something to ponder

When life fucks you in the ass, do you fight it, or do you just take it, relax and try to learn to enjoy it?

Tree Stand Follies

So, as is customary for me, I have such big plans for the holidays, but then other elements of life get in the way.

And here I was three days before Christmas, trying to get in the holiday spirit, finally.

Actually, it started with last night, when I was frantically combing the entire tiny house.  I was looking for the Christmas tree stand.  I was thinking of going to get a tree last night, but I never found the stand.  We had packed that stand in San Diego and brought it here to Florida.  I remember the debate about it.  How we might want a tree a month later, since we moved in November.  And, it didn't take up all that much room in the cube.

So, there I was, searching all over.  I couldn't find the damn thing.  And they aren't that cheap either.  Which is why I wanted to keep it.  Is it possible that we brought it all the way here to our crappy apartment, and then when we moved into the house, we decided not to keep it?  That just doesn't sound like me....

So, I woke up early this morning and went straight to Home Depot across Sheridan to beat the traffic and get a tree.  When I got there, Home Depot was open.  But the tree lot was all chained up.  There were a bunch of dried out brown looking trees all thrown in the back of the lot.  I guess I could have asked if they were bringing more trees in, but it looked doubtful.

So, I went to Kmart across the street to look for a tree stand.  They only had fake trees, so, they didn't have live tree stands.  Then I went back across the street to Big Lots.  Lots of Christmas crap that they were consolidating, but no tree stand.  Then I went back across the street to go to Office Max and get planners for 2013, since the whole Mayan apocalypse thing didn't pan out.  But Office Max was closed, because I forgot it was still early.

So, I figured I would just drive down Stirling and maybe find a Christmas Tree tent.  I didn't.  So I had to drive all the way over to the other Home Depot.  They had a ton of trees, so I bought this little 6 footer.  But they were all out of stands.  Really?  Really!  The guy told me there was a shortage and it was easier to find a tree than a stand.  Why though, why?

Oh, and I wasn't thinking, so I don't know if I was allowed to tip him, but I didn't.  I hope I wasn't supposed to, because, then I feel like an asshole.  Even though if I thought about it, I would have tried anyway.  But I didn't, and I suck.

So, I went across the street to Target, even though I knew they wouldn't have a stand.  And they didn't.

So, I drove all the way south to Walmart.  No live trees.  Lots of fake trees.  There was this amazing little purple lighted tree.  If I knew what the price was, and it was cheap, and there were boxes of them readily available, I would have bought one.  I still might go after Christmas to see if I can get one!

But anyway, they didn't have a live tree stand.

I was contemplating how I could turn our empty planter into a tree stand.  I thought it might involve putting holes in it and finding big screws to hold the tree in place.  That sounded like too much work.  But I thought I might have to.

So, I was driving home on 441, when I saw a Christmas tree tent.  With a bunch of stands!  So, I pulled over.  I asked this slow old man how much they were.  The big one was like $30, the medium was $25, and the small was $20.  I asked for the small one.  Apparently, the only small one left was holding a small tree up and he proceeded to take the tree out.  When I saw that, I told him I would take the medium one.  I think that was just a scam, but it worked.  He told me the medium one was sturdier and would last longer anyway, maybe 5 or 6 years.  But I couldn't even keep one for one year!

So, I got my damn stand.  So, I raced home and put the tree in the stand and filled it with water.  And Rudy drank from the water, of course.  But now, ten hours later, the tree still isn't fluffed out.  The branches are still at a 45 degree angle.

But anyway, the FP put what lights we had in the house on the teeny tree.  And it looks so cute.  I won't post a picture though, until we finish putting the ornaments on it.  So hopefully tomorrow.

Here's to a happy ending.... LOL!!!

Making Amends

If one makes amends, is that the same as apologizing?  Hm... am I apologizing for not haven written in a few days, or am I just making amends?  Or maybe neither.  I'm tired.  I have to go to bed.  The reasons why will be revealed shortly, if you don't already know.  I just have one nugget of wisdom for you tonight:


Next time you go swimming in a pool, think about this:  there is P and Poo in every single Pool

Thank you and good nite!

The Big Dipper

I hate roller coaster rides with the big vertical dips.  They make me want to hurl.  But, that's how life is sometimes.  That makes me want to hurl also.  I like life to be predictable, but unpredictable every once in a while in my favor.  I like to have a set schedule, but then have a few days off every few months or so.  I guess that's what people who have 9-5 jobs get.  I don't understand all that down time though.  What I think of office jobs, are that they often are slow enough that people have time for restroom breaks whenever, coffee breaks, water breaks, cigarette breaks, and lunch hour.  It's mind boggling.  I know, there are rules that say people have to take breaks, yeah, whatever.  I would prefer to just work as fast as possible and work straight through and leave early.

I'm not one for closing.  I like to open and then have others clean up the mess.

Anyway, what I think I've been trying to say, the past few weeks have been a stomach churner of a roller coaster.  Things happening every day unannounced.  Not necessarily a bad thing.  But sometimes it seems like it wouldn't be too far fetched if the 21st is the end of the world.  If that's the case, then I shouldn't bother to pay any bills before then, right?  I should just spend it all on frivolity instead.

But, the way things turn out for me, what would happen would be, that I would win the lottery on the 20th, and then before I would even get my grubby paws on the winnings, the world would end.

pouf!

Pro- Probiotic

So, I make lots of dumb decisions, or non-decisions, rather.  There is always so much going on in my head that I have to wade through, that I often get bogged down in my brain and end up being non productive.  

So, what the fuck am I babbling about anyway?

If you couldn't get it from the title, I'm talking about probiotics.  I ran out of them a month or two ago, and I kept being too lazy to get them.  So, I had the same old affliction again last week.  I went on two walks with Rudy, and took him to the dog park where I have to walk around to keep him moving, so it was really like three walks.  So, it was like I might have walked over three miles.  Which might not sound a lot, but the morning walk included some jogging.  So, that's a lot of energy expenditure for me.  I have no stamina, and I've had that chest thing for a while too.

So, I started to get that run down feeling.  I definitely felt tired every day at work, and I would get those dizzy spells that I used to get.  So, I finally got the vitamins and probiotics that I needed and I started taking them again.  Before the probiotics, I was always feeling shitty and on the verge of getting sick, especially when I would push myself with exercise.

Today, though, I woke up feeling like total shit.  My head felt heavy.

Ok, I'll confess, I did take just a tiny bit of a generic tylenol pm.  Just a bit, and I took it early.  But still, I thought, maybe that was why I felt like shit.  But after the coffee, and the poo, and the drive to work and getting set up for brunch, I still felt horrible.  So, I drank lots of water.  And I drank a glass of OJ.  But still, I felt dizzy.  And I was freezing every time I went into the walk in.  So, it was hot in the kitchen today, but I sweat my ass off, and I may have had a fever.  It's hard to tell though.

So, anyway, here I am, back on the probiotics.  I hope they help in the long term, because I know in the short term they won't be a solution.

Whelp, back on the nyquil too.  I need something to help me sleep, which will help me relax, which will help me recover.  I don't feel like I have enough time to really relax.  Because there's always my mind mucking about, even when my body is at rest.

Long Night

last night.  First of all, I went to bed late because I was texting and on the internet and blogging late.  Ok, not too big of a deal... wait for it....

So, then, I went into bed.  And The Fuzz jumped up on the side of the bed like she does.  So, I pet her. And I was ready to fall asleep, but then she turned around in bed, and I smell the stench of cat shit.  I kind of reached for her fluff butt, and I grabbed a poo coin.

Yes, a poo coin.  It's too big to be a dingleberry.  It was like a round turd, that she probably smushed into a coin shape.

And I touched it.

So, I had to pick her up and bring her into the other room to turn on the light to see her poo coin and remove it.  She started freaking out.  So, I had to move her into the bathroom so I could contain her better.  She started freaking out.  She was meowing her head off and trying to get out of the door.  So, of course, Stinky came over to try to look inside.  Anyway, I finally pulled the poo coin off her fluff butt, and then I had to wipe her butt with a moist toilet paper.  It was tan.  So, I wipe some more, and more and more.  I swear, I must have used a third a roll of toilet paper.  I had to add a little soap to the toilet paper.  Finally, the toilet paper came away from her fluff butt white.  So, I tried to dry it off a little more, then I released her. I warshed my hands very well, and then went back to bed.

So, about 2 hours later, I wake with a start to Rudy whinging.  He doesn't really whine much in the middle of the night.  If he does, it's because he needs something.  I let him go on for a bit to see if he would just stop on his own.

He didn't.  So, finally, I put my glasses back on and let him out.  I asked him if he needed a drinkie or go potty.  He wandered around the dark living room until he wandered to the rug.  On the rug was a log that looked like poo, but I was pretty sure it was cat throw up.  He preceeded to eat the throw up, and before I could stop him, it had all disappeared down his black hole of a digestive system.  Then he was ready to go back to bed.  So, he awoke at the sound of a cat throwing up, and he could not go back to sleep until he ate it.

