So, as all of you thousands and thousands of loyal followers know, I didn't post yesterday. I humbly apologize. This is not the Pork Porn Pages, so I can still apologize for this one.
I did not have the time to post yesterday. We had to go to my hometown to meet in Lakeland for dinner for my dad's birthday. I won't go into all that too much, because that would be a more appropriate topic for the My Personal Story blog.
Anyways, I did gather foder for the blog even though I didn't write a blog last night. So, hopefully this one will be entertaining to you.
After family time, we went to see our friend, Keytower, who lives down the street. He of course wanted to go to the Castle, and after the FP had a few rum and cokes, or is it rums and cokes? So, we went.
If you've never been to The Castle in Ybor City, well, it looks like a castle from the outside. It's pretty cool. On the first floor is one of my favorite bars, as in a piece of furniture. It's got a castle moat running around the perimeter of the bar top. I mean with running water. And it's got a great upstairs area too with two other cool bars and a good sound system.
If you like goth, industrial, dark wave, alternative, etc, then you probably will like The Castle. If you like people watching then you will love The Castle.
So, you know, there are those stereotypical people at these types of clubs. There's the goths with the capes and corsets and heavy makeup and leather and lace. There's the more S&M types with the sparse leather and studs and spikes. There's the combat boots and cargo pants guys. There's the tourists. Also, there's the weekend goths, who one would never guess were into it during the day.
But last night at the Castle, there were these three more unique people there.
Regular naked guy. Ok, so, this is an older man. He has thinning hair, and definitely not the greatest body. He wears combat boots and some kind of penis and ball sheath. It was red. And it didn't really fully cover his ball sack. And he just adjusted it right there, in the middle of the club without bothering to go to the bathroom or anything, because he was naked guy. And the Castle was freezing last night. It was like being at the vodka vault in that vodka bar, Red Square, in Las Vegas. Not that I have ever been in there, but I've seen the place on food channel enough. So, he kind of dances and seems to face people not on the dance floor, to get a "rise" out of them. And you know, he likes to "carry" himself like a celebrity. And of course a lot of tourists take pictures with him - to post on facebook, no doubt.
The funny thing is, you can tell he's a regular because he knows everyone. All night I watched other people come up to him and say hi, hug hello. It was interesting to watch a naked man hug people. Thankfully, he didn't do the penis mash, he seemed to keep the appropriate distance. And yes, I was watching. Of course, even though he knows everyone at the club, being regular naked guy still seems like a lonely role. While everyone said hi to him, no one talked to him more than a minute or two. Because he's regular naked guy. I wonder what he does for a living.
90s douche baguette. So, there was this girl, who reminded me of a "sexy" version of Elaine from Seinfeld. I put sexy in quotes because she seemed like she thought she was dancing sexy, but she was dancing very Elainesque/ bad stripper. She had this big curly mane of hair that she liked to swing around while dancing, and she was wearing what looked like a blouse that could be very versatile, with a short ruffled skirt that the blouse was tucked into. Or maybe it was a dress that looked like a shirt and skirt. And like pumps or something. She was with a group of guys. She was the only female - very Elainesque again. It seemed like the guys could have been gay or straight. I couldn't really tell. She was dancing all up on all of them. 80s douche baguette.
Douchbag goth music enthusiast. So, this guy was my favorite to watch. I had to try to watch him without being obvious. Not that it would matter, because his whole deal seemed like he wanted people to watch. He obviously liked to work out. How do I know that? Because any time he went to the dance floor to dance, he would take his shirt off and tuck it into the back of his belted blue jeans. So, he wasn't totally ripped, but my guess was maybe he had been working hard enough on his body and he felt pretty proud of his progress at some point and started taking his shirt off to dance and show off the muscles. And he wore workout gloves. And his dance moves were... practiced. And he knew the words to a lot of the songs. Maybe I'm being a bitch for making fun of someone who clearly had a love of dancing to his music, and who liked to combine it with his... workout routine. You can't deduct points for enthusiasm, can you?
I really love the Castle. I can not set foot on the dance floor once all night and still have quite an enjoyable night.
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