More Reckless Riders

So, I got this new keyboard cover.  Actually, it was for the FP, but it isn't form fitting like the old keyboard cover, so he got the old one and I took the new one.  It's like, there is no way he could use this one.  It's big and loose.  The FP is the kind of person who can manage to kick around the heavy duty floor mats in the car and fold them up.  So there, no way he could type with this keyboard condom on...

Anyway, getting back to the topic at hand.  The other day I was talking about this lady who was running over the rosemary bushes with her shopping cart at Whole Foods.  If you haven't read it, it's here:  License To Push A Shopping Cart .   So if you need to read it, I will pause right here.  Those of you who have read it can ff.






So, this morning - actually, it was almost noon because we got up late - we were running at the beach.  Actually, the FP runs, I jog.  It's Saturday.  There are way more people out on the weekends, of course.  There was this one older couple who were cute.  They were gracefully rollerblading (yes, I guess that is possible) and holding hands!

Then there's the serious exercisers, the amateur ones, and the just for fun enjoying the day ones.

And then there's the bikes.  There is a wide bike lane, but of course, some choose to not use it because it a high traffic lane.  So, I was jogging back towards the car.  There were people biking on the left and the right.  I was trying to stay in the middle.  But then a car would come, so I would have to go over to the far side.  This older man - serious exerciser - was biking at a pretty good clip on the far side, not in the bike lane.  There was a man with the littlest kid in the bike seat behind him.  The second littlest kid was following behind on his little bike with the training wheels that weren't even touching the ground. The biggest kid was probably four or five.  He was ahead of the pack.  He was weaving all over the place, making circles, hogging up the entire paved space.  The dad didn't seem to mind.  So, I was going the same direction as the family of bikers.  I saw the serious exercise man coming from the other direction, so I was staying in the middle.  This oldest kid was still ahead of me, weaving, and he was headed diagonal, like he was planning on side swiping serious exerciser.  Serious exerciser kept edging away, and the kid almost hit him and me.  Serious exerciser called to the kid to stay in the bike lane, but he acted like he didn't hear.

And he kept weaving and making circles as they passed me.  The more I watched this kid, the more pissed I got.  The dad didn't even seem to care.  Finally, a bunch of people were coming in both directions, so he told the kid to stay in the bike lane.  The kid half listened.  He was weaving around the bike lane line.  Cars started coming, so the dad was a little more vocal about staying on the inside of the line.  Then the kid asked why the line was there.  Dad said, because it's the bike lane.  And the kid was like, what's the bike lane for.

Okay, I couldn't be pissed at the kid anymore, because, clearly, he was retarded, I mean mentally challenged.    I mean, there had been talk of the bike lane, and it took him that long to go, what's a bike lane?  So, that was the only acceptable explanation to me.  So, then, I thought I should be more pissed at the dad, because he was a little too cavalier.  He should have told the kid the rules and courtesies before they started biking, right?  And if the kid didn't understand he should have made him understand before biking.  I mean, you gotta be watchful of your mong...re...mentally challenged ward, yes?

So, the kid was kind of riding slightly more in the bike lane, it seemed, only because there was heavier traffic and he didn't have much choice.  But he was still weaving, which was still annoying.  This one man was running in the bike lane behind them (setting a confusing and bad example for the poor mentally challenged kid)  and was getting ready to pass them from the outside.  The kid started weaving even more, as if... once again, he was aiming to hit this guy.  And then the kid fell with the bike on top of him.

I didn't laugh out loud.  But that was because I stopped myself.  I was glad I was behind them so they couldn't see me though.  Karma, I tell ya.

There was a second or two of silence, and then he started crying.  The dad kind of quietly asked if he was okay.  The kid didn't answer.  So, the dad took this as an opportunity to tell him how it was important to stay in the bike lane in his own space.  So, I passed them.  And after a bit, the kid got back on his bike and started leading the pack again.  Just on the outside of the bike lane, but in a straight line.  As they passed me, the dad urged the kid to get back in the lane, again.

I mean, he had to have known I had been observing the whole scene, right?  And he had to know I was casting judgement on his parenting, even though I have never had a child.  I mean, that's part of the reason I don't have one.  That and the whole dealing with other people's poop.   Because I don't want to be bringing a little asshole around in public and having people judge me on my lack of parenting skills.

Later on, we were driving down the street by our apartment near where the speed humps are.  Yes, they are humps, not bumps.  These are longer than speed bumps.  So, this woman, who may or may not reside at the dumpy Motel Fredola on the corner, was riding down the middle of the road in her motorized wheelchair.  As I approached her, she started to angle towards the middle of the right side of the road, more directly in front of me.  And she was approaching the hump cautiously.  So, I didn't know if she intended for me to follow behind her like a two vehicle parade or she was having problems with her steering, or if she was trying to eventually get to the far right of the road, to not have to go over the humps.  I didn't know the rules when dealing with a wheelchair in the road.  Should I have honked at her like that guy the other day who honked at the biker in the road?  Should I have revved my engine as a joke to scare her?  Or maybe I should have slammed on the gas and stopped short of her?  What would the guy who honks at bikes in the bike lane have done? What would that rude beach biking kid have done if he had been driving the car?  So I ended up going around her.  It seemed the safest easiest choice.  No one was hurt, or nearly hurt, or fearful of getting hurt.