Gross.

So, finally, I went back to bed.  And then, a few hours later, I awoke to a loud clatter.  And then another.  Then I knew - it was Stinksy knocking the vitamin bottles off the kitchen table.  Well, I knew there could only be one or two more bottles, so hopefully he would just knock them off and be done with it.  Luckily, he stopped at two.

So, I went back to sleep.

And of course, I woke up at 5:30 like I have been.  And I really didn't sleep for the next hour, but I stayed in bed anyway.

So, of course, I was a little tired at work.  But it was slow.  So, I plodded along and did my work.  Although, at one point, I was trying to garnish a plate with this green basil oil.  It was kind of cold and coagulated, so I shook the squeeze bottle to loosen it.  And the basil oil squirted all over my apron around my woo woo area.

Did I mention how I was working with all guys today.  And three of them witnessed the green jis squirt.  It was funny.

Then, later on, I tried to bake a custard for a special creme brulee pancake we are going to run this weekend.  The chef had told me to take a big sheet pan, which is the thinner pan, like a cookie sheet, but it's big, and put water in it for a water bath, and then bake 2 half sheet pans of creme brulee on top of that.

Well, I thought it was not a good idea, but I tried it anyway.  He always tells me to do stuff a certain way, and then he asks why I didn't.  So, I did this time.  And once again, a bunch of guys were standing around and watching my failed attempt to put this thing in the oven.  A waterfall of custard and water dumped over the oven door and then onto my pants and shoes.  So, they had to put the pan in the oven for me.  Terrible.  Bad decision making on my part all the way.

Then, after work, I put on my flip flops.  And then I was walking on the sidewalk and I stomped right into a puddle.  Right into it.

After that, we went to the local bar to have a beer.  I was pouring my beer into my glass, and I managed to somehow dump some of the beer straight onto my hand.

Yep.  It's been a long night and day.  I'm so ready to go to bed.  I'm exhausted.

But at the same time, I kind of have this nagging urge to take a sleeping pill.  They are so addicting.  I shouldn't have taken the half the other night....

Exhale

I've had this cough.  It's a shallow cough.  But, it feels like there is fluid in my lungs.  If I breathe in deep, it makes me have to cough.  And if I cough hard, my diaphragm gets stuck on my ribs, or something that feels like that.  It feels like a mild form of bronchitis.  I don't think bronchitis goes away on it's own, does it?  It could also be just allergies and post nasal drip.  Anyway, I don't like it.

When I'm stressed, I want to take a deep breath and let it out.  If I take a deep breath, I have to cough. So, instead, I just exhale deeply.  It's not the same.

It reminds me of this... not exactly a trick, but I can't think of the proper term for it.  There was this gross thing, that a friend showed me like when I first started (shhhh) smoking.  That was a long time ago.  I can't imagine smoking every day and craving it.  And I can't imagine chain smoking, that's for sure.  But I used to do it.  And this friend demonstrated how one could exhale as deeply as possible, without inhaling first, and one could expel the smoke still in the lungs.  I didn't believe it, but sure enough, a while after smoking, I could do it.  Expel the toxins.

So, maybe it's a good idea to just exhale deeply without inhaling.  It's like a lung cleanse.  I can think of another way I used to expel the lungs, but, it's definitely not ideal.  And, it's not legal either.  So, I won't talk about it.  I don't know if the DEA monitors this blog or not.  And while I haven't done anything illegal in ages - I mean, how could they prosecute -  I still don't need to delve further into this topic.  That's more of a, spend $11 to buy the book type of topic.

Anyway, go ahead.  Exhale as hard as you can.  It might feel weird when you do it, but it's oddly refreshing afterward.

Kids vs Dogs

I know I've discussed this topic before, but I just need to revisit for a bit.

As I type this, that dog of mine, Rudy, is barking at the back door, because the neighbor dogs are barking.  Rudy loves to bark.  He barks to go out.  He barks to play.  He barks when we throw a toy in the pool and he can't get at it. He barks to go to daycare.  He barks at other dogs.  He barks at people.  He will lay down or stand in the backyard and bark at seemingly nothing.  That seemingly nothing sometimes may be other dogs far away that I cannot hear, or not.

Kids don't bark.  They talk and yell.  If other kids yell, they may also yell.  But if kids yell, you can't grab them by the collar and shove them in a crate.  Kids will tell you exactly how they feel (I hate you mommy) while with dogs, there is a lot of guessing (I hate that you don't feed me all day long and aren't hanging out with me 24/7).

Dogs can be as expensive as you let them.  So can kids.  If you don't spend enough on kids though, there is more of a chance of you getting in trouble for it.

I've spent a lot of time training this dog, but not nearly enough.  If he was a kid, it would be even less quality time than what would be acceptable.

I like sleep.  This dog, who is not yet a year old, sleep soundly enough most nights.  I don't have to worry too often that he will wake me up in the middle of the night to go potty or whatever.  Not like babies and kids.  I see so many facebook posts about people being tired because the kid kept them up all night.  Those first few months of having to get up a couple of times a night to let the puppy out were so exhausting - and that was only a few months.  Now this guy has a bladder bigger than mine.  I have to get up in the middle of the night sometimes, way more often than Rudy.

Kids are nice, but so are dogs and cats and miniature ponies and pot bellied pigs, etc.  No one ever nags couples to ask them when they are going to get a dog, cat, miniature pony, pot bellied pig, etc, do they?

Worn out

Like that first clubbing outfit we get as young adults. You know what I mean...

I feel like I've been tired since I was a child. Am I just lazy and mentally telling myself I have chronic fatigue syndrome in order to justify not finishing the things I put on my to do list?

Maybe. What about the dizziness and the knee problems, though? I mean, at one point today I thought I was going to collapse.

Do I just have a low threshold for physical discomfort then?

And why couldn't I have just won the lottery?

Completed

What did I complete on my to do list....

well, I skimmed the leaves and bigger stuff out of the pool, and I cleaned the pool filter.  So I partially cleaned the pool.

And then I put one of those as seen on TV hanging magnetic screens on the screen door bottom panel.  So, it's "fixed" but a temporary fix.  And my hope was that the cats would be too scared to push through the screen panels to escape outside.  Wrong!!! Stinky was in the lanai a few minutes before he pushed back the screen and scampered out.

And, I did most of the laundry and emptied the dishwasher and refilled it, so that's partial cleaning.

And, yeah, that's really all I got on the to do list....

To Do List

I'm texting with my bff, checking in on facebook, and watching the Saints/Falcons game.
Seems like the appropriate time to "jot" down a household to do list:

1. Fix the front door handle.  That's been an issue for like a year now.

2.  Fix the screen door, the hinges and the bottom screen.  These have both been a few months.  The screen, I tried to fix before, but Rudy just popped it out when he jumped on it.

3.  Fix the back bathroom shower so that the water is hotter.  This has been from the beginning.  I tried to fix it by taking off the hot cold handle and moving the plastic disc, but this didn't work.  And the water in the rest of the house can get scalding.

4.  Fix the clog in the other bathroom shower.  This has been really from the beginning too.  We tried to snake it, and the snake would get caught.  We've bought a couple snakes.  The last time, I kind of unclogged it a little, but that lasted just a couple showers.  Then it stopped up again.  We need a snake with a narrower..."head".  It gets stuck.

5.  Clean clean clean!  everything!

6.  Weed everything!!! So many weeds!

7.  Clean the pool!  It's so dirty.  But it's cold, so I  don't want to go in, and it's difficult to clean some parts standing outside.

8.  Do something with the solar cover that is just all over the back of the yard behind the pool.

9. Mow the lawns.  It's been a few weeks, so it's time.

10.  Clean out the litter boxes.  I dumped them out and put in new litter, but I don't think that is enough for the cats.  Stinky tends to piss everywhere nowadays.

11. Clean the shutters.  They are dirty.

12.  Fix the 2 broken shutters.  That's so ghetto.

13.  Finish decorating the house!

14.  Fix all those broken hinges on the kitchen cabinets!  They are annoying!

15.  Put up more cat perch shelves around the house.




That is all.  Easy, huh?  Not, for me....

good luck

All I'm going to say to any of you out there who bought powerball tickets, for the jackpot of $500 million, good luck!

Yeah, yeah, money can't buy you happiness right?  But you can sure have a great time trying!

And, yeah, I am sitting here wishing I had bought more tickets.....

What Do I Do When I Don't Feel Like Posting?

I post a video of the animals...

Today was a weird day.  I spent lots of time with Rudy, and I realized, I never have enough time or energy to spend quality time with him.  He needs a lot of work.  And lots of love.  The work... well, it's a work in progress.

