully it all works out.

Unnecessary

A few things that are unnecessary:

1. boob jobs
2. steroids
3. microderm abrasion (I don't really know what that is)
4. botox
5. viagra for old people (yes, I said it)
6. dressing on the side (because you know that's more dressing than if it were tossed in the salad)
7. pepsi one
8. sugar free caramel sauce (?)
9. different types of gatorade
10. insomnia
11. abc family channel
12. the TV guide channel
13. malware
14. contact requests from strangers on yahoo
15. bullies
16. pet lemurs
17. mean people
18. bad feelings
19. hurting innocent beings
20. non HD TV programming

Goodnight!
XOXO

Domestic Bliss

Ah... the approach of summer.  The hot days, the cool nights, the mosquitos, the kitties lick bathing, the puppy snoozing, and the pool as clean as I've ever seen it!  So, yeah, the pool is still kind of cool, and we could put the solar cover on it - if the solar cover were clean and we planned ahead.  But, after work, it's warm enough that I can bare to go in and frolic around for a bit.  And it's so refreshing.

But, there's always the question of dinner.  What do we want for dinner?  We don't really have any food in the house.  It's kind of late, so I don't really feel like cooking... what to eat?  Probably something kind of unhealthy.  But, I still gotta finish the laundry, and it's getting close to bedtime (it's 7:59), and I still have other stuff to do!  Where does the time go?  Well, half an hour in the pool cleaning it and swimming in it, and a hour at the beach (shhh... we aren't supposed to take Rudy there!) already slashes into my after work time.  So, could I budget my time more?  Sure.  Do I?  No!  I mean, I was off work for 10 months, and I sure stopped learning how to budget my time efficiently.

So, anyway, let's end this once again with pictures...

 Rudy's tired after the beach!

 Stinksy, being a  Nawlins boy, loves his hot sauce!

 The Fuzz in the purple room.

Stinksy on the big shed thing in the lanai and The Fuzz in the purple room looking out.

Ridiculous, I know

So, today was the first day I officially went all the way into the pool.  I mean, I had gone in to my thighs, and dangled my legs in the water before.  But I had not gone in and gone all the way to the "deep" end - which is about 4 1/2 feet.

Oh, I could regale you with the whole long sordid tale of the pool.  But, it's really just pathetic and shows me in a dumb and lazy light.  Basically, if I had either gotten a professional to come and check out the pool when we first moved in, or I had bought a new filter cartridge and a nice automatic pool cleaner, the pool would have been nicely maintained all these months.

But I didn't.  I searched on the internets.  I tried different things.  Other than the most obvious.  Changing the filter cartridge.

So, I hadn't gone swimming in the pool. Until today.  It was a hot one.  But, by the time I went out back to check the chlorine levels, the sun had gone down enough that the palm trees cast a shadow on most of the pool.

And the water was a bit cool.  Even though it was hot today!  I'm guessing the new filter cartridge I put in yesterday had something to do with that, because the water is circulating about twice as fast as it was with the dirty old cartridge.

So, it was great to go in and cool off.  Although, I need to vacuum out the bottom a little more - hopefully tomorrow.  But it would be nice to just come home from work and jump in every day!

Well, I don't want to disappoint you puppy lovers, so here's some photos of the puppy! The puppy with the dirty mouth.  They should make Orbits Gum for puppies.  At any rate we should probably start cleaning his dirty mouth!

Ewwwwwww

So, are you tired of me blogging about the puppy?  If so, then you might not want to bother reading this!

Seriously.  Stop reading if you don't want to hear about him.

So, he's already become a little troublemaker and a terror.  He bites.  And he puts everything in his mouth.  He reminds me of a shark.  Mouth everything to decide whether to eat it or just play with it.  I mean everything.  If I didn't have anything to do, I would start listing everything that he's put in his mouth.  Well, I can list the things I remember.

paper
more paper
cardboard
cigarette wrapper cellophane
toilet paper
twigs
mulch
grass
weeds (dude, he likes weed)
socks
sweaty shirts
a random dirty wife beater he found at the park
plastic bag scraps
cat food

Oh, and a tampon applicator.

No, not mine.  That would be gross.   But a stranger's tampon applicator, that's fucking disgusting.

 We decided to walk him up and down our street.  So, our only neighbors who have been friendly were outside.  They have two little girls.  So he stopped to look at them.  We tried to get him to walk, but he wanted affection.  But, they didn't come up to meet him.  So we tried to get him to move.

And that's when he saw it.  A pink tampon applicator with the plunger pushed in.  Yuck.  And he picked it up.  He put it in his mouth sideways.  And we I tried to take it out of his mouth.  And then he turned it sideways, so that it was all the way in his mouth.  The neighbors said, "Oh, he found a toy!"

So, in front of them, we had to force open his jaws and pull the used pink tampon applicator out of his mouth.

Fucking disgusting.

Really?  I don't think I can ever let this dog lick me again.

Too Tired

I'm lame.... I'm going to skip out again on the blog... I'm just going to show you a couple videos instead... again.

What I've Learned About Having A Puppy

1. It's a lot like having a baby (so I've heard).
2. You have to balance the time between doing things "for" the puppy - like work, and cleaning up after him, and spending quality time with him.
3. Puppies are even dirtier than I thought they were!
4. Puppies can have that new puppy smell and dirty puppy smell at the same time.
5. Puppies hurt when they bite.
6. Puppies can play as hard as big dogs right before bedtime.
7. Puppies don't give a shit about stepping on shit.
8. Puppies act like sweet little angels in public and love everyone they encounter.
9. You really have to keep your eye on the little fuckers.
10.  I wonder what my puppy is doing now - I have to go check.  He was laying in the dirt hole that he dug in the backyard.
11.  Puppies can eat balloons. (This happened before we got him, but the evidence was in his first poo on our front lawn.
12.  It's gross to have to pick up a puppy's warm coil of shit right after he goes.  It's way easier to let it dry up for a couple of days and then go around and hope you've picked it all up.
13. Puppies are like celebrities.  When people see them, they think they have license to pet them, play with them, pick them up and do whatever they want to without asking permission from the entourage.
14. Puppies are louder and more work than kittens.
15. Puppies get attached to people way faster than kittens do.
16. I love my puppy, but for my next dog, unless it's a pomeranian for the FP, I probably will adopt a shiba inu, that won't be as young as this little guy.
17. Strangers will go out of their way to talk to a stranger with a puppy, but they won't give a nonpuppy bearing stranger a second look.
18. Everything is interesting to a puppy except for what you want him to focus on.