The Gas Chamber

So, as you know if you are a serial Unnecessary Supplement reader, I read a book that delves into the Holocaust and the occurrence yet lack of evidence of human skin lampshades.  So I got Nazi on the brain.  And then we went to the El Cajon Oktoberfest today.

So, when we were walking into the fest, there was a gate at the entrance, and there was a sign that said "Wilkommen" or something similar.  I made an "Arbeit Macht Frei" joke in reference to the entrance of Auschwitz of course.

So, we had to stand in lines to get stuff.  Stand in line for a food ticket, then stand in line for food.  Stand in line for a beer ticket, then stand in line for a beer.

So, we stood in four lines, then we sat at a checkered tablecloth covered table and ate our "ox on a spit" and "bratwurst".  So good, but I'm not going to go into it here, since I should save it for the food blog.

So, we just sat there and watched.  I asked if there were any Nazis there.  Anyone with a human skin lampshade.  Couldn't get the Nazi off the brain.  This guy seemed suspicious.

The FP wanted to have a cigarette, so we went to the smoking area, which happened to be this tiny fenced off area behind the port o potties.  It was like a small concentration camp.  And doesn't it seem a little dangerous to put the smokers near the port o potties that might start to fill up with dangerous explosive gases?

Later on, the place was pretty busy.  We were lucky to find two seats at the end of a table.  We were across from the ox on a spit ferris wheel of 4 hunks of spinning cow quarter.  Around the corner was the port o johns.  We were by an area of high traffic - people coming and going to the john, and people leaving the food line with their brats and ox.  Did I mention that it was rather warm out there in El Cajon?  The FP mentioned, right as I noticed, that it smelled like sewage or farts or burps or food.  It was probably a mix of all the above, as all four came from the same sources.  You eat the meaty food, and then you burp and it smells like the meaty food, and then you fart and it smells like meaty shit, and then you shit and it smells like shit with meat nuances.  And it all wafts around under the mesh tent, mixing assaulting the nose, really overtaking the olfactory system.  If the tent were more enclosed, it would have been like a deadly gas chamber.

I gotta say, as we drove home, our own flatulence started up, and it smelled just like it did in the tent.  Meaty gas.  We had to turn the air up and roll down the windows so we wouldn't die of gas poisoning.

Anyway, I can't talk about bratwurst fart the whole blog entry, can I?  So, we're going to explore the creative cursing book that Canine Cologne gave me the other day.  It's got two columns of notecards that you just mix and match.  Let's randomly do a few, shall we?

ass bagger
ass flaps
ass waffle (std?)
ass eater (extra dressing on the side please)
ass bucket (for when you're in a 3rd world country I guess)
ass dangler
fuck hole (like a glory hole)
fuck beater
fuck twister
fuck junkie
fuck jammer
fuck packer
cock nugget ( get it checked!)
cock boner (no duh)
cock basket (like a basket of cocks or a cock with the skin pulled into the shape of a basket?)
cock biscuit (like a cat making biscuits?)
cock jockey
cock pooper (hm....)
'gina monkey
'gina pincher (pap smear I guess)
'gina glob
'gina slime (yum)
'gina muncher
'gina gargler (yeah, clean it out gooood)
granny wrangler (round em up at the bingo)
granny wipe
granny lover
granny booger
granny jockey (ride er)
granny junkie
cooch donkey (they do that in Tijuana)
cooch dangler
cooch shitter (poopy Pedro)
cooch twister (sounds painful)
cooch clot (better go to the gynecologist)
cooch jammer
cooch fungus (again, the gynecologist, stat)
sack wanker (sounds painful)
sack muncher (painful again)
sack nugget (clean that shit)
sack biter (again, painful)
sack chomper (really?)
sack pooper (are you shitting on my balls?)
pube monster


G'night all!