The love, yes, that's also a work in progress too.  He doesn't like to be hugged.  He growls if we hug him.  And if we pet him or crowd him the wrong way when he's not in the mood, he growls.  He's high maintenance, because the reverse side of it, is that he doesn't like to be left alone outside or in a room when we are somewhere else.  He whines this high pitched whine like he's in danger or something.

But, we had a first today.  I was trying to rip the broken screen off the door, and Rudy was crowding me.  So, I pushed him away with my hip, and I might have inadvertently pushed his head against the door frame.  He looked a little stunned, but not hurt.  I felt really really bad.  I bent down to pet him, and he seemed fine, then he licked my face.  I have never let him lick my face.  He's such a dirty dog.  He eats shit and dirt and bugs and dirty napkins and licks the floor.  But I hurt him and I felt bad and I apologized, and he licked my face.  What a good doggie.

Anyhoo, on a totally different subject, I dropped my iphone for the first time today!  It was a horrible feeling.  That's what I get for using the iphone while driving (at a stoplight mind you) and then setting it on the seat next to me and forgetting it was there.  When I got out of the car, it tumbled out onto the ground.  Luckily, I had that big bulky lifeproof case on it.  I'm not sure if it would have faired quite as well with the cool smaller and slender transparent purple case.  It might have been okay, but it fell face side down. :(  I hate myself for doing something stupid like that.  I should know better by now, since I've had to live with myself for almost 39 years now.

Thanklessgiving

I could have gone traditional and written what I'm thankful for on Thanksgiving day.  But I was busy and didn't really have time to, and I'm sure I've done that before numerous times.

So, now that it's after Thanksgiving, let's take time to list the the things that I'm not thankful for!  In no specific order of course:

1.  Black Friday.  I don't like it.  Waiting in line to buy things other than concert tickets?  I don't get it!  And then, people kill each other over these sales?  Really?  No!  What material item is vaulable enough to constitute murdering someone for the chance to purchase it?

2.  Road Rage Drivers.  Scary.  Dangerous.  Cause fatal accidents that make me late for work.

3. Seasonal shopping traffic.  If I just need to go down the street a mile and a half to the shopping center, I don't want it to take fifteen minutes to get there, and then 20 minutes to get back.  Where are all these people the rest of the year?  Do they not go to the store the rest of the year?  And what about online shopping?  I thought that cut down on a lot of in store shopping?  So, it could be even worse?

4. Animal Abusers.  Why would you hurt and animal?

5. Rapists and sex slave traders.  They are just bad people.

6. Whoever decided to cancel Outsourced and then Community on NBC.  Bastard.

7. Brunch.  Who the fuck came up with this meal, and did they invent it to torture service industry people?

8. Pending transactions.  hate waiting to see if a transaction has gone through in my account, and seeing sometimes that it takes days.  Sometimes, it appears that deposits are purposely not put in right away, so that the charges can go through first and overdraft fees will apply.

9. Animosity between Stinky and Rudy.  It's been 8 months now.  Can't they just get along already?

10.  The debris - leaves, ants, sand and trash - that ends up in my pool.  And the fact that the pool skimmer seems to have stopped working.

11. The Animal Planet channel show Too Cute!  It is so damn cute that it wastes my time.  I will watch a whole episode and pretty much stop what I'm doing, even if I've seen it before.

Whelp!  I'm tired, and that's about all I can think of right now.  So, that ends the list of thanklessnessgiving, 2012.

technology

You might hate it, but you gotta love it.  I mean, I love my mac.  But, those new commercials with the tablets that snap onto the keyboard or can be flipped around and stuff, those are exciting.  Is that wrong?  Maybe it is.

But I still love my computer.  And I love technology.  Technology allowed me to have a video conference with my 2 sisters (and my littlest baby nephew) tonight.  It was nice.  I can't exactly go visit them as often as I would like to, but at least I can see them on the world wide web.

Oh, and yes, I love my iphone.  It's so thin and sleek and light and cute and fast and connective.  Like say, I have to wait in the car for the FP to get out of work.  Before I could get on facebook after turning on the web browser and logging into facebook.  But it was a very limited and abbreviated version of facebook.  But now, I can just push a button on my iphone 5, and I'm on facebook.  I mean, my friends probably are over it because I post a lot more dumb posts... but that's mostly all I do on facebook anyway.

So, if you're looking at what to get me for Christmas... maybe some itunes credits so I can buy some cool apps?

And no, I have not downloaded Angry Birds.  When would I have time to post dumb shit on facebook?

Originality

Sometimes you hear a song that reminds you of another song, right?  I do this all the time.  I was doing it long before Pandora started that genome project.  And I didn't need complicated algorithms to do it either.  Anyway, these two songs have some similarities, no?

http://snd.sc/106qDlU

Modern Family

Friday night crazy.  Maybe I like Modern Family so much because it's about the wacky crazy yet close family that I can't understand....today the lady at daycare said that dogs are like practice for teenagers... I don't think I will ever have the privilege or nightmare to raise a teenager though....

Yes.  Watching Modern Family.  Oh, and Degrassi is being recorded, so that next.  Maybe if I'm not tired after, a Netflix selection....

Woo Hoo!

Anyone have any suggestions?

What I would like to do is watch Twilight Breaking Dawn part 1, and then go to the movies tomorrow and watch part 2 while the FP is at work!  But sadly, it's not on Netflix.  And yeah, I could find a place on the internets to watch it... but it's getting a little late anyway.

And, pu-lees.... Do Not judge!  Yes, I crave the Twilight movies kind of like I every once in a while crave Wendy's....

Now... what to watch for another half hour or hour before bedtime.....

2 Burning Questions

1.  Which came first - the porsche 911 or the emergency 911 call?

Answer: Porsche 911.  It came out in 1963.  The first 911 emergency call designation was in 1968.  But, according to this interwebs source, http://www.911dispatch.com/911/history/index.html, it wasn't officially designated the national emergency call number until 1999.

Oh, really?



2. Which came first - cell phone internet access or facebook?

I'm pretty sure it's cell phone internet access, but I'm not sure of the dates of either....

Answer: cell phone internet access in 1996.  I didn't even have a cell phone back then.  Facebook didn't start until 2004.  Funny, kids today must wonder what life was like before facebook.  It was myspace.
LOL! ;)

A weird day off

Is a day when I still end up waking up early and having to go into work.

Granted it was only a few hours, but I still had to go in, even though the owner asked me if it was my day off and why was I there.

I still had a nice enough day after work, but the stench of work was still on me.  If you've ever worked any kind of food service, then you know what I'm talking about.  Every day that I have to scoop ice cream, even if it's just one or two scoops, I can still smell the ice cream on my arms even though I tried to wash them.  Of course, maybe I'm ultra sensitive to the smell of ice cream despite my weak sense of smell because of my prior employment at Ben N Jerry's.

So, after work, the FP and I went to lunch.  Then we went to Publix to buy green drink and soy milk (makes us sound like pseudo health nuts, huh?).  Then we picked Rudy up from the daycare way early.  He was surprised, but at least he didn't try to run back into the back like he's done before... instead, he just passed out in the car and then went home and snoozed in the crate for an hour.

Later we took him for a walk downtown, during which we saw the coolest sidewalk stain.
It was a polar bear.  But, I'm going to be a tease, because I don't have a photo of it.  If you are facebook friends with the FP though, then you can see it on his page.  If not, tough shit.

Anyway, here we are now.  Everyone is napping, while I'm blogging, paying bills and watching Twilight.  I just have this urge to watch horribly cheesy bad TV and movies when the FP is away or asleep and I want to unwind.  This piano scene with Edward and Bella reminds me of some Sting video in the 80s or something.

Whelp!  Back to the grind tomorrow.  How else can I pay the bills to watch bad TV and then blog about it?

Addicted

to sleeping.  It's something that I just can't seem to get enough.  And I've become dependent on drugs to get it.

Is that wrong?

I mean, it's not like I'm popping Lunesta all hours of the day.  I have generic acetaminophen and diphenhydramine PM stuff.  I started taking 2 when I was sick and weening myself off of nyquil.  Then I went down to one, and now, I just bite off like a half or third of one.  So, it's not like I'm building a tolerance much... but it helps me sleep through the night, rather than waking up every 2 hours.

And don't go and recommend that new Nyquil Zzzzzzz.  I looked at the stuff.  It's just diphenhydramine.  The same amount that's in all the sleep aids.  But without the pain killer.  And I'm getting older and have a physical job.  I could use a little bit of pain killer.  It's just a little.

And not to change the subject, but this Breaking Amish show is funny.  They are in Atlantic City for a bachelor/bachelorette party drinking through penis straws and stuff.  It's funny, because it reminds me of that show Laguna Beach that was on MTV... but the opposite.  Oh, never mind.

