I got a crab

So, we live in South Florida. It's like a jungle down here! Big huge green lizards, big blue iguana like lizards, curly tailed lizards, and land crabs too!

We live about a quarter mile from the canals, yet there it was, a crab in our backyard.

We were hanging out in the lanai (not a Florida room according to wikipedia: sunroom) when we heard a scratching against the wall.  I was scared it was a rat or something.

But I looked out, and lo and behold, it was not a rat!

So, I wasn't sure what to do.  The crab with the huge claw couldn't just hang out in the backyard.  If Rudy would see it, he would surely go up to it and probably get a claw in the nose...

So, I decided to put it in the big stock pot and just put it outside the fence somewhere away from our backyard.  I got the pot and a spatula to wrangle it in.  Then I put on my rain boots, because I didn't want to get pinced.

So I walked out to get the crabby crabberson, and it was gone!  I looked around the backyard and I couldn't see it.  So, I just hoped one of us didn't stumble into it later....

Towels

So, I don't know about you, but I use towels more than once.  I don't live at the Ritz.

Let's think about what we use them for.  To dry off our clean bodies right.  Do you take note of what part of the towel you use to wipe your face, your chest, your groin, your ass?

Well, I try to.

But just think about it.  How clean is your ass?  Guys, how clean is your taint?  And then the next time you use your towel, are you wiping your face with the part of the towel that you used previously for your ass or taint?

Think about it....

Searching the Web

I'm watching The Weather Channel, while searching the internets for news of beloved Nola and the gulf coast area.  The few people that I could contact, I don't want to waste their phone charge by texting them.  Hopefully everyone is safe and sound.

When I look at the photos from the times picayune website I know that each individual house has it's own fate.  One house on any given street could be fine, while the house next door could be in shambles.

We don't need to bring up the whole Katrina thing, do we?  It's the 7 year anniversary.  And for some people, this little cat 1 hurricane is turning out to be worse than Katrina.

Go figure.

It's so sad that I'm so helpless and really I don't know what exactly is going on up there.

I do see a lot of pictures of flooding and downed trees and power lines.  And I know that a ton of gulf coast residents are without power.  But really, what else do I know?  Not much else.

I'm so sad for that beautiful, old, dark, sunny, humid, crazy, tough, maddening, dangerous place that's forever in my heart.  But at the same time, I can't imagine living there and still having to deal with that worry.  I assume if we still lived there, or if we had moved back, we would have bought a house there.  I can't imagine what it would be like to prepare for a hurricane in New Orleans in a house that I owned.  When we used to prepare for hurricanes back in the day, we were never prepared.  We usually just tried to buy enough booze and smoked oysters to last us a couple days, but it usually only lasted a day or two tops.  We never once boarded one window.  We never sandbagged.  We never had a generator.  We were so unprepared.

I just can't imagine.

Let's Give Him Something To Bark About

Who sang that song, Bonnie Raitt or someone?

Yes.  I just googled it.  I'm not sure why I know that.

Anyway, this whole training the dog to not bark is difficult.

Unlike the way I was raised to keep my emotions internalized, my dog likes to try to express his emotions as best he can.

So, if he is feeling protective or insecure when someone comes near us, he barks.  I've been trying to ideally use "leave it" before he barks, and "no" and a chain jerk if he is barking.  But, in the heat of the moment (heat of the moment, telling you what your heart meant - Asia) I might get them mixed up, making for not the best trainer and confusing him.

But I'm trying.

Anyhoo, I've been bugging the FP about taking Rudy out to a bar and see how he does.  I mean, there has to be a first time if it can ever become a regular thing, right?  So, we did.  We took him to Jimbo's Sandbar.  It's this cool tiki hut dive bar on the intracoastal with tons of outdoor space.  So, we thought we could take Rudy to a corner of the place and try it out.   It was kind of away from everyone else.  But there was this big tall monster truck parked in the lot next to the table.  I feared that it was a little too close to us, and that the guy (I assumed a guy owned it) who owned it would walk right by us, and that if he left when we were there it would be so loud it would scare the shit out of Rudy.

Rudy was anxious on the drive there.  He didn't know where we were going.  We should have walked him around the neighborhood before we took him to the bar.

He was ok at first.  He wanted to go walk around and familiarize, but he was confined to the table area.  He was just looking.  I had a bagful of treats to divert his attention from barking... he was doing ok.

Then this shirtless redneck guy standing at the bar with his back to us started dancing.  And Rudy started barking at him all the way across the place.  So, I had to calm him down with a treat.  Then, later, the bartender was dancing a little when she was walking to a table, and Rudy started barking.  Then he started barking at every person that walked in his field of vision.  I was just feeding him nibble of treat after treat.  I had brought these duck jerky treats that were formed with a "skin" to look like a slim jim, but they were dry dehydrated flaky meat inside.  There was meat dust everywhere on the table.  And water too.  It reminded me of when people take their kids out to a restaurant, and the table is a mess by the end of the meal.

Then, my biggest fear happened.  The guy who owned the obnoxious monster truck was going to his car.  Rudy just went nuts barking like crazy.  I mean crazy!  The guy looked at him menacingly and rather than ignore him and walk away, he got closer.  Then he wanted to engage Rudy, and Rudy wanted no part of it, just a part of him in his mouth.  The guy insisted that once Rudy smelled his hand (which is what you do with dogs, hoping they won't decide to bite, of course) he would be fine.  Rudy quieted when the man offered his hand, then he started barking again.  The guy insisted again, that Rudy wanted to play, but that he was just protective.  He could tell that Rudy wanted to play because his tail was wagging.

