Rudy Doesn't Like Fetch

So, I know that all dog owners say how smart their dog is.  I would say Rudy is at least above average.  He knows:

Sit
Shake
Down
Crawl
Rollover
Stay (kind of)
Thru (for doorways)
Off (even though he doesn't even obey it)
No (even though he doesn't even obey it)
No Bite (he acts like he doesn't understand this one)
Take it

But he either doesn't "get" fetch, or he doesn't like the idea of "retrievering" something and bringing it back....

HE IS A RETRIEVER!!!!

I don't think he knows that.  I think he thinks he's a Labrador Greedy Eater.  I mean, he puts everything in his mouth and he eats half of everything he puts in his mouth.

I feel like someone is going to read one of these blogs and report me to the SPCA because of some of the things I have said about him.  I don't remember if I have called him names on this blog, but I might have been heard to call him Dick once or twice.  It's really just a pet name.  But maybe someone would hear that and see him choke from his collar and call the SPCA.  That would be hilarious.  They would do an interview, and it would be like this:

We have rearranged our lives and the cats' lives for our puppy.
We spent hundreds of dollars on him even before we got to actually take him home.
We buy him fancy puppy food.
We buy him a new toy every week or two.
We feel bad if we have to leave him in his crate more than an hour during the day, or if we have to leave him in the crate twice in one day.
We take him to doggie daycare.
We take him to the park for walkies and to the dog park.
We have been spending hundred of dollars on training for him and us.
He sleeps in the bedroom with us.

And then they would take him away!