Cats and dogs

This is a big deal. Rudy terrorizes the cats every chance he gets. It's nice to have quiet time with these two. Now if he will let Stinksy go onto the couch without trying to eat him!

Didn't feel it

last night.  Just couldn't blog.  

I don't really have the emotional energy to blog tonight either.  But I know that sometimes we just have to plow through.

That's what I tell myself every other day at work.  Plow through.  Just plow through.  I look at my prep list every day and I think, I don't want to prep that.  Or that.  Or that.  Or that.  It's not difficult things, and it's not a whole lot of things, as we are not that busy right now.  But, it's just routine stuff. And messy stuff.  I hate prepping messy stuff on my teeny little station.  It... makes a big mess.

Anyway, I tend to overprep.  I'm always preparing for the apocalyse.  Or the event that I die on the way to work.  Or maybe I just wake up one day and win the lottery.  And I wouldn't be one of those admirable people who decide to go into work anyway.  Everyone laughs at my systems.  They don't get it.  Like why do I write the recipe for pancakes on the ziploc bag of dry ingredients that I make the day before I make the batter?  And why do I mix the dry ingredients the day before anyway?  Well, it takes time to mix 8 gallons of pancake batter by hand.  And I have to do it in 2 or 3 batches because that is all the gigantic bowl will hold at one time.  And so, it makes it easier if I premix the dry ingredients ahead of time.  And then, say that I do die on the way to work one day before Saturday or Sunday, or any day, really.  So, then, come time to make the pancake batter, lo and behold, it's like I'm an angel on the shoulder of whoever has to make the batter, and I'm whispering the recipe to him (not a her, because I'm the only female in the kitchen). 

So, you could almost... almost say the same thing for this blog.  Sometimes I start a draft of a blog idea.  That way, if I want to pick up that topic and blog about it at a later date, I could.  So, if I died and someone got into my account, they could easily pick up those topics and blog in my voice, and no one would know.

Oh, no.  I just might have given some sick individual an idea.  They could come over and hold us all hostage and blog as me, and no one would be the wiser from tracking my blogs!  

Wait a minute.

For all you know, some sick individual could be doing that right now.  Maybe we are being held hostage and someone is impersonating the Food Ho right this minute.  And you wouldn't even know the difference!

Election Day!

Remember that Reese Witherspoon movie, Election?  I loved that movie.  I wish presidential elections were as funny.  And that presidential candidates handed out cupcakes.  Some people might argue that presidential elections are as funny, and that candidates do hand out metaphoric cupcakes.  But I don't get any of those metaphoric cupcakes.  I would rather have actual cupcakes than metaphoric ones anyway.  I love actual cupcakes with nice soft icing.  I like a good red velvet cupcake.  And even just a plain yellow or white cake cupcake is delicious.  Coconut is always a favorite of mine.  Chocolate has to be moist.  I kind of cringe at the word moist.  But I don't hate it like the word turd.  Man I could go for a good cupcake right about now.  No, I'm not really over the cupcake craze because I don't frequent cupcake shops.  I just every once in a while get the occasional 6 pack of cupcakes from Publix when they look good.

Anyway, I think Election day and the day after should be national holidays.  Don't you think.  I mean like real holidays where almost all the businesses are closed or have shorter hours.  Wouldn't that be nice?

It's so scary and exciting though, to be a part of an important swing state.  Watching the numbers recalculate, it's a real nail biter.  But, I'll probably fall asleep before they have a decisive winner for Florida, let alone the name of the president for the next 4 years.

Anyway, I'm burnt out by all this campaign bullshit.  I feel like no public money should go towards campaigns, and instead of donating money to campaigns, people should donate money to charities sponsored by the candidates.  Wouldn't that be nice?

I know, it would also be nice to have unicorns as pets.  But they might still accidentally stab you with their horn.  And you would have to always worry about some poacher coming to steal the horn as well.  And also all the neighborhood kids would always be ringing your doorbell wanting to pet the unicorn.  And you would have to turn them away sometimes, telling them that the unicorn is fragile and dainty and doesn't always want to frolick and rough house with the kids.  And then the kids would be disappointed.

But, anyway, getting back to the topic at hand, the other topic besides cupcakes and unicorns - in the midst of the spouting off of political bullshit from all directions, especially on facebook, I found some unexpected words of profoundness from a facebook friend.  It's so strange that someone who I wasn't close to in high school can affect my line of thinking from facebook of all places - without even knowing the effect.

Here's the two quotes:

I am proud to have NOT posted one political thing all season long. At the end of the day, we will vote from a point of personal integrity...not because our beliefs were positioned and skewered by insatiable social media.

When you're too religious, you tend to point your finger to judge instead of extending your hand to help. Keeping a formative pulse of your own piety is wise.

Whelp! Here's to seeing you tomorrow on the other side!!!!  Goodnight all!

Eve of choice

I do not pretend to be political or understand all the issues that I have to vote on tomorrow.  And yes, I know that it all affects me personally.  But, like in school, sometimes it does work to do a last minute cram for the exam.

The problem is, I want everyone to be happy and healthy and prosperous and productive and free to have their own ideas and opinions, as long as those ideas and opinions don't harm anyone else in action.

Is that unrealistic?

I guess so.  I can't wait to have people stop talking about it though.  I will never be forced into sharing someone's opinion if they try to beat it into me by ranting about their point of view.  It doesn't work that way.  The more someone goes off, the more I go into a coma like trance.

All I know, is that tomorrow is a big day.  People are going to be all in a lather.  I'm interested to see the results.  I just don't want to be preached at.  And I don't want to have to stand in a long ass line.

I'm not sure if I can avoid either of those things, though.

Hmm.....

So, it's Sunday.  You know how I hate working Sundays.  Brunch.

Interestingly enough, the chef quietly took today off.  Sunday.  Off.  The busiest day of the week.  He's had several Sundays off.

1.  His birthday.
2. His vacation week.
3. His wife's birthday.
4. A couple Sunday's after his wife's birthday, because his wife's birthday was during the hurricane Isaac warning, so they didn't get to do anything.
5.  This Sunday - I'm not sure what for.

I have been off one Sunday.  When we went to Michigan for our friends' wedding.  We worked through Thursday, then we flew out Friday morning, drove up to Traverse City and got there in the evening, tried to relax Saturday day, went to the wedding and stayed out really late, got up early Sunday to drive back to Detroit and get on a plane, then we went to work Monday morning.

Fuck that shit!  I am like the least important person in the kitchen on Sundays.  Why have I only had one Sunday off.  Oh well.  The chef is not going to be happy when I tell him the days I am going to need off during the busy season....

Tired and Confused

I don't know what time it will be when I wake up.  Will my ipod automatically change time, so that when my alarm goes off it will be the right time?  Or what?  This is weird.  I don't know if I have a watch with a working battery.  Oh... the stove clock doesn't update automatically.  So I could set it now, and when I wake up in the morning it will be correct!

Good.  Because I'm about to take some Nyquil, which means I won't quite have all my faculties when I wake up tomorrow morning.

Regression

I started sleeping with a blankie, or binky or whatever you want to call it. When I got sick I took one of the cuddly couch blankets into the bed to keep me warm and keep my nose and mouth covered so I wouldn't get more sick. The FP pulls the blanket around his feet, so my top half isn't fully covered.

Well, my cold or whatever has travelled to my chest where I can feel the congestion. And the blankie has stayed in the bed where it keeps my mouth and nose covered every night. No stuffy sinuses though...

un....

settled.

Do you ever just have this unsettled, uneasy, unhappy, edgy, and weary feeling?  Have you ever felt this same atmosphere fall over an entire group of people?  Like, maybe at work.  That's what it felt like today.  Things were just not right.  And service was not smooth.  And I really just didn't want to be there.

Sure, everyone feels like that some days.  Some people feel like that every day.  But today was just weird.  It was like it was a full moon.  Well, it's not.  I checked, and the full moon was on November 29th.  Anyway, it was a weird day.

And we have ticks.

And now my nice new easy to use iphone 5 won't pair with my macbook pro.

Why?

Hollow Weenie!

What's the Halloween equivalent of the Grinch?

Whatever it is... that's me.  I'm the grumpy old lady with the barking dog that doesn't open the door.  Ok, well, only one person tried to knock on the door around 9 pm, but still, I didn't open it.  And no, my porch light was not on.

It's ironic.  I used to have trouble going out on Halloween because I was working.  Now, I have nights off, and I can't go out because we have to work tomorrow morning.  The FP is in bed.  Sure, I could have gone out by myself to a coworker's party.  But I don't have the balls to go alone.  I don't hang out with my coworkers socially.  And I feel uncomfortable at parties if I'm not drinking.  And I can't drive to a party alone and drink more than a drink or two.  And that would not be enough to alleviate my social anxiety.