Can I just tell you, a wagging tail does not automatically mean playtime!!!!!

I thought that was something that people who know about dogs know.  But this guy allegedly raised "racing dogs" - I think that was a euphemism for fighting dogs, but raising racing dogs is not admirable either.

Anyway, he was totally antagonizing Rudy, and Rudy was very unhappy.  He stepped on my pinky toe trying to get away from the guy, and it broke the skin.  Finally, the FP had the common sense to take Rudy and go for a walk.  But even then, the guy wanted to follow them and try to interact with Rudy.  But he kept barking.  He barked so much that he started to foam at the mouth.

We were embarrassed.  And crestfallen.  We had had such a great walk that morning by the beach.  He didn't bark at anyone, he was happy, and we jogged most of the way.  And now this.

We got the check and we bared through it as he tried to bark every time a server came back to the table.  I ran out of treats in my ziploc bag, so I had to go to the car to get more.  And then he ate all of that.   The FP was very generous with the small tab and tipped like 100% so that they would welcome us back, even though they were very nice about all the commotion that Rudy caused.  Some people at the bar even told the FP that Rudy was a good judge of character, because that guy who riled Rudy up was an asshole.

I was going to have to rethink my going -to- the- bar -with -Rudy treat selection.  Maybe a more chewy dense treat - a jerky type thing, or pig ear or something.  Not rawhide of course, because he goes beserk with rawhide and likes to chew those in private.  I stopped giving him those because he almost bit me when I gave him one.  He also thought he was boss and wanted to chew the rawhide on the bed, where he knows he is not allowed.  We would also have to scrutinize our table selection, and figure out how to handle Rudy while someone came up to the table to take our order or deliver a beer or something.

Anyway, that was Rudy's first trip to the bar.  Hopefully it will get better but not too painfully, right?!?!

EWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm sorry I am so distracted.

The Fuzz's poo smells so horrible that it makes me gag.  I mean it's disgusting.

So, the FP and I were on the couch.  Rudy was on the floor by the couch snoozing.  And I hear scratching in the litter box.  And Rudy hears it too.  But the FP was asleep.

And then the stink.  And then the horrible stench.

Here's the horrible part.  I felt like I was going to throw up.  I mean really spew chunks.
And of course, it excited Pavlov's Dog.  He perked up and got up.  The Fuzz ran out of the litter box.  Rudy was headed for the litter box.  But, I cut him off and scooped the poop.  Even with covering it up it still was just a smell that you expect to find at the garbage dump.  Dump being the operative word.

So, yeah.  Cute fuzzy animal = big horrible stink.

Out of the dark ages

So, I didn't blog yesterday because I didn't have cable or internets!

We were experiencing the effects of Isaac, yesterday.  So, while the power didn't go out, the cable did.  We had come home from work hoping to get on the internet and watch updates on the TV, and nada.

I tried to find a phone number for our cable - Xfinity - and on my primitive web browser on my phone, it was difficult.  So the FP had to look on his iphone.  And he found the number in a couple minutes.  So, he got the recorded message that said we should have our service back up by 11pm.

!11PM!!!!!

Needless to say, we were in bed snoozing way before the cable came back on.

Can I tell you though, how lonely and out of touch I felt?  I know, it's sad and losery.  But, that's the truth.  We don't have friends here.  We don't know our neighbors.  We don't have any "things" that we are a part of.  We don't even have a bar where we are regulars.  And as you know, I don't really talk on the phone.

So, the internet and the TV are my window to the outside world.  Sad?  Yes?  But true.

I remember when we were young and irresponsible and had friends and had bars down the street that we could walk to.  And we would wade to the bar.  We didn't do that yesterday.  Of course, we got home around 7pm.  So, we hung out in the lanai for an hour, then we had dinner, and we were in bed by 9ish.  So sad.

And now I just realized that the cable was out during Breaking Bad, so the DVR didn't record it! :(

Not a big deal, since I can get it on demand.  But it's sad.

We got off easy.  I just hope the gulf coast does too.

I should have played cello

When I was in grade school, my parents made me take piano lessons - that's a given because I'm Filipina.  When there was an option to take Orchestra in 5th and 6th grade, my parents pushed me to join.  My two sisters were both in orchestra.

But for whatever reason, I had my mind set on playing saxophone. There was no band at my school.  Not until 7th grade.  My parents reasoned that I could learn a stringed instrument and then switch to band in 7th grade.  That's what my middle sister did.

But I didn't want to bother with a stringed instrument.  Couldn't I start with private lessons and play sax?  So, in 6th grade, we got a sax from the local music store, and I began taking lessons.

But later on in life, with my deep dark sense of beauty, I began to love the sound of the cello.  I thought, why didn't I play cello?

When I hear a piece of music with cello in it, I think, why didn't I take up cello?

But I have my sax.  Yeah, it's pretty.  But I never play it, so I can't play anything exciting on it.

And I know, that if I had a cello, I probably wouldn't play that either.

We do have a midi controller.  And I could plug it into the computer and find a cello.  And I could play that, and it would be good enough to fill my cello void.

