License to Push a Shopping Cart

Sometimes, I think in my ideal police state, where everyone does the right thing, uses common sense, has self awareness and is thoughtful of others.  You know... like in the town of Seahaven in the Truman Show.  Polite and repressed.  Sounds wonderful, right?

What the hell does this have to do with shopping carts, you ask?  Well, maybe just anyone shouldn't be allowed to use them in high traffic areas.  Like little kids that are too little to navigate properly, or don't have the attention span for it.  Or... old people.  Yeah, I said it.  Here in Hallandale,  there is always so much traffic, and all those cars are driving to the numerous shopping centers in the vicinity.  And the drivers and passengers of the cars pile out and pile into the crowded stores, behind the handle bar of a shopping cart.

The number one problem with cart pushers is no awareness of one's surroundings.

So, there's the groups of people who take up the whole aisle.  They don't even have to have a cart.  They are all spread out looking for a specific item, or even worse, they are idly chatting, and they have no idea you want to get around them.

Then there are the ones with the carts who push in the middle of the aisle at an escargot pace, so no one can pass on either side of the aisle.  And then they stop to analyze creamed corn brands and pricing, bending, sticking their... derrieres out as another obstacle.

Of course, there's the little kids who plow into anything, man, food, machine without discretion.

And then there is the lady who was in front of us walking into Whole Paycheck (well, when you aren't getting a paycheck... it's cheap right? And besides, I went into the Publix nearby one or two times - a lot of stuff cost more there than Whole Foods).  She was a skinny legged old pasty white lady, with rolled up skinny white capris and a clingy long sleeve t shirt that showed off her... it's not a muffin top.... not quite a roll... it was like a square... bullnose sitting atop her pants.  Anyway, I'm not one to make fun of others.  Okay, yes I am.  I think my anxious mood is only fueling it.  But, I'm not exactly going to be a hot topic of the TV show fashion police, unless they are criticizing my wardrobe.  

So, this lady was