So, I'm staying in tonight and blogging instead.  I'm not really tired right now, so I'm not going to bed.  I kind of have a sleeping pill habit.  I took a half a sleeping pill tonight.  But I've been taking a half or a whole almost every night the past week or so.  The one night that I didn't take anything, I was pretty much up half of the night.  So, I got scared the next night and I took a sleeping pill again.  I am developing a tolerance of sleeping pills now, because I should be sleepy by now, but I'm not.

So, here we are.  I'm writing this, and you're reading it.  Yeah, I know.  Actually, I have already written it, and you are reading it.

I've had this tightness in my chest, and I feel like I've had fluid in my lungs since after those few days when I seemed to have a cold or sinus irritation or whatever.  It's getting to be annoying, but I don't really feel like going to a doctor and being told that it's nothing, or just allergies, and do I smoke and how much do I exercise.  Plus, I would have to find a clinic to go to, as I don't have one that I go to.  And I don't really know what my health insurance covers.

So, that's that.  Here I am.  Safe and dry, and with electricity.  And I'm going on about trivial things, when there are millions of people with much bigger problems than me, like a burnt down house, or no electricity, or a flooded house, or no public transportation to work.

But I guess that's life.

Noisy, Aggressive, Smelly, Greedy, Entitled, Rude, Unapologetic

Frat Boys.....

Oh, no, I mean Rudy.

He is so obnoxious.  He's loud and clumsy - he's a bull in a china shop.  And he's jealous and possessive, yet he growls a lot when we try to pet him.  When he's cranky or anxious and wants to play, he follows me around and bites me.  He knows he isn't supposed to eat our food or the cats' food, but he tries to every chance he gets.  He makes lots of loud noises that sound like old men sleeping, or teamsters, or passed out frat boys.  His farts are horribly offensive.  I mean they permeate the whole room and literally smell like shit.  Tonight, I smelled one all of a sudden, and I had to check the rug he was lying on to make sure he hadn't shat on it.  He hadn't.  It was just a fart.

Oh the joys of dog parenting that I've waited so long for.  I think the problem is, I should have gotten a dog a long ass time ago.  A long ass time ago, I wasn't as much of a germaphobe, or as OCD about certain things, and I was more patient and tolerant, I wasn't as much as a grumpy old person as I am now.

But, he's funny.  And he's goofy.  And he's Rudy.

But I'm thinking I need to get beano for dogs.  I mean really. It smelled like shit.

First try blogging with the iPhone

My biggest reason for holding out on getting an iPhone was always not having a tactile qwerty keyboard. I have clumsy thumbs. This is taking forever to type. Hopefully I will get better at this as I communicate through texting a lot. Although with texting I can use the phone sideways. And there isn't this annoying drop down menu that covers up the last word of every line. It's maddening!!!! I am going to have to email blogger about that. They need to update this app ASAP.

What I did most of the day

I ordered an iphone 5 on like 9/23, and it finally arrived today 10/27.  I got the case for it long before I got the phone.  I neglected to get a adapter so I can use the old iphone connectors/chargers, so I might have to go to the mall and go to the apple store to get one.  That sucks.

I should be more excited about finally getting an iphone, an iphone 5.  But, it kind of sucks setting up a new phone and setting up email and contacts and stuff.  And then the phone bill is going to go up too.  To upgrade from a little chunky blue tween dumbphone to this is like skipping junior high and going straight to grad school at MIT.  Well, actually, I had some stuff already set up because I set up my ipod with apps and stuff.  If I upgraded my laptop OS and I could use icloud, it would be a lot easier.  But I'm just scared that things won't work properly if I do, like the apogee Duet interface.  So, I'm just going to stick with snow leopard.

Dog Farts

What's up with dog farts?  They are so stinky.  And this guy, Rudy, seems to be mostly gassy when sleeping.  When he's snoozing in the car on the way home from daycare, or when he's laying on the floor in front of the couch, he really lets loose.  But they are always silent.

And then yesterday, he was being rambunctious or something.  One of us asked him to sit.  And he sat. And then we heard a "squeak"!  And he looked at the FP when the noise came out.  But it wasn't from the FP.  It was Rudy's fart.

So, dog farts can make noises!

And sometimes it's difficult to distinguish a dog fart from a human fart - especially when one has a gaseous family like mine.  One day, I swore the FP had farted in the car.  But he swore it was Rudy.  But it was weird, because it smelled meaty, and the FP had been eating the chili I cooked the night before... Weird.  Unless Rudy had licked a bowl with chili on it or something....

Dog farts.  Those are funny.

erghhhhhhh

blahhhhhhhhhhhurrrrrggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhlllaaaaaaaaggggggggggghhhhhhhh


yeah.  That's about all I have to say

To Do Lists

I had to start putting to do lists on my ipod and in my datebook.  But I can't see to finish them when I list them in my datebook, and my reminders list on the ipod is so slowly being checked off, that I think I'm adding more than finishing.

So what do I do on my days off when I'm not ticking off lines off my to do list?  I spend quality time with Rudy so he won't be an asshole.  I catch up on shows that I recorded.  I spend more quality time with Rudy.  I eat cupcakes.  And I watch more TV.

And then I blog about it.

One More Glass Of Sake

and then what?  Do I drink a beer?  Or do we stop for the night and get on the PJs and watch TV?

Oh, I don't know.  I'm weary.  Life is exhausting.  My life isn't really all that bad.  But others around me are having fucked up things happen to them.

Anyway, what to talk about?  I posted last night's blog on facebook like 10 times because it kept showing that it wasn't published....

Which reminds me about what I want to vent about tonight!

The iphone 5!!!!

I ordered one... oh, on 9/28/12.  And it is... oh, 10/22/12.  And when I checked the status on the AT&T website, it said back ordered.  Then I did what I always do first when I have questions.  I googled iphone 5 back order.  I saw two threads about AT&T.  Basically, everyone who ordered iphone 5s a few weeks after the release got back ordered.  And a lot of them said that they asked to cancel the order, and AT&T said it couldn't be cancelled until the phone was delivered, but some were persistent and finally found someone to cancel, and then they ordered one from Apple and got it within a week.  But I looked at the apple store online, and they are shipping 2 - 3 weeks, so it might not be any faster.

So, here I am with my blue tween phone that every once in a while crashes.  And I'm still waiting for my bank account to be charged for the iphone at any minute.  They said that it would not be debited until it ships.  So that could be now or any time in the next several months.  So I just have to act like that money is not in my account at all.

Fuck you AT&T!!!!

ROTFLAPIMP

So.... you all know what my biggest fear is, right?  Like what would be my most embarrassing moment.  If you've been following this blog, you should know.  If not......

It's shitting myself in public.  Like sharting or diarrhea.  I have all these digestive/bowel issues which seem to be IBS.  Even though I think IBS is a name they came up with for varying digestive issues that couldn't fit into a specific diagnosis.  You know, I've been taking probiotics, and let's just say that I've had to ease off on those because, well... they are having the reverse effect now...

Anyhoo, that is neither here, nor at work.  I guess I'm just self centered and I need to talk about myself before I talk about someone else.

So, do you want to hear the very embarrassing moment my coworker had today?

Oh, no.  Ok.  I guess I will stop here then.




Ha ha ha.  You wish.  But, I have to tell this story.  So, as you know, because you follow this blog, Sundays are horrible for me.  Ok, that's an exaggeration.  Sunday is my most unfavorite day of work.  It's long and grueling and I have to work in cramped close quarters with my two male coworkers, who give me about 3 square feet of space on the hot line.

So, anyway, when we had a break in the tickets, the one of them, let's call him Fish Drop, because he dropped the last piece of salmon the other day, had to go to the bathroom.  He was gone for a little while.  When he came back, the other cook, Air Jordan (he has this like Air Jordan tattoo on his arm), asked if he had gone to smoke, because Air Jordan wanted his smoke break.  Fish Drop told him that he didn't get a chance to smoke because he had to take a shit, which he had said he had to take since 9 am.

Fast forward to, oh, maybe an hour later.  So, Fish Drop walks by me, and I see something flapping from the back of his pants.  It was like 8 inches long.  I thought it was a kitchen towel, but it was too flimsy.  Then I thought it was paper towel, because the FP sometimes puts paper towels in his back pants pocket.  See, cooks hold towels folded over their apron strings, so the FP, in lieu of apron strings will stick a paper towel back there when like cleaning or something.  Yeah, it's kind of weird.

But getting back to Fish Drop, and the thing in his back of his pants.  You know where I'm going with this.  So, I was looking at it to figure what it was.  And then I did.  So, I took a split second to not laugh but figure out how to tell him.  So I said, put your hand on your pants...on the back of your pants.  So he grabbed the toilet paper hanging out of his pants and looked at it and looked at me and grabbed it and stuffed it into the slim jim garbage can next to him.  Right as that happened I started laughing hysterically.  And right as I started laughing hysterically, our chef turned the corner and asked what's so funny.  I just looked at him and continued my involuntary convulsive giggles.  Fish Drop just said, oh nothing.  I guess I looked at the garbage or Chef saw Fish Drop throw the toilet paper in the garbage, because Chef went over to the garbage can to look in.