But I don't do that either.

Instead, I just sit here on the couch and whine to you about why I never took up the cello.

Oh well.  We may be getting a storm.  That's what I'm obsessing about currently.

Catch Up

So, we are anticipating the first storm system since we moved down here to the tip of the wang.

Okay, so it probably isn't supposed to hit here, but we should get some rain at any rate.

In light of that, I thought I would clean up my DVR as best I could - you know, in the event the cable goes out or the DVR somehow gets erased...

So, here's what's on the DVR, can you guess which stuff is mine and which is the FP's?

Dan Le Batard Is Highly Questionable (funny sports show)

20/20 On ID - The Romeo Rapist (documentary about a serial killer that trolled internet dating sites for targets)

Fatal Attraction/Hitler

Portlandia 2 episodes (hilarious sketch comedy series produced by Lorne Michaels)

Locked Up Abroad (awesome first person accounts - be them exaggerated or not - of people captured in a country other than their own)

Lost Girl (brain candy - so bad for you!)

Breaking Bad (one of my most favorite drama series ever)

Your Body On Drugs (about how your body is affected by drugs)

Rudy (not the whole movie - but enough to see the great ending when the whole stadium chants, Rudy, Rudy)

Wilfred (hilarious series with the Lord of The Rings Hobbit and a man dressed in a dog suit)

Monster's Ball (never seen it)



So, I am going to have to cut this blog entry short, as I am watching Lost Girl....

Hemming and Hawing

That's what Rudy is doing.  It's 8:47pm, and he seems to be miffed that he is cooped up in the bedroom with us.  He was whining and barking when he was in the crate, so the FP relented and let him out into the bedroom.  But then he was whining at the door.

I know what you're thinking, "Maybe he has to go to pee pee or poo poo."  Maybe.  But, the go potty signal is more of a desperate bark.  Not so much a whiney barky thing...

And it's been several minutes that he's been asleep on the carpet.

So, now the FP has put him back in the crate with no protest.

But now the FP is hemming and hawing.  The bedroom is too hot.

It gets hot when the door to the bedroom is closed.  But the FP thinks the bedroom should be cool enough with or without the bedroom door closed.  Maybe.  But the thermostat is reading 77, which is hot for the FP.  So even if it is 77 in the bedroom, the FP is going to think it's hot.  I really don't know.  But I don't have money to get an AC repair guy out here, because, I know it will just cost us $1000.  That is the generic price for every repair.  We don't have that.

I don't know.

I'm just tired.  I spent the last couple hours chasing after Rudy yelling for him to get off the counter, get that piece of plastic or paper of whatever out of his mouth, get off the couch when we are eating.  And then I also was telling Stinksy to back off from my plate of food when I had to move to the dining room table to eat, so that I could make sure Rudy would stop jumping up on the counter.

I can't imagine having kids.....

The Cone

My favorite kind of cone is a waffle cone.  The FP's favorite kind of cone is the cone of uncertainty, with spaghetti models spilling out of it.

So, it's ironic.  We are sitting to the right side of the cone.  So, we might not get a direct hit.  We might get a lot of rain though.  The ironic part, we are approaching the anniversary of Katrina, so this hurricane is due to hit Florida almost on the anniversary of Katrina.

That would be crazy if it hit us on the anniversary.  That would be a literary event.  I'm not saying that I want it to hit us, but it's damn interesting.

With all the hurricane watches and warnings that we have dealt with, you would think we would be prepared for a storm.

We are not, of course.  Our storm shutters are not lined up with the drill holes.  The storm shutters that are detachable, we've never tried to fit to the windows.  We don't know what would happen to this house in the event of a bad storm.  I don't know what we would do with our cars.  But, our tree is trimmed, at least.

Well, let's hope that we won't have to scramble to prepare for this.

Maybe it will just go into the water.

Or maybe it will head for New Orleans.  Now that would be crazy....

No Bark!

This canine son is really getting out of control with the barking.  He has started barking when we drop him off or pick him up at daycare.  And he now barks when he is in the crate and the cats come into the bedroom.  I'm beginning to understand more and more why people use bark collars....

I'm not sure this is a lifestyle change I want to take on

Having to do my hair, that is.

So, I chopped it off.  Well, it wasn't as extreme of a chop off as I would have done.  But it's done.  I still have to deal with the weasel that is wrapped up in aluminum foil and hidden... somewhere in the house so that Rudy wouldn't get a hold of it and drag it around and chew on it.

Anyway, the guy thought that I needed to have some length to my hair and that going any shorter might not work...

I have had basically no hair several times in my life.

Well, I guess the shape of my face has changed and all.  Anyway, he cut my hair just above the shoulders.  So, I can put it in a ponytail.  But, if I don't style it, it's all curly and weird looking and very unstylish.  But I don't see myself styling it every day.  Especially at 6:30 am, just to put it in a ponytail.

So, tonight, I took a shower.  Then I combed it and put leave in conditioner in it.  I do have to say that it was nice to be able to even run a comb through my hair, now that all the dead dry wirey stuff is gone.

After I combed it, I blow dried it for a bit with a roll brush.  I don't even know how to handle a roll brush.  I got that brush a long time ago, but I never liked it.  But, I used it tonight, because I didn't want to have those inverse flippys.

