1 Week

Yes, it's been a whole week since we last rolled into sofla - sounds like a lazy couch or something.  What a week it's been.  Ups and downs and ups and downs and ups.  I can honestly say, I like it here.  I expect to be loving it here fairly soon.

Last night, when we went to bed, I smelled a poo smell.  I hate my weird sense of smell.  Dull for most smells, pretty perceptive for rank smells.  So, I was expecting a nice pile o cat shit.  I looked on the bed, and on the comforter.  Nothing.  I looked on the floor and on the suitcases under the bed where the cats like to sleep.  Nothing.  I tried to track down the smell.  I couldn't.  It was strong enough to not ignore, yet not a full on assult of the nose.  The FP didn't smell it at all.  Last resort, I sprayed the Febreeze everywhere.  I smelled my breath.  Fine.  I smelled my shorts.  Nothing.  I smelled my shirt.  Nothing.  But I changed my shirt anyway.  I wondered if it were outside?  Maybe someone's dog shat right under the window and even though the window was closed, maybe one could still smell it.  Or maybe someone shat in our air intake?   Or maybe it wasn't a poo smell, but rotting corpse.  Maybe there was a dead body stuffed in the mattress.  But it would And then I resorted to the ghost explanation.  A mischievous ghost fucking with me?  I know, that's just weird.  I basically fell asleep an hour or two later out of exhaustion.  The case of the phantom poo smell.

After laying awake for a while trying to figure where it would be, I woke up and didn't smell it at first.  After a while, I thought I smelled it, but not as strongly.  So, I washed all the sheets and febreezed the hell out of the room and searched again.  There are strange stains on the rented bed that I really don't want to discuss right now.

It's probably not as bad as the $25 beds my bff and I bought from the landlord when we moved into our first apartment.  We had been ratted on by our roommate for having illegal guinea pigs, so we were allowed to sever our dorm lease.  So we found a cheap ass apartment near campus in an area called Frenchtown.  Sounds nice, huh?  Well, the more appropriate nickname was Cracktown.  I don't remember if we made it up or if it was true, that there had been a murder in the complex.  Anyhoo, there were some college kids living there - we weren't the only ones.  Actually, people that lived there were pretty nice.  Anyway, we had just moved from a dorm, so we didn't have any furniture.  So, the landlord told us we could have these 2 crappy twin beds for $25 each.  I don't think he ever actually cashed our checks though, so they were free.  Funny.  I had that bed for a while.  Until a friend needed to trade his double bed for a twin, so we switched.  Score for me.  Scary unknown Frenchtown apartment bed for him.

I have to tell myself stories like this to show that my living situation could be way worse.  At least I'm not homeless, right?  At least I have electricity, running water, and CABLE TV and high speed INTERNET!!!!    

But if the poo were coming from the mattress, I would have smelled it before.    I don't understand.  I haven't looked behind the apartment, because I don't really want to go back there.  But if there is shit back there, it will lose it's potency as it ages, right?  I don't know.

So, I don't know.   I can't smell it right now.  But what happens when I go to bed?  Am I going to smell it tonight?  Man, I hope not.  I am going to have to drink enough to sleep.  I can't take nyquil, because that would just clear up my sinuses even more, then I would be able to smell the poo smell even more clearly.

I guess I'll have to go and lay in bed for a while to see if I can still smell the poo smell.  If so, it's got to be dealt with before bedtime.  It's not like I can sleep on the nasty couch!

Update:
 I could still smell the poo.  I looked at the suitcases again.  No poo.  I was about to take everything out from under the bed.  But first I made the FP smell.  He could smell the poo.  I wasn't insane.  So he got under the bed to look, and he found it.  it was between the suitcases and all the music stands under there. He grabbed the poo and wiped up under there with Mr. Clean.  No more poo!  Yay!  I can sleep soundly tonight.  As long as The Fuzz doesn't poo under there again.  And yeah, I'm positive it was The Fuzz.  She will shit and piss on the bed and then lie down right next to it.  She's gross like that.  No wonder Stinksy stopped going under the bed.  Because there was poo under there!