I know why kids get fat

because they were annoying their parent(s), so it's easier to distract and entertain with food.

My babysitter was the TV and food.  Luckily for me and my doctor mom, I had the hyperactive skinny gene as a kid.

Anyway... I used food to stop Rudy from annoying me tonight.  We were trying to watch Breaking Bad.  The FP was eating popcorn right after Rudy ate his dinner.  So, Rudy was trying to eat the FP's popcorn.  So, it was my job to distract him with the laser light game.  But, the FP was taking forever to eat the popcorn.  And Rudy kept coming back to him to try to get the popcorn.  So, finally, I got out the deer antler.  And he went away and he stopped jumping on the couch and stuff.  He was just scraping his teeth on that antler.

It's kind of gross and weird when you think about it - a dog chewing on a deer antler.  Do hunting dogs see antlered game and think, "yum, I can't wait to chew on one of those antlers!"

Why is that not as weird as chewing on, say, a cow bone?  I guess because I don't eat antlers.

Anyhoo, it seems like a lot of dog toys are really about getting them entertained by themselves without human interaction.  Not all of them, but a lot.  And they make a disclaimer on the package by saying that the dog should be supervised when chewing on the plastic bone or whatever.  Right.  A plastic bone is so a dog will sit quietly while mommy or daddy is at work or busy.

So, I'm glad I don't have kids.  They would be fat and have all kinds of behavioral and social issues.  And The Fuzz probably wouldn't like all the disturbance all the time.