After I blow dried, then I broke out the flat iron and turned it on to 400.  I spritzed a little more leave in conditioner, just in case.  And then I ironed my hair, making sure to curl it in at the end.

Then I finished with just a little teeny bit of oil like the hair guy said.

I should have timed it.  I think it took 15 - 20 minutes.  That's about 10 -20 minutes more than time time I used to take on my hair.  Unless I was trying to brush out the dreads.  Then that would be anywhere between 30 - 75 minutes, but I could sit and watch TV while I did that.

Anyway, here I am in bed, with a fairly nicely styled head of hair.  Tomorrow when I wake up, it will have to be restyled.

I don't know.  I'm thinking of going Miley Cyrus....or a Draco Malfoy...
I was doing that shit when she was just a baby shitting her diapers and puking on her mommy's back...

Mission Accomplished!

Ever since I was very young, I wanted to be a published writer.  Somewhere in between then and now, I got discouraged and turned to several other pursuits.

Would I still like to be published, sure.

Well, that day has finally come.  I'm going to add this one to my resume and my empty list of accomplishments section.  Here is my stunning piece of literary genius

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=kitty-litter-bag


Okay, it's not really all that or a bag of chips.  Actually, I was cleaning out the litter box one day, and I swung the bag around and hit my hand with it on accident.  I was so mortified, and there was no one present besides like the cats, and maybe the dog.  And I thought, I just kitty-litter-bagged myself.  For whatever reason, I thought, that should be a phrase on urban dictionary.  So I logged on and submitted a definition.  And later, they notified me to say that it was accepted and would be published.

Finally, a published author!

Nothing But Rest And Relaxation...

when I am laid up in a hospital or nursing home.  Until then, there is a lot to do.

Ok, when I get home from work most days, I don't do many productive activities, but I'm getting to be an old lady and I need time to recuperate from standing and working all day without a break besides pissing (and every once in a while pooping).

But days off are not for sleeping.  They are for living.  And TCB.

Ok, admittedly, I slept in til 6:24 today.  Yeah, I know, lazy lady.  That's me.

Anyway, it was funny because the FP was sound asleep and the lady with the day off had to wake him up.

So, Rudy and I went to a park off the beach that we had never been to.

Why, wherever we go, does Rudy always find the fish and meat bones in the grass?  I mean really.  And corn cobbs too.  Do people not know about throwing their food in the trash?  It's like, do they think they are being green and composting?  What about the dogs, though?  Do they want to possibly kill dogs with chicken bones? WTF?

Anyway, eventually, we got a little jogging in.  Well, jogging for me.  It was more like a brisk trot for long legged Rudy.

So, when we went back home, we had worked up a sweat.  So we went swimmies!

Then Rudy worked up an appetite and wanted a little snack

Then he took a nap while I went to the store.

And I'm having an interesting yet not so tasty cocktail now, while I write this blog!  Good day off.  I just have to remember to drink lots and lots of water so this one drink doesn't dehydrate me!

I'll dispel the myth now

Why are there so many people whose job it is to search for bigfoot.  And how can the Discovery Channel or some channel of similar creditability spend money funding documentaries about Bigfoot? It should be on Comedy Central instead.

Why are people still analyzing that "bigfoot video" of the man in the bigfoot suit in the woods?

And comparing "footprints"?

Kiddies, if you don't want to know, then scroll to the next blog, because this is a SPOILER ALERT!




Bigfoot does not exist!

If there are Bigfeet around, then how is there not one corpse, skeleton or even fur (hair)?  I mean really?

I believe in ghosts, reincarnation, possession, ESP, haunting, premonitions, intuition, telepathy, and some conspiracy theories.  Chupacabras interest me.  When I was little, the Loch Ness monster fascinated me.

But Bigfoot?  C'mon.  C'maan!!!

Do you think I can get funding to research the sock fairy that steals one sock of every pair?

going for 3

So, this is my third, count it, 1, 2, 3rd day in a row imbibing in the brew.  This is unusual.

Ok, if you knew me from way back when, you would say, I don't get it.

I don't really drink much anymore.  I mean, I often think, maybe I want a beer, and don't end up having one.

But I've been out of sorts lately.  Not sure why - stupid things at work, my one sis is recovering from a major operation that involved the C word, my other sis is buying a house, I have to go see my dad who I haven't seen since the horrible night of his birthday , the FP was out of town and lost his phone, the pet dramas, hormone imbalances, the desperate need for a two day weekend, etc.

Anyway, sometimes beer doesn't sound good or taste good to me, but lately it does.

So, on Tuesday night, I picked up the FP and we went to a local Italian joint for dinner on the way home.  I had a Peroni - about 3/4 of it.  Last night, when we stopped to buy lottery tickets (which I didn't win the big jackpot :( ) I got a 6 pack of Red Stripe.  I had one beer, then we went to the AT&T store. Then we came back and I had another beer floating in the pool in one of the ripped pool loungers.

And then today, when the FP was getting a beer in the fridge, he asked me if I wanted one, so I said, sure.

And there you have it.  4 beers in three days... that's crazy!!!!  Should I call AA now to schedule a meeting, or should I wait until it escalates?

Sometimes, I'm an airhead

After all, I was blonde a few times in my life.

So, yesterday, when I was running errands, make them airrends, I went to get my hair chopped off.  I had been trying to sell it with only offers from people with hair fetishes.  They were willing to pay good money, but, I don't know if I can willingly let someone get off while stroking my dead pelt.