He saw the toilet paper and he began to crack up too.  The two of us were like giggling fools.  I was laughing so hard my face hurt.  Fish Drop's explanation was that he had gone to the bathroom a half an hour ago (but I'm pretty sure it was longer than that).  I don't know how no one had noticed that whole time.  His pants tend to fall, so he probably had them pulled up, and then as they slowly fell the TP came out of his bung hole.  I'm glad I didn't see the TP in the garbage.  Because there had to be shit on it, right?!

Even now, as I sit on the couch alone, with the Steeler game on, and the FP already in bed.  I chuckle to myself.

And my butt feels tingly.     

Slacking

I kind of feel under the weather.  The other day, I felt like total shit.  Then I got a neti pot and used it.  I felt much better.  But, I can feel congestion in my lungs sometimes, and my sinuses feel kind of yucky several hours after the neti pot.  So, I spent more time than usual on the couch catching up on TV and stuff.  And I finally folded most of the laundry.

Most of it.

It's the little things

I didn't blog yesterday.  In case you don't follow Reuters new service.

Anyhoo, I didn't feel like blogging.  It's not a job.  So, if I don't feel like blogging, then most of the time I don't.  Yesterday was a bad day.  I was feeling like I had caught the cold from my boss.  Don't even think about making sexual innuendo jokes, because he's a big ass danish man.  And that's weird.  I also found out a good friend got laid off due to some bullshit corporate restructuring or something.  Oh, and then there's the whole sordid tale with the FP's dad and his frequent stay card in the hospitals of the United States.  He's been in more hospitals that states that I've visited.

So, we were not a happy household last night.

So, I just wanted to take this time to shed some light on some positive things.

Not like me, is it?  Well, when times are tough, the sarcastic ones make jokes.  When times are really tough, they start trying to find the bright side of things.

So, let's not focus on how many paragraphs I've started with "So" because we are focusing on positive light.

So, let's list the little things in life that make me happy, in no specific order.

1. The Fuzz - she's so damn adorable, that every time I see her little pointy face and that fluffy tail, I gasp.  Ok, not every time, but some times.

2.  Stinksy - let's focus on the good... He loves the big flower pot of catnip that's in the lanai, and he loves to curl up in it and squarsh the catnip plant.

3.  When the FP has a day off - I'm so happy for him.  (Not when I have a day off because, it's the little things we're talking about here)

4.When I prep something and it works out just right.  Like say, I make a dressing, and there is just enough to fit into a squeeze bottle or some other container.

5. When I wake up in the morning and realize that I had the foresight to brew a pot of coffee the night before, and get another pot ready to brew.  Because, yeah, we're pretty much going on one pot each in the morning now.  That's 6 servings a pot.

6.  When I find an episode of The Big Bang Theory that I've never seen.  Sometimes, sometimes, it happens.

7.  When Rudy wants to play fetch.  He never does, so it's exciting when he's up for it.

8. When I have a good night's sleep without sleep aids.  Which is rare.  Or maybe that is a big thing, not a little thing, but, I'm going to keep it here.

9. dog shaming - if you don't know this website, then look it up

10. i can has cheezburger? - I know you've seen this lolcats website, an oldie but goodie!

11. and then cuteoverload.com

g'night all - especially you, Reuters reporters out there in newslandia!

Isn't it a shame

That I need gas for my car, and that I have flatulence, and that I can't just fart into my gas tank?

What a day!

Whew!!  Sometimes a day at work is easier than a day off.  Today was a roller coaster.

But, here's the real disturbing news about the day.  Sometime in the day, I walked into the living room and I noticed that the front door was open.  When I went to investigate, I noticed that The Fuzz was standing out on the porch.  And so I went out to herd her in, and that's when I saw Stinksy, of course.  Stinksy was more difficult to get in than The Fuzz.

What makes it even more disturbing, is that there microchips expired, and I need to renew their plan in case they run away.  And they both are currently not wearing tags of any sort.

If that weren't disturbing enough, later today, they kept running out back into the backyard.  The screen door to the lanai is ripped, and it needs to be repaired.  So there's an open hole for them to go in and out.  So we kept chasing them in, but they kept sneaking out in front of us.

Here's what is the most disturbing.  Tonight, when it was time to get everyone in from the lanai and lock the back door, The Fuzz wasn't having it.  She stood by the back door and meowed her head off to be let outside for like half an hour.  She was trying to open the door.  If you know The Fuzz, you know this is very uncharacteristic of her.

So, yeah, I do need to renew their microchip registration, and I need to fix the screen door.  And we need to fix the front door handle so the door stays closed even if it's not locked.  So, yeah, I know it's my fault.

Express Blog Tonight

All I can say is that The Fuzz stepped all across my keyboard, and now the settings are all weird.  The browser size is strange and the font is different... And when I tried to type in the title of the blog, the g kept moving a space over....

Weird.  I didn't know Fuzz was so technologically sophisticated!  You'd never know to look at her.

Woo Hoo For Wine!

I got a coupon for $20 off purchase of $100 at the wine store. We spend close to that every week, if you say $11 a six pack every night... So it made sense.

Anyhoi, I came home and thought that white wine sounded refreshing. And it was. And it helped me shake off the day of work. And maybe if I try, I can begin to enjoy alcohol more often again like I used to. Let's just admit it I'm more fun when I drink.

OMG, I'm like Schmidt!

Do I watch too much TV and read too much into sitcoms maybe?

Do I overanalyse stuff too much....

Yes and yes!

Anyhoo, I just finished catching up on the latest episode of New Girl.  Love that show.  I love all the characters, really.  So, if you haven't seen the latest episode, there are new young neighbors, and Jess and Schmidt try to hang with them.  They end up loving Jess and hating Schmidt.  But Schmidt wants them to like him and tries too hard.

Ok.  I don't usually try too hard to get people to like me.  But, I know what it's like to be older and not have the younger kids want to hang out with me.  That's what I feel like at work.  I am even older than my chef!  So, all the cool servers always ask the other cooks what they are doing and if they want to go for drinks later, but they never really ask me.

Ok, a long time ago when we first started doing brunch, that crew asked me once or twice, and I said I couldn't because I had to pick up my dog and spend quality time with him.

But, it's kind of weird to be one of the people who don't get invited to go out.

I did get invited to go to a party on a Sunday night, but I was so dead tired, and the FP was watching the Steeler game, that there was no way we were going.

But, I just have to find a new way to make friends.  I can't always only have friends that I work with.  That gets fucked up anyway, when you want to do something and everyone wants to take off for it.

So, whatever.  I've always been an introverted nerd.

It's just that, I'm not used to being invisible anymore.

Out of sorts

I have a horrible memory... and this has partially led to my OCDness.  I have to do things in a certain way to make sure I don't fuck them up.  It's all about preparing ahead for what I will surely forget.  Have you seen that movie Memento, where the guy leaves himself notes and tattoos stuff on himself? I can totally relate to that.  I sometimes basically don't know how I got to where I ended up.  

Anyhoo, long intro.  So, what happened this morning was, I had my street clothes already packed in my bag for work.  Usually, I have to root through the laundry pile that lives in the sink to come up with something.  Then I throw it all in a plastic grocery bag in my work bag.  

But, on Wednesday, I drove straight home with my work clothes on because I just wanted to get home to my family.

So, this morning, my routine was all out of whack, on account on not having to pack my bag.  So I thought.  I got to work, and I went into the bathroom to put on my work shirt, when I realized that I didn't pack it.  I had my work shirt sitting on top of my work pants, but I never put it in my bag with the other clothes.

Doh!!!

So, all I had were two small v neck T shirts and a wife beater.  So, I put on the wife beater underneath my purple v neck, so I would have a longer shirt under.

Then I went into the dry storage area to check the T shirt box for a T Shirt.  There was one 2XL shirt. Man's 2XL, of course.  It would be a dress on me.  And while I used to wear gigantic shirts in college, I don't think my employers would appreciate a gigantic shirt at work.  So, I figured, I would wait for them to get in, and see if they had a shirt or really wanted me to go home and change.

Being OCD, this made me edgy.  I kept doing my prep, but I kept looking at the clock, thinking if I would have time to go home if I were asked to.

I seemed to be ok on time when I started to make the biscuit dough for the weekend.  I hate making it, because it doesn't feel great using my hands to cut the butter into the flour.  I did get a cheap pastry blender, but it didn't really help, so unless I break down and get a nice pastry blended, I have to use my hands and not worry about how it makes my hands feel like claws after.  I was cutting in the butter, when I noticed the dough was awful white.  And then, I noticed, it was grainy.

