something to ponder

When life fucks you in the ass, do you fight it, or do you just take it, relax and try to learn to enjoy it?

Tree Stand Follies

So, as is customary for me, I have such big plans for the holidays, but then other elements of life get in the way.

And here I was three days before Christmas, trying to get in the holiday spirit, finally.

Actually, it started with last night, when I was frantically combing the entire tiny house.  I was looking for the Christmas tree stand.  I was thinking of going to get a tree last night, but I never found the stand.  We had packed that stand in San Diego and brought it here to Florida.  I remember the debate about it.  How we might want a tree a month later, since we moved in November.  And, it didn't take up all that much room in the cube.

So, there I was, searching all over.  I couldn't find the damn thing.  And they aren't that cheap either.  Which is why I wanted to keep it.  Is it possible that we brought it all the way here to our crappy apartment, and then when we moved into the house, we decided not to keep it?  That just doesn't sound like me....

So, I woke up early this morning and went straight to Home Depot across Sheridan to beat the traffic and get a tree.  When I got there, Home Depot was open.  But the tree lot was all chained up.  There were a bunch of dried out brown looking trees all thrown in the back of the lot.  I guess I could have asked if they were bringing more trees in, but it looked doubtful.

So, I went to Kmart across the street to look for a tree stand.  They only had fake trees, so, they didn't have live tree stands.  Then I went back across the street to Big Lots.  Lots of Christmas crap that they were consolidating, but no tree stand.  Then I went back across the street to go to Office Max and get planners for 2013, since the whole Mayan apocalypse thing didn't pan out.  But Office Max was closed, because I forgot it was still early.

So, I figured I would just drive down Stirling and maybe find a Christmas Tree tent.  I didn't.  So I had to drive all the way over to the other Home Depot.  They had a ton of trees, so I bought this little 6 footer.  But they were all out of stands.  Really?  Really!  The guy told me there was a shortage and it was easier to find a tree than a stand.  Why though, why?

Oh, and I wasn't thinking, so I don't know if I was allowed to tip him, but I didn't.  I hope I wasn't supposed to, because, then I feel like an asshole.  Even though if I thought about it, I would have tried anyway.  But I didn't, and I suck.

So, I went across the street to Target, even though I knew they wouldn't have a stand.  And they didn't.

So, I drove all the way south to Walmart.  No live trees.  Lots of fake trees.  There was this amazing little purple lighted tree.  If I knew what the price was, and it was cheap, and there were boxes of them readily available, I would have bought one.  I still might go after Christmas to see if I can get one!

But anyway, they didn't have a live tree stand.

I was contemplating how I could turn our empty planter into a tree stand.  I thought it might involve putting holes in it and finding big screws to hold the tree in place.  That sounded like too much work.  But I thought I might have to.

So, I was driving home on 441, when I saw a Christmas tree tent.  With a bunch of stands!  So, I pulled over.  I asked this slow old man how much they were.  The big one was like $30, the medium was $25, and the small was $20.  I asked for the small one.  Apparently, the only small one left was holding a small tree up and he proceeded to take the tree out.  When I saw that, I told him I would take the medium one.  I think that was just a scam, but it worked.  He told me the medium one was sturdier and would last longer anyway, maybe 5 or 6 years.  But I couldn't even keep one for one year!

So, I got my damn stand.  So, I raced home and put the tree in the stand and filled it with water.  And Rudy drank from the water, of course.  But now, ten hours later, the tree still isn't fluffed out.  The branches are still at a 45 degree angle.

But anyway, the FP put what lights we had in the house on the teeny tree.  And it looks so cute.  I won't post a picture though, until we finish putting the ornaments on it.  So hopefully tomorrow.

Here's to a happy ending.... LOL!!!