So, I just decided to get it cut.  If I can sell it, I might.  If not, I'll just donate it, which is probably what will happen.

Anyway, I went to park in a meter spot.  The only change I had was dollar coins.  I had used a $10 bill or a $20 bill to pay for something in a machine and the only change available was $1 coins.  So, now we have several.  Luckily, the city of Fort Lauderdale has pay by phone.  So that is what I did.  All I had to do was call the number and enter my pin number and the parking space number, and how long I would like to pay for.  That was it.  Then I was on my merry way.

I had a very pleasant haircut, and I was pretty happy with the light feeling of all that heavy hot mass of itchy hair being lifted off my shoulders.  I was walking to the car, when I saw an envelope on my windshield.

I got a ticket.

Because I'm an airhead.  When I did the pay by phone, I was paying for the Element, not the Mini.  When I had set up pay by phone, we did not have the Mini yet.  It never even crossed my mind that I was in the Mini, not the Element.

So, what did I do?  I called parking services right away from my handy dandy Mini bluetooth handsfree phone connection.  I admitted to the lady what I had done and I asked, is there any way you can cancel the ticket or reduce the fine?  Even the way I asked sounded like what and airhead would say.

But the lady said she would see what she could do.  She asked for my phone number.  She saw that I did have an account for an Element.  Then she asked for my Mini license plate.  I gave it to her.  She said that she would process the information and cancel the fine this one time, but next time, I was to remember to pay for the correct car.

I was elated.  This kind of stuff never works out for me!

Fast forward to this morning at work.  I had one missed phone call, and then my phone rang again.  It was the parking services lady.  She needed my license plate number again, because she couldn't find the Mini in the system.  So, we went over the letters again.  She was hispanic.  There was a little language accent barrier.  We had to do the B as in Boy thing.  So, we discovered that she had gotten the letters wrong.  So, then we cleared it all up, and I should be getting notice sometime in a week or so.  The End.

Or so I thought.  She called back a few hours later and left a voicemail in spanish.  Then she called about an hour after that.  I heard the phone, so I answered.  She had forgotten to ask me for my address. So I gave it to her.  And allegedly, that was it.  The matter was taken care of.

I think....

We'll just see what happens in the future...

Not Long Enough (that's what she said)

The day, that is.

So, I thought I was going to sleep in a little today.  I didn't just drift off to sleep yesterday, and I always need some recovery time after Sunday brunch, because I'm old and not as spry as I used to be.

So, anyhoo, that sleeping in thing didn't happen.  The FP called me around 6 am to tell me the news... he lost his iphone!

Can I say, it wasn't a shocker?  He most likely left it in the cab or it fell out of the cab or something.

The "funny" (not ha ha funny) is that that guy always had that damn phone in his hand.  He probably spent more consecutive hours holding that iphone and the previous iphone than the number of hours he spent holding my hand in his lifetime.

So, needless to say, I was up for the day.  I spent a while setting up the AT&T family map, which is free for 30 days.  I got it working, and it said that his phone was near the hotel.  So, I made him get up and go look on the street for it.  He couldn't find it.  A while later, the phone had apparently moved north.  I texted the phone (which doesn't have passcode security) and said that I have GPS tracker on the phone and the cops would be coming to find it.  A little later, the phone was back in the original spot.  It could be a coincidence.  Some people reported on a forum online how inaccurate the AT&T family map can be.  Or someone could have picked up the phone, saw the message and threw it back.

Anyway, after the FP gave up looking for it, I turned it off.

I went to the AT&T site to see what to do.  That's when I remembered, there was insurance!!!

So, I went to the link to make a claim.  It had a form to fill out and get notarized.  So, this could not be taken care of at 7 am...

So, I took Rudy to the park.  It was kind of swampy, and that guy did not want to walk!!!  So, I let him sniff around on the grass.  We meandered for possibly half a mile, which is better than no miles, I guess.  But I had so wanted to exercise him, because I needed to do errands.  I didn't want to crate up an energetic big puppy.  But, I could only take him stopping and sitting or laying down so many times.  I'm sure I gave a lot of people at the park a good laugh.  If I had seen myself walking Rudy, I probably would have followed us around to see what other funny antic he would pull.

After the park, I decided that I would just bring Rudy to daycare while I ran errands.  That would make us both happy.  He got half a day of play, and I got to run errands without worrying that I was taking too long.

After I picked him up, I tried to scrub the algae spots off the bottom of the pool.  I had bought swim goggles for the task, which, I have never worn in my life.  They hurt my face.  But I tried them.  But the algae scrubbing was a failure.  I couldn't gain enough scrubbing strength in my arm without floating back to the surface.  Guess I have too much body fat ratio - because they say fat is more buoyant, right?

Anyhoo, instead, I got Rudy to get in the pool.  I got a dog treat and floated it on the frisbee.  He barked in that whiny voice for a little while, but then he just kind of gave up and went in after it.  It was funny because he decided to just take the treat and leave the frisbee.  On his turn back, his nails scratched the fuck out of my stomach.  Fucker.

I got him to go in again to retrieve the frisbee, but then that was it for him.  He did the rolling around in the grass and running around the yard routine for a while.  I joined in, but with my house slippers, I was running like an old lady.

