Farts

Farts are funny, right?

I mean, I know you're an adult, and bodily function humor is beneath you, right?  Beneath you as in coming out of your ass...

I couldn't remember what the blog topic I was going to write about.  Then the FP farted, and then I farted shortly after.  So, I thought, let's write about pass flatus.  That's what my mom always called it.  

My family always laughed about farts.  Especially my dad's, which were the loudest.  Now, he just leaks out motorboat farts and I guess because he's hard of hearing he thinks their silent.  Either that or he doesn't care.  It's weird to hear him farting for several seconds and not be able to say anything or laugh, and have other people ignore it.

At work, I don't really fart too much.  I don't eat too much at work, not like at other jobs where I might be constantly shoving a dessert, or cheese, or a steak end, or risotto in my pie hole.  Oh, and I don't drink as much.  Not going in to work all hungover with soft stool really helps matters.  

But, it's almost a shame I don't have to fart too much at work.  I am boiling and peeling eggs almost every day.  And as you know, eggs smell like the ultimate fart smell.  So, the chef always makes jokes and asks me if I'm farting.  So, I answer, well yeah, that's why I boiled the eggs, so I can cover up the smell.

The FP came in yesterday and sat at the bar for about an hour.  He said that someone kept farting, like crop dusting right by him.  So, he wanted to make a disclaimer, that it wasn't him farting.  But that would make him seem guilty, and it would call out whoever was actually farting.  So he didn't say anything.  But he didn't want anyone to think it was him.

The funniest fart incident probably on record though, was in college.  My BFF and I were sitting in our dorm room farting.  A lot.  Just stinking up the room.  The combo of cigarette smoke and fart must have been quite a smell.  So, this girl from down the hall comes in.  I'm pretty sure we had guilty looks on our faces.  She asks, "what's that smell?"  And we just both bust a gut ROTFL.....