Making Amends

If one makes amends, is that the same as apologizing?  Hm... am I apologizing for not haven written in a few days, or am I just making amends?  Or maybe neither.  I'm tired.  I have to go to bed.  The reasons why will be revealed shortly, if you don't already know.  I just have one nugget of wisdom for you tonight:


Next time you go swimming in a pool, think about this:  there is P and Poo in every single Pool

Thank you and good nite!

The Big Dipper

I hate roller coaster rides with the big vertical dips.  They make me want to hurl.  But, that's how life is sometimes.  That makes me want to hurl also.  I like life to be predictable, but unpredictable every once in a while in my favor.  I like to have a set schedule, but then have a few days off every few months or so.  I guess that's what people who have 9-5 jobs get.  I don't understand all that down time though.  What I think of office jobs, are that they often are slow enough that people have time for restroom breaks whenever, coffee breaks, water breaks, cigarette breaks, and lunch hour.  It's mind boggling.  I know, there are rules that say people have to take breaks, yeah, whatever.  I would prefer to just work as fast as possible and work straight through and leave early.

I'm not one for closing.  I like to open and then have others clean up the mess.

Anyway, what I think I've been trying to say, the past few weeks have been a stomach churner of a roller coaster.  Things happening every day unannounced.  Not necessarily a bad thing.  But sometimes it seems like it wouldn't be too far fetched if the 21st is the end of the world.  If that's the case, then I shouldn't bother to pay any bills before then, right?  I should just spend it all on frivolity instead.

But, the way things turn out for me, what would happen would be, that I would win the lottery on the 20th, and then before I would even get my grubby paws on the winnings, the world would end.

pouf!

Pro- Probiotic

So, I make lots of dumb decisions, or non-decisions, rather.  There is always so much going on in my head that I have to wade through, that I often get bogged down in my brain and end up being non productive.  

So, what the fuck am I babbling about anyway?

If you couldn't get it from the title, I'm talking about probiotics.  I ran out of them a month or two ago, and I kept being too lazy to get them.  So, I had the same old affliction again last week.  I went on two walks with Rudy, and took him to the dog park where I have to walk around to keep him moving, so it was really like three walks.  So, it was like I might have walked over three miles.  Which might not sound a lot, but the morning walk included some jogging.  So, that's a lot of energy expenditure for me.  I have no stamina, and I've had that chest thing for a while too.

So, I started to get that run down feeling.  I definitely felt tired every day at work, and I would get those dizzy spells that I used to get.  So, I finally got the vitamins and probiotics that I needed and I started taking them again.  Before the probiotics, I was always feeling shitty and on the verge of getting sick, especially when I would push myself with exercise.

Today, though, I woke up feeling like total shit.  My head felt heavy.

Ok, I'll confess, I did take just a tiny bit of a generic tylenol pm.  Just a bit, and I took it early.  But still, I thought, maybe that was why I felt like shit.  But after the coffee, and the poo, and the drive to work and getting set up for brunch, I still felt horrible.  So, I drank lots of water.  And I drank a glass of OJ.  But still, I felt dizzy.  And I was freezing every time I went into the walk in.  So, it was hot in the kitchen today, but I sweat my ass off, and I may have had a fever.  It's hard to tell though.

So, anyway, here I am, back on the probiotics.  I hope they help in the long term, because I know in the short term they won't be a solution.

Whelp, back on the nyquil too.  I need something to help me sleep, which will help me relax, which will help me recover.  I don't feel like I have enough time to really relax.  Because there's always my mind mucking about, even when my body is at rest.

Long Night

last night.  First of all, I went to bed late because I was texting and on the internet and blogging late.  Ok, not too big of a deal... wait for it....

So, then, I went into bed.  And The Fuzz jumped up on the side of the bed like she does.  So, I pet her. And I was ready to fall asleep, but then she turned around in bed, and I smell the stench of cat shit.  I kind of reached for her fluff butt, and I grabbed a poo coin.

Yes, a poo coin.  It's too big to be a dingleberry.  It was like a round turd, that she probably smushed into a coin shape.

And I touched it.