When we were about to go back in, I noticed blob on his head.  I thought it was leaf particle.  I went to grab it and it was soft.

I realized it was.... a big fat bloated tick!!!
Ack!!!

I had to deal with this now.  By myself.  We haven't had tweezers in ages.  So, I got panicky, and I grabbed a paper towel, to see if the thing would just pull off.  I guess it had enough to drink, because it came off really easily.  It was so bloated and gross.  But then I realized, there was a smaller one under it.  At first I thought it was the head, but the big bloated one had legs and a head, and this smaller one had legs and a head.

So, then, I had to find the needle nose pliers.  I grabbed the toolbox out from under the sink, and all these spiders had to run for cover.  The pliers were of course at the bottom.  Once I got the tools back in, I tried to coax Rudy.  I don't know if he felt uneasy because of the ticks or because he sensed I was trying not to freak out.  So, I kept trying to lure him with treats, but I guess the pliers looked menacing to him.  But I finally got him.  No matter what, the food will eventually lure him, even if it takes time.

Luckily, the thing came right off, and I was pretty sure I got the whole thing.  I put it in a ziploc baggie, just in case.  Then I called the vet to ask what the deal was.  Basically, they said, make sure to get the ticks off asap.  They said that flea and tick meds really don't repel ticks.  They should eventually die though, but it's better to just get rid of them and treat the yard for them.  So, I guess I'm going to have to do a little yard maintenance, even though it wasn't on the agenda for the day.....
even though the thought of going out there gives me the willies and the itchies!

I picked up the guitar

tonight.  For the first time in like forever.

I realized that as shitty as I was before, boy am I beyond rusty now.  I can't even imagine what it would be like to pick up the bass.  I always wonder if I would remember all those songs we used to play.  I would probably remember about a third of them.

That's sad, I know.  But, I want to play music again.  I don't know in what capacity, but I do want to do it.  It's fun.  It's uplifting.  It makes me feel a part of something, which is a rare feeling for me.  Even though I'm part of lots of microcosms, I always feel like the bubble that doesn't quite fit in.  The bubble that might quite possibly separate from the group and ruin the whole integrity of the microcosm.  And yes, I felt like that when I was a part of a band, but there were moments, when we were just playing music, that my universe felt like it was all in harmony.

I've been eyeing the sax too.  Because, I just got it worked on about a year ago.  And it's easier for me to express my soul from, with raw single note melodies.  But, maybe tomorrow.

Maybe tomorrow.  

Bite The Hand

All I can say, is, Rudy is a scary dog.  He came home and went straight into his crate while I was bringing stuff in from the car.  

That's normal.

But, then I realized he still had his leash on, so I went to take it off of him.  I reached in, and he growled and almost bit me.  I thought, he's sick or something.  So, I looked more closely in his mouth, and I saw that he had found a kitty kong and was chewing it.  

I tried to use "drop it" and jerked his collar, which of course didn't work, especially from that angle with him in the crate.

So, I had to lure him with a treat.  He dropped it really quickly.

But it still doesn't erase the fact that I'm scared of my dog.  I don't want to get nerve damage from him.  The way he bites when he does, seems to affect my nerves in my arm.

I don't like it.

I love that dog, but sometimes I just don't like him.

The Deal With The Towels

So, pretty much every action in my life has to be premeditated.  I mean, everything.

Because I'm a nutcase.  I don't need a diagnosis from a psychiatrist.  I just know.  I mean, sometimes I piss myself off because I'm slow to do things because I have to contemplate the best way to do things.

And because if I do something without thinking, it usually doesn't work out.

Anyway, I have a problem when I shower.  I usually try to think about what I have to do, or what time it is, then I decide what time is best to shower.  So, then I dig through the laundry basket, because that's where basically all my clothes always are, and I find something to put on after the shower.  Then I start the water.  I usually let it run a minute before I get in.  Then I shower.  Here's where my brain disconnect comes.

Sometimes I don't have a towel.  Because we just run laundry and then dump the clean clothes in the laundry basket, usually if I didn't get a towel, I expect one to be in the laundry basket.  But there isn't always one there.  And then, you might ask why there wasn't one on the towel rack.

Well, the one reason is that the towel rack fell, and I haven't "had the time" to put it back up.  The other reason is that we tend to take a shower, and then walk around the house in the towels, then throw the towel on the bed.  The towel ends up back in the dirty laundry pile, or hanging on the back of the bedroom door, or in the other bathroom.

So, usually, I need to check out the towel situation before I go to take a shower.  I remember most of the time.  Sometimes I don't.  But those times, I usually can find a towel in the clean laundry basket.

Not tonight though.  No towel in the clean laundry.  Except for a couple of hand towels.  So, I could have asked the FP to get me a towel.  Or I could have walked through the house nekkid.  But, instead, I just settled for drying off with my pool towel that was hanging on the shower stall.  I mean, the pool has chlorine in it, so it's not like dirty right?  It's like a sanitized towel...

So, that's the deal with the towels.  I need to hang a reminded sign in the bathroom - do you have a clean towel?

Big Yellow House

So, before we moved here, we finally took the cats to the vet and got them microchipped.  The vet gave us these big rubber yellow house ID tags with their microchip numbers on them.  We decided to get the cats collars and put the tags on them when traveling and after moving until they were familiar in their surroundings.  We didn't want them to run away and not have a collar.

