I'm not. I know some of you, you know who you are. Or maybe you don't. You feel superior. Or you have the need to feel superior. Certainly, you must be more intelligent than me. I'm just a naive little girl. Of course, those who I'm writing about probably don't read this here poor lil old blog! So why do I feel the need to defend myself? Because sometimes I just want to be heard!
I'll have you know, that in elementary school, I was tested to be in the gifted program. I did not get in though. But, I think it was due to my emotional immaturity, not because of low IQ. That's what I like to think, anyway. I did get in during junior high, though. Sure, I might have been the least brilliant in the bunch... but I had made it into the gifted program, regardless of my rank.
I also got accepted to Boston University in the early acceptance program. That means I submitted my application sometime in the fall of my senior year and I got accepted before the spring semester started. I think I wrote an essay about A Clockwork Orange for my application. And I got in. Being myself. Of course, I didn't get to go. But that's a sign of intelligence, right?
Sure, I often do things or say things, or speak in a way that may make me seem cognitively challenged. My grammar might not be spot on, and my use of slang might be a little too low brow. But, everyone uses slang, and if someone uses no slang at all, it sounds strange and condescending.
Maybe it's difficult to think that the FP and I could move clear across the country and close the deal on a house exactly a month after landing here. There must be a lot of problems with the house. It was probably a bad deal. We probably paid too much. Or our mortgage rate is probably through the roof. There's probably lead paint and radon and the house is in a flood zone on top of a sinkhole. I do know how to read. I know how to use the internets. And I do know how to read between the lines. And I know what I like. So, here we are in our lovely abode, which is a work in progress.
I really wish our dining room chairs would arrive. They are going to be so cool looking, blue, purple, pink and black against our green wall, set up around our dining room table.
Okay, so maybe I have the same color preference as a 4 month old, but just because my color preference has never matured doesn't mean the rest of me hasn't.
Or maybe you don't think I am that dumb, but you like to prove to me that you are also intelligent and you know things that I don't. I am so fucking intelligent though, that I realize that everyone on this earth knows at least one thing I don't, but most likely way more than that.
Hm... realize that, this is not directed at everyone. There's just some people who feel the need to make me question myself more than I already do. That doesn't sound very nice. I have very low self esteem. I also have a poor self image. Why you gotta put me down more?
Anyway, all that matters is what I think. I think I'm dumb. I don't need you to make me feel dumber and insecurer than I already feel. Thanks.
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