So, I had to pick her up and bring her into the other room to turn on the light to see her poo coin and remove it.  She started freaking out.  So, I had to move her into the bathroom so I could contain her better.  She started freaking out.  She was meowing her head off and trying to get out of the door.  So, of course, Stinky came over to try to look inside.  Anyway, I finally pulled the poo coin off her fluff butt, and then I had to wipe her butt with a moist toilet paper.  It was tan.  So, I wipe some more, and more and more.  I swear, I must have used a third a roll of toilet paper.  I had to add a little soap to the toilet paper.  Finally, the toilet paper came away from her fluff butt white.  So, I tried to dry it off a little more, then I released her. I warshed my hands very well, and then went back to bed.

So, about 2 hours later, I wake with a start to Rudy whinging.  He doesn't really whine much in the middle of the night.  If he does, it's because he needs something.  I let him go on for a bit to see if he would just stop on his own.

He didn't.  So, finally, I put my glasses back on and let him out.  I asked him if he needed a drinkie or go potty.  He wandered around the dark living room until he wandered to the rug.  On the rug was a log that looked like poo, but I was pretty sure it was cat throw up.  He preceeded to eat the throw up, and before I could stop him, it had all disappeared down his black hole of a digestive system.  Then he was ready to go back to bed.  So, he awoke at the sound of a cat throwing up, and he could not go back to sleep until he ate it.

Gross.

So, finally, I went back to bed.  And then, a few hours later, I awoke to a loud clatter.  And then another.  Then I knew - it was Stinksy knocking the vitamin bottles off the kitchen table.  Well, I knew there could only be one or two more bottles, so hopefully he would just knock them off and be done with it.  Luckily, he stopped at two.

So, I went back to sleep.

And of course, I woke up at 5:30 like I have been.  And I really didn't sleep for the next hour, but I stayed in bed anyway.

So, of course, I was a little tired at work.  But it was slow.  So, I plodded along and did my work.  Although, at one point, I was trying to garnish a plate with this green basil oil.  It was kind of cold and coagulated, so I shook the squeeze bottle to loosen it.  And the basil oil squirted all over my apron around my woo woo area.

Did I mention how I was working with all guys today.  And three of them witnessed the green jis squirt.  It was funny.

Then, later on, I tried to bake a custard for a special creme brulee pancake we are going to run this weekend.  The chef had told me to take a big sheet pan, which is the thinner pan, like a cookie sheet, but it's big, and put water in it for a water bath, and then bake 2 half sheet pans of creme brulee on top of that.

Well, I thought it was not a good idea, but I tried it anyway.  He always tells me to do stuff a certain way, and then he asks why I didn't.  So, I did this time.  And once again, a bunch of guys were standing around and watching my failed attempt to put this thing in the oven.  A waterfall of custard and water dumped over the oven door and then onto my pants and shoes.  So, they had to put the pan in the oven for me.  Terrible.  Bad decision making on my part all the way.

Then, after work, I put on my flip flops.  And then I was walking on the sidewalk and I stomped right into a puddle.  Right into it.

After that, we went to the local bar to have a beer.  I was pouring my beer into my glass, and I managed to somehow dump some of the beer straight onto my hand.

Yep.  It's been a long night and day.  I'm so ready to go to bed.  I'm exhausted.

But at the same time, I kind of have this nagging urge to take a sleeping pill.  They are so addicting.  I shouldn't have taken the half the other night....

Exhale

I've had this cough.  It's a shallow cough.  But, it feels like there is fluid in my lungs.  If I breathe in deep, it makes me have to cough.  And if I cough hard, my diaphragm gets stuck on my ribs, or something that feels like that.  It feels like a mild form of bronchitis.  I don't think bronchitis goes away on it's own, does it?  It could also be just allergies and post nasal drip.  Anyway, I don't like it.

When I'm stressed, I want to take a deep breath and let it out.  If I take a deep breath, I have to cough. So, instead, I just exhale deeply.  It's not the same.