So, the tags were silly, but we just never took them off.  Until my BFF came to visit.  She thought that Stinksy's collar was too tight, which it might have been, but he never minded it.  So, after that, we never put it back on.

But The Fuzz still has hers on.  I have tried to take hers off a few times, but it is impossible for me to unsnap with my nonexistent nails.  So, she still wears hers.  It really doesn't bother her.  And I think she likes bling anyway - she's a girly cat.

So, here's a video of her sporting her big yellow house.

And yes, that is a beer I'm moving.  I'm not offering it to her, I'm just trying to get her to look at the camera.  And then later in the video, I yell "off" when of course, Rudy is trying to jump on the counter....


In other pet news, I recorded part of the movie "Rudy" the other night.  Coincidentally, I was watching "Rudy" when my old friend from junior high called.  She went to Notre Dame, so I took it as a sign to answer the phone.  She didn't think I would answer, but surprise surprise, I did!

Anyhow, the FP noticed tonight that I had recorded "Rudy".  So he started watching it.  I told him it wasn't the whole movie, but it didn't really matter because we've seen the movie several times before anyway.  I had recorded it because I wanted to see if Rudy would respond to the end of the movie when the whole football stadium chants, "Rudy, Rudy, Rudy!"  When that part of the movie came on, he was snoozing.  But after a little while, he raised his head and his ears perked up.  He looked at us, like, oh, they're chanting my name!  It was cute.  After all, that was the moment that inspired his name years before we even met him!

Waterboy

So, let's clear up about last night.  I felt like shit.  Probably had something to do with the junk food dinner I had... That's why I didn't blog.

Today I have something good to blog about!

Rudy finally jumped into the pool for the first time today!!!

So, he has been going in to the first step, no problem.  But that's as far as he can go very willingly.  If he goes any farther, he does a nosedive in the water.  So, he has gone out past the first step a handful of times.  Most of the time though, the FP "coaxes" or drags him deeper.  Once he gets swimming, it looks pretty graceful and effortless.  The difficult part is just getting him in the water.

So, we have been trying to lure him in with treats and toys, but most of the time he just barks desperately on the side because he can't reach the treat or toy.  So, then, maybe the FP will lead him into the water, and he can retrieve the toy or treat and swim back to the steps.

But today, after a while, he finally kind of jumped off the first step into the water to retrieve a soggy dog treat.  Then after that, he realized that it was easier to get in the water than he thought, so he slowly kept going in to retrieve the blue frisbee that the treat was on the first time.

And he went in several times.  Of course, the FP was being a typical father figure, trying to push him to go in the pool one time right after the other.  Rudy liked to have a few minutes in between to chew on the frisbee before going back in.  I thought Rudy looked like he was getting tired, so the FP let him take a breather.  But then after a little while, he was ready to go in again.

We just need him to figure out how to jump from the edge of the pool now.  It will come.  Then he will be ready for Bark Park dog swim.  There is a manmade lake there, with a nice drop off where people can throw tennis balls and dogs can jump off and swim to retrieve the ball.  Some of these dogs can jump really far.

Rudy should be able to jump too.  After all, he is a retriever!

We were such proud parents!  And in this day and age, no video of it.  But maybe tomorrow, or Saturday.

Homeownership Woes

So, I had plans today.  I didn't accomplish that many of them.

I did work on one though.  The bathtub drain.  It's been clogged for, oh, I don't know, several months.  There is no screen in the drain, so, you know, that's something a renter wouldn't worry about.  As a homeowner, one of the first things I should have bought on one of my many trips to Home Depot was a screen.  I never thought about it though.

And here I was today, trying to unclog it.  I had bought one snake that works with a power drill, but the snake unravelled and wouldn't go down into the drain.  So, I bought a cheaper one.  That's the one I was trying to use today.  I had to unscrew the overflow, which I only found out about by googling "my bathtub drain is clogged".  That took a long ass time.  The screws started to strip.  I tried to get the power drill out that my sis lent me, but the batteries were dead.  Their old, so they had not been charging well.  So, I kept unscrewing with my little screwdriver.  I don't know how long it took, but it felt like an hour.

Then I had to jam the snake down and manually twist the handlebar thing.  And twist and twist.  And it made that horrible scraping metal noise.  And it wouldn't go very far.  But I twisted and twisted.  And I got some nasty clumps of hair out.  They were covered in black liquid.  It was so gross.  But I could tell it wasn't enough.

So, I had to go to Home Depot and find another snake.

While I was there, this lady tried to talk me into getting a free kitchen remodeling estimate.  She said that I looked muscular like I worked out.  I told her I had been snaking a drain, so that was probably why.  Weird.  Sounds like a couple pick up lines to me.

Anyway, I came back and whipped out my new snake.  I cranked it out.  And I twisted and overtwisted, and I bent a kink into it.  So, I ended up not getting much more progress with this one.

But, when I ran the water, it would slowly drain, rather than just fill up the tub, so there was some progress.

Anyway, after that grueling process, I cleaned the tub.

Then I felt so dirty, that I needed to go into the pool.  But of course, Robby the Robot solar skimmer was stuck on Jaws the Great White automatic pool cleaner, and Jaws was just stuck.  So, I unstuck Robby.  Then I had to clean the pump filter.  Then I could swim.  And it felt good.

