Hollow Weenie!

What's the Halloween equivalent of the Grinch?

Whatever it is... that's me.  I'm the grumpy old lady with the barking dog that doesn't open the door.  Ok, well, only one person tried to knock on the door around 9 pm, but still, I didn't open it.  And no, my porch light was not on.

It's ironic.  I used to have trouble going out on Halloween because I was working.  Now, I have nights off, and I can't go out because we have to work tomorrow morning.  The FP is in bed.  Sure, I could have gone out by myself to a coworker's party.  But I don't have the balls to go alone.  I don't hang out with my coworkers socially.  And I feel uncomfortable at parties if I'm not drinking.  And I can't drive to a party alone and drink more than a drink or two.  And that would not be enough to alleviate my social anxiety.

So, I'm staying in tonight and blogging instead.  I'm not really tired right now, so I'm not going to bed.  I kind of have a sleeping pill habit.  I took a half a sleeping pill tonight.  But I've been taking a half or a whole almost every night the past week or so.  The one night that I didn't take anything, I was pretty much up half of the night.  So, I got scared the next night and I took a sleeping pill again.  I am developing a tolerance of sleeping pills now, because I should be sleepy by now, but I'm not.

So, here we are.  I'm writing this, and you're reading it.  Yeah, I know.  Actually, I have already written it, and you are reading it.

I've had this tightness in my chest, and I feel like I've had fluid in my lungs since after those few days when I seemed to have a cold or sinus irritation or whatever.  It's getting to be annoying, but I don't really feel like going to a doctor and being told that it's nothing, or just allergies, and do I smoke and how much do I exercise.  Plus, I would have to find a clinic to go to, as I don't have one that I go to.  And I don't really know what my health insurance covers.

So, that's that.  Here I am.  Safe and dry, and with electricity.  And I'm going on about trivial things, when there are millions of people with much bigger problems than me, like a burnt down house, or no electricity, or a flooded house, or no public transportation to work.

But I guess that's life.