It reminds me of this... not exactly a trick, but I can't think of the proper term for it.  There was this gross thing, that a friend showed me like when I first started (shhhh) smoking.  That was a long time ago.  I can't imagine smoking every day and craving it.  And I can't imagine chain smoking, that's for sure.  But I used to do it.  And this friend demonstrated how one could exhale as deeply as possible, without inhaling first, and one could expel the smoke still in the lungs.  I didn't believe it, but sure enough, a while after smoking, I could do it.  Expel the toxins.

So, maybe it's a good idea to just exhale deeply without inhaling.  It's like a lung cleanse.  I can think of another way I used to expel the lungs, but, it's definitely not ideal.  And, it's not legal either.  So, I won't talk about it.  I don't know if the DEA monitors this blog or not.  And while I haven't done anything illegal in ages - I mean, how could they prosecute -  I still don't need to delve further into this topic.  That's more of a, spend $11 to buy the book type of topic.

Anyway, go ahead.  Exhale as hard as you can.  It might feel weird when you do it, but it's oddly refreshing afterward.

Kids vs Dogs

I know I've discussed this topic before, but I just need to revisit for a bit.

As I type this, that dog of mine, Rudy, is barking at the back door, because the neighbor dogs are barking.  Rudy loves to bark.  He barks to go out.  He barks to play.  He barks when we throw a toy in the pool and he can't get at it. He barks to go to daycare.  He barks at other dogs.  He barks at people.  He will lay down or stand in the backyard and bark at seemingly nothing.  That seemingly nothing sometimes may be other dogs far away that I cannot hear, or not.

Kids don't bark.  They talk and yell.  If other kids yell, they may also yell.  But if kids yell, you can't grab them by the collar and shove them in a crate.  Kids will tell you exactly how they feel (I hate you mommy) while with dogs, there is a lot of guessing (I hate that you don't feed me all day long and aren't hanging out with me 24/7).

Dogs can be as expensive as you let them.  So can kids.  If you don't spend enough on kids though, there is more of a chance of you getting in trouble for it.

I've spent a lot of time training this dog, but not nearly enough.  If he was a kid, it would be even less quality time than what would be acceptable.

I like sleep.  This dog, who is not yet a year old, sleep soundly enough most nights.  I don't have to worry too often that he will wake me up in the middle of the night to go potty or whatever.  Not like babies and kids.  I see so many facebook posts about people being tired because the kid kept them up all night.  Those first few months of having to get up a couple of times a night to let the puppy out were so exhausting - and that was only a few months.  Now this guy has a bladder bigger than mine.  I have to get up in the middle of the night sometimes, way more often than Rudy.

Kids are nice, but so are dogs and cats and miniature ponies and pot bellied pigs, etc.  No one ever nags couples to ask them when they are going to get a dog, cat, miniature pony, pot bellied pig, etc, do they?

Worn out

Like that first clubbing outfit we get as young adults. You know what I mean...

I feel like I've been tired since I was a child. Am I just lazy and mentally telling myself I have chronic fatigue syndrome in order to justify not finishing the things I put on my to do list?

Maybe. What about the dizziness and the knee problems, though? I mean, at one point today I thought I was going to collapse.

Do I just have a low threshold for physical discomfort then?

And why couldn't I have just won the lottery?

Completed

What did I complete on my to do list....

well, I skimmed the leaves and bigger stuff out of the pool, and I cleaned the pool filter.  So I partially cleaned the pool.

And then I put one of those as seen on TV hanging magnetic screens on the screen door bottom panel.  So, it's "fixed" but a temporary fix.  And my hope was that the cats would be too scared to push through the screen panels to escape outside.  Wrong!!! Stinky was in the lanai a few minutes before he pushed back the screen and scampered out.

And, I did most of the laundry and emptied the dishwasher and refilled it, so that's partial cleaning.

And, yeah, that's really all I got on the to do list....