Welcome back insomnia, my old friend

So, I didn't think I was going to blog tonight.  I didn't feel like I had anything compelling to write about.

And here I am, in the studio, the room in which I never hang out in.  (look at that, 2 dangling prepositions)  It's 11:34, way past my bedtime.

And I'm obsessing about cake.

I tried to make a layer cake today out of leftover pancake batter.  The theory was delicious.  But my pancake layers were too thick.  And there wasn't enough of the yummy filling.  But I'm off tomorrow.  So, I will have to try to doctor it on Wednesday.

I feel so unsettled, anxious, and sad like all the time.

I'm sad that I don't pay enough attention to Rudy to properly train him.

I'm sad that I don't spend any quality time with the cats.

I'm sad that I don't get to "hang out" more with the FP.  We spend lots of time together, but, a lot of it is him on his internet device and me on mine.  Or me trying to get the pool cleaners operating properly while he is on the lanai on his internet device.

I'm sad that I don't paint all the time like I should.

I'm sad that I'm almost scared to pick up an instrument, even though I want to.  That seems really silly.

I'm sad that today I cut my pinky finger really bad, and I thought sadly, at least I don't have a gig coming up.

I'm sad that I have no friends here.

I'm sad that I don't read more.

I'm sad that I don't feel like I fit in at work, even though I generally like my job.

I'm sad that one person's mood at work could so hugely influence my mood, even though I try to not let that happen.

I'm sad that we don't have our own restaurant.  All these other friends of ours have opened their own places, and here we are, cooking for other people, when the main reason we started cooking was to have our own place one day.  That one day, I thought would be long before now.

But, with all those things I'm sad about, there's so much more to be happy about.
Health, love, friendship, home, food, employment, transportation, mobility, quality of life, lots of great TV programs to watch.

But you never hear of anyone having insomnia over thinking about their blessings, do you?

I'm going to try to go to bed for the second time tonight.

Goodnight.  I love you all.

Time for a move?

So, maybe it's because he seems to have an eye infection. Maybe it's because he's a fussy rebellious adolescent. But Rudy is being so difficult during bedtime. He doesn't want to go to bed when the FP does, even though he is sleepy anyway. But if I leave him out with me, he gets cranky when I wake him to go in.

He's not very loving, but he needs to be around us too much. I think it's time to move him into his own room, but I don't think he will go for it.

It can be so damn noisy though. It would be nice to not have to listen to the FP's snoring and Rudy's fidgeting too.

Or we'll just keep him in the bedroom and I'll buy some of that non-addictive zzzzzquil....

What's The Deal?

I slept for about 9 hours last night.  It was amazing.  Then I woke up feeling way better than the day before.

My throat still feels a little sketchy, but better today.

I'm cautiously optimistic.  Which is out of character for me.

Maybe the worst is still in front of me.  I am, afterall, still waiting for my test results from the throat culture that made me gag.  So we'll see.

Meanwhile, the FP doesn't feel too great.  He feels rundown.  Hopefully, it's just feeling rundown and neither of us have contracted the dreaded strep throat.

And then, the doggie seems to have a sleepy eye, as in, boogery eye.  The pet stores don't sell OTC eye drops, because, one should consult with a vet, of course.  So, this guy will have to deal with his weepy eye until Monday I guess, or even Tuesday.

This has been a weird day off.  I never relax on my day off for too long.  But that is most of what I've done all day.  It was nice.  Relaxing.  I'd like to have more of these days!

Sick?

My asshole coworker got the strep throat last weekend.  He was hacking all over me for 2 days before he went to the doctor.  

I had been feeling more and more drained as the week went on.  Last night I took Nyquil, and today I woke up feeling like shit.  So, I took Dayquil.  But I still felt crappy all day long.  I think I had fevers and my throat was getting dry and closing, but not "sore" yet.  

So, I did the responsible thing.  I went to the CVS minute clinic.  I just made it 40 minutes before closing.  And my quick test swab came back negative.  But the nurse practitioner sent another culture to the lab to be analyzed for sure.  

So, we will see... what the outcome is:  strep or common cold?

Still scared

Even now, I can't rewatch the exorcist movie. I am too scared.

So, now I'm watching a documentary about the story that inspired the movie. And I keep getting chills. Possession is one of my several unscientific fears.

Lets's list my fears:

-ghosts
-possession
-rapists
-murderers
-car accidents
-plane crash
-building explosion or collapse
-homelessness
-not being able to pay Internet or cable bill
-natural disasters
-physical or mental dehabilitation
-getting sick of Seinfeld
-not having enough potable water

Okay, that's not all of them.

So anyway, my question is, do you believe this was a real possession? I guess it has to do with your beliefs or faith, doesn't it?

One Reason I Don't Have Kids

I don't have that much patience with Rudy.  

The FP left fish dip on the counter.  Of course, Rudy started licking it.  When I noticed, I yelled off.  Lick lick lick.  Off.  lick lick.  Off!  lick lick lick.  Off!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (with all this frustrated exhausted rage)  No fucking response.  The FP did the logical thing and took the fish dip away.

I couldn't eat any more fish dip - it was contaminated with The Fuzz's poo bacteria.

Gross.

Rudy started following the FP around like he was scared at me.  

While someone else might see a cute mischievous puppy, I see a naughty stubborn domineering pain in the ass who messed up my already messed up wrist yesterday.

That's why I shouldn't have kids.