I was using rice flour instead of AP flour.  I had done this once before, a long time ago, and I didn't notice until I baked the biscuits and they came out weird - dry and crumbly.  

So, I had wasted my time, and the ingredients.  We have been short on rice flour because the flour we had been getting from the supplier kept coming in with weevils in them.  So, I killed all this rice flour that we needed for the weekend.  And I ended up taking almost an hour just to make biscuit dough.

Stupid stupid stupid!!!

Anyway, the owner, the cult leader, my boss, walked and saw that I didn't have a work shirt on, but he didn't say anything.  

Later on, I asked him if he had a T shirt in his car, and he said, "Why, you look fine?"  

To which I responded, "I'm not in the uniform."

He said, "I figured you had a good reason for not wearing it.  It's fine.  You have bigger arm muscles than Manny over here."  

It still made me feel weird.  Like I was too comfortable in my T shirt.  The sleeves were shorter, exposing my tattoos and my said guns... which must have been distracting for all my coworkers.  One server asked, was it casual Friday?

Anyway, if you want to fuck with me, take away one of my pillows, put my eyeglasses case on a different shelf, change the order of my cooler mise en place, change the time I have to go into work, any little deviation in my routine totally throws my day or life out of whack.  

So, now you know.  You might observe a habit and see me as being anal.  Really, I'm just trying to keep my shit together.  It's always ready to spin out of control at the slightest movement.

postscript -

LMAO!!! Here is a prime example.  I just went to tag and publish this post, when I realized that I almost posted it on The Pork Porn Pages instead of Unnecessary Supplement!  I haven't written on the Pork Porn Pages in so long, that I automatically thought I was on the Unnecessary Supplement page... silly me... DOH!

Pricks

I was walking Rudy at the beach this morning.  He was jerking on the leash, so I jerked him a little, and I stabbed myself in the thumb with a cactus.  It's kind of funny, because when we first passed by the cacti, I told Rudy that those were prickers and he didn't want to get stabbed by them.  I guess he showed me.

Then, later, I was trimming the nonflowering bougainvillea.  I had Rudy hooked to the house with the three leashes.  That was just enough lead so he could go a little onto the grass if he wanted or needed.

So, when I was trimming the bougainvillea, of course he wanted to "help".  He was all in it.  Once again, I tried to pull the trimmings away from Rudy, so he wouldn't get pricked, and I pricked my hand.

Figures.

Rudy is a prick.

Not really, he's just a puppy.  Just a puppy who kept challenging Stinksy's right to lay on the bed.  Rudy kept jumping on the bed and barking at Stinksy, but Stinksy held his ground.

In other happenings of the day, I put my bra on backwards.  How is that possible?  I wear mostly sports bras.  They are easier for work, and you can get a 3 pack for cheap at Walmart or Target.  And, my bra size is always sold out when I'm looking for the more traditional cup bra.  So, also, I swear my tits are shrinking.  Like, if it weren't for my pointy nipples, I wouldn't ever bother with a bra.  Anyway, I had my swimsuit on this afternoon.  And I needed to go to the store, so I had to change.  I just threw some clothes on.  Later, I went to change for the evening walk with Rudy, I noticed that the bra was on backwards when I looked in the mirror.  So, obviously, it didn't even feel weird.  Why even bother with a bra?

I know why kids get fat

because they were annoying their parent(s), so it's easier to distract and entertain with food.

My babysitter was the TV and food.  Luckily for me and my doctor mom, I had the hyperactive skinny gene as a kid.

Anyway... I used food to stop Rudy from annoying me tonight.  We were trying to watch Breaking Bad.  The FP was eating popcorn right after Rudy ate his dinner.  So, Rudy was trying to eat the FP's popcorn.  So, it was my job to distract him with the laser light game.  But, the FP was taking forever to eat the popcorn.  And Rudy kept coming back to him to try to get the popcorn.  So, finally, I got out the deer antler.  And he went away and he stopped jumping on the couch and stuff.  He was just scraping his teeth on that antler.

It's kind of gross and weird when you think about it - a dog chewing on a deer antler.  Do hunting dogs see antlered game and think, "yum, I can't wait to chew on one of those antlers!"

Why is that not as weird as chewing on, say, a cow bone?  I guess because I don't eat antlers.

Anyhoo, it seems like a lot of dog toys are really about getting them entertained by themselves without human interaction.  Not all of them, but a lot.  And they make a disclaimer on the package by saying that the dog should be supervised when chewing on the plastic bone or whatever.  Right.  A plastic bone is so a dog will sit quietly while mommy or daddy is at work or busy.

So, I'm glad I don't have kids.  They would be fat and have all kinds of behavioral and social issues.  And The Fuzz probably wouldn't like all the disturbance all the time.

Did you know?

That there's a new ipod touch?

I didn't.  It seems to have come out sometime recently, I think.  And it's cooler looking than the new iphone.  Well, it's smaller of course, and it's thinner and rounder, and it comes in fun colors.  And it has a detachable strap.

Is there not a strap for the iphone?  It seems like there should be, right?

And why doesn't the new iphone5 to 30 pin adapter support video output?  That kind of blows.

And what's the deal with the ipad mini anyway?  Why would you want it to be smaller?  I don't really get it.  Unless its cheaper.  But it would have to be cheaper than an iphone... because why have an iphone and something a little bigger than an iphone too?

And why don't they just make the macbook pros with touchscreens anyway?

I don't get it.

And Rudy needs to wind it down already.  It's bedtime for fuck's sake.

I can't even begin to explain my day to you

But here goes....

One coworker has been out of town since Thursday, so I worked 6 days this week.  I worked yesterday instead of being off, which almost seemed like a waste because we were pretty slow.

So, today, even though I knew there wasn't too much prep, I went left to go to work early, like I always do on Sundays.  I had to drop Rudy off at Petropolis Park, which means I had to drive down 26th street.  Which means I had to go through the roundabout on Hollywood Blvd.  At the circle, I had a red light, so I waited for it to turn green.  As I went around the circle, I looked for other cars.  I saw one car as I was turning the corner, a cop car, but it was still a little far, so I kept going.  And then I went all the way to the right to make the turn.

And then the cop car lights turned on.  I stopped at the first driveway after the turn.  I turned off the music.  And the few seconds before the police woman approached the car, I thought about what I did wrong and how much Rudy was going to bark.

He barked a lot.  I rolled the window down a crack as he barked.  The police woman asked me if I knew what yield meant.  I said yes.  She said, then why didn't you yield.  I said that I didn't see her until I was already turning.  To this she replied, then when I saw her I should have yielded.  Then she kept yelling at me about how I just could have cost myself a $200 ticket, and some other stuff.  I couldn't really hear everything she said, because Rudy was barking his head off.

Fair enough.  I guess I fucked up.  My judgement was off.  She pulled away.  And then I started to cry.  This week had been enough of an emotional roller coaster, and this incident was the icing, the colored jimmies, and the cherry on top of my cake.

Peachy.  And then I had to put the car in drive, drop off Rudy, and then go into work for a day that was sure to be stressful as fuck.

So, I got to work and started doing my stuff.  The chef showed up right around 8.  About 5 minutes later, he said, "I bet this will be the day that ____ (the other cook) sleeps in.  So, a couple more minutes pass, and he says, "should I call him now?"  I told him to give it a few more minutes.  He gave it 10 - 15 minutes, and then he went outside to try to call.

Meanwhile, I was taking my biscuits out of the oven.  I went to transfer them to a smaller pan, and then I was going to put them on the shelf where they go for service.  This is the shelf next to the hot line where all the plates, metal and plastic pans and utensils go.  There was a lot of shit on the shelf, so I was pushing everything over, when something fell, and poked my eye.  I was unsure what had happened - I was stunned.  I reached out, and felt the pasta basket hanging.  I grabbed it, but it was stuck.  I reached up to my eye, and realized it was hooked somehow into my top eyelid.  I tried to unhook it as calmly as possible, and it came out.  I looked at the hook.  One of the wires on the bottom of the basket had broken and formed a little hook.

A little hook that had caught my eye!

I realized that I couldn't see properly out of this eye - my right eye.  I didn't want to feel around for the contact without a mirror.  I looked down on the ground and happened to miraculously spot my contact right where I had been standing.  So, I picked it up and ran for my bag.  I was pretty sure I had saline solution in my bag.  As I was grabbing the saline, one of the owners walked in the back door.  He said a cheery "Hi!".  I said "Hi" and then I pretty much ran to the bathroom.

I ran to the mirror.  Besides the artery that is permanently showing across my eye from wearing disposable contacts longer than I'm supposed to, I didn't see anything weird.  No blood, no bump on my eyelid, no scratch or open wound.  My eyelid was slightly tender, but nothing I would even notice if I didn't notice that I had just had a wire hook in my eye!

I rinsed my contact out very well, and then I put it back in my eye.  And I could see.

So, I went back into the kitchen and continued my work.  The chef said that the other cook had not answered his phone.  He asked if I was ok.  I said yes, and I think I said that I couldn't talk about it right then.

I mean, I was majorly freaked out!!! As I tell this story again, I still feel weak from reliving the ordeal.

After a while, the other cook called the chef and told him that he was on his way.

We were busy as hell.  But there were 4 of us working on the line, so everyone was all up in my business.  At one point they were all crowding me, putting english muffins on the plates, and putting shit on the english muffins that were on the orders that were supposed to go out later, not sooner.  So, I had to wait on my poached eggs and english muffins for the orders that needed to go out first, since they had already assembled the others, and I couldn't take an english muffin out from under short rib meat and put a crab cake or spinach on it....

Anyway, we got through the day, and my eye, besides the lid being a little tender, and my vision being slightly foggy at times, seems fine.  I use America's Best, so if my eye feels weird later, I suppose I can go in and have someone look at it without having to pay extra.  But we'll just see how I feel.

I need a fucking staycation!!!!!!!!!!

LOL... the chef just called me to ask what had happened.  The owner had told him that when he walked in I ran off crying.

What a fucking day.  I need a drink!!!!!

Phrases That Can Be Said By Your Angry Boss

You dump all this shit on me now!

Go ahead, just shit all over me like that!

Are you taking a piss or what?

I'm all backed up and you're not helping.

What are you, yanking my chain?

You just unload all your shit all on me, and I'm supposed to take care of it?

I don't care if you're on your period, it still gives you no right to take out all your bleeding problems on me!

Ok, you've been leaning on me long enough!

Are you ignoring me? Are you falling asleep on me?

Please wipe my seat after you've had your nasty ass on it!

You are not worthy to grace my throne!

I'm so sick of your shit!

I know your work, it stinks like a cesspool!


These are also phrases that could be said by your angry toilet!

Relax

Man, I forgot what one alcohol I can drink and drink more of than probably any other alcohol, and actually feel myself unwind -

SAKE!

Ahhhh, sake.  The alcoholic beverage that was developed specifically for me!

So, we went for sushi tonight - at the late time of 5:45pm!  And we really don't have money, so we shouldn't have been going for sushi.  But we went.  And the FP had a Sapporo.  I decided that Sake sounded good.  I could kind of see the beverage cooler from our table, so I said, "I'll have a water and the pink sake."

The pink sake wasn't the one I thought it was.  I thought it was Hakutsuru Sayuri Nigori.  Instead, it was Ozeki Hana Awaka.  It was a sweet sparkling sake.  Not quite what I was in the mood for, but I drank pretty much all of it.  It was kind of like sprite or something.  I mentioned how I thought that kids would love it!  I know, it's only got a ABV of 7%, but still, I'm such a lightweight nowadays.

Anyway, about 2/3 through my bottle, the FP asked me if I was feeling the sake.  I stopped to think about it.  I said, well, I'm happy and relaxed, and not stressed out about anything, so, yes, I am feeling it.  So, he said that he better drive home.

Man, I love sake.  Really, I do.  Now you know what to get me for my birthday!

Time Sensitive Material

I feel like I'm too sensitive.

Ok, I know that I'm too sensitive.  I'm sure that I would have gotten farther in life if I had tougher skin.  But that's part of the genetics that I involuntarily inherited from my father.

I feel like going into work every day, working in that small kitchen, in my little nook, like I'm going to erupt.

I know I've bitched about this stuff before, but you also don't have to read every single blog I write.  If you do, you're nuts!

I work with a big huge fat kid who doesn't move out of the way, throws hot pans across the room into the soapy water, bosses everyone around, throws tantrums, and he's the teacher's pet.  He's the chef's protege, and the chef is always concerned about if his pet is going to be in a good mood or not, and he's always trying to placate this big bully.

I'm almost twice this kid's age, and years more experience than him.  Yet, I'm trapped on pantry.  Everyone treats me like I just started working in a kitchen, which in turn drains any confidence I have, which makes me probably look like I just started working in a kitchen. 

I feel like I've regressed skillwise.  I can't make a simple lousy dessert without the chef saying how it just isn't right or needs something else, or whatever.  I try to make desserts based on what stuff we have that we need to get rid of.  And I try to do it between keeping up with my regular work.  And I end up making something that isn't acceptable or isn't what I would like to make.

What it really all comes down to, is that I didn't go into this business 14 or so years ago, to be in exactly the same position I was in my first kitchen job.  I'm not saying that pantry is really only an entry level position, like people like to classify it, but this job, with other cooks who I can't relate to, it is not the right job for me.  I feel so alienated from this place.  And that makes the paranoia creep in, like they are always evaluating me and are going to axe me at any minute.

Which, I would like to think is not true.  As far as I know, they give people several chances, and they let them know if they aren't happy with someone's performance... but I know that I'm not the best version of myself there.  I try to do what I can, but it's not enough.  I should know how to cook everything on the menu by now.  But sadly, I only know maybe half, or maybe even a third of the menu.  I tried to learn other stuff in the beginning, but I wasn't really given the opportunity to work the line, and I didn't push my way in.

So, here I am.  I've pretty much gotten to the end of my road at that job, because of which road I've decided to take.  So, I'm just going to camp out at the dead end of the road.  Hole up in my tent.  Sustain.  Build myself an outdoor latrine.  Try to keep a low profile, until the cops come and evict me.

Or, until that secret path out of the subdivision opens up for me.

I'm hoping for the secret path.

frustrated

I don't know why things have to be complicated like this.  Our friend is in West Palm Beach for the week, doing a nanny job for some rich family.  So, it's less than an hour away.  But I have to work until 4.  And the FP feels like his boss will call in sick or something will happen, and he will have to work.

And then there's Rudy.  He can go to daycare, but the one in Fort Lauderdale closes at 6:30.  The one in Hollywood closes at 9:30 for members, so we would have to purchase a pass to be members... and we would still have to watch the clock to make sure we made it back in time...

It's just ridiculous.  We're only an hour away, and it's awfully complicated to try to get away and see our friend!  Meanwhile, she's trying to plan it with her bosses, and I can't give her an exact time...

I'm sorry I don't have anything more interesting to blab on about, but I'm frustrated with Rudy, and I don't want to give him too much airtime as punishment.  Even though I've already written too much about him already.

But, I enjoy having the Fuzz hanging out next to me.  She's so quiet and sweet and nice to pet.  Even though she does usually smell like litter.....

There's been a fly

buzzing around the house all day.  It's so annoying.  Plus, a fly always gives me the willies that it might be the start of several flies, and that I will find maggots somewhere.

Or, it's just a lone fly.  I hope that gecko that Stinksy chased into the house catches it.

Do you know the fable about why flies buzz in your ear?  I remember there was a children's book about it.  Something about how the fly did something annoying, and then after he was buzzing in everyone's ear to ask them if they were still pissed at him.  Well, the story didn't use the word pissed, of course.

Anyway, there have been thoughts buzzing around in my head for days, months, years, decades... maybe even in a previous life.  The only way to let them out of my head is to actually cultivate them, let them come to fruition, or kill them.

The problem is, I have to sort out which ones to keep and which ones to throw out.  I get so ADD/OCD, that I have trouble focusing on one thing.

And what the hell is Rudy chomping on now!!!!1

Hope/Change

Well, the Fuzz is waving her tail in front of the computer screen, making it a little difficult to blog.  But, since I'm surely infected with toxoplasma gondii, I just think she's the cutest, and I don't mind.  In fact, I know I've not been giving her enough quality time because of a certain younger problem child who takes most of my attention away from his feline siblings.

Oh no, a damn moth is now trying to mate with the computer screen.  Unfortunately, rather than help me and eat the moth, Fuzz has chosen to move away from the situation.  I guess she's only into geckos now.

Anyway, I can't tell you much right now in the way of humorous happenings or good news or what have you.  But I'm trying to keep a positive outlook.  I want to move on.  I want my life to be lived to the full potential.  I can't just sit in the back seat while the car is just cruising in neutral.

But things must change.  There must be hope for the future.

No, I'm not running for president.  But I want to be positive.  I must be positive.  I can't worry that I only have one day off this week.  I should just enjoy the one day off and do what I can when I can to not feel like a spineless loser piece of shit, right?

Anyway... why is apple stock going down?  And can I see that viral video of the dog with the lemon, without Whoopie Goldberg's commentary?  I mean, I loved her in Burglar, and the only thing I remember about her in Ghost was that scene where she kissed Demi Moore, but I think the dog video would have been funnier if I could have watched it unadulterated.

And, I'm so sad about the mama duck who lost all her babies by the FP's work.  It's really all too sad to tell you about the whole story.  

Wait, wait, snap out of it.... hope and change.  Maybe the mama duck with have a heartier batch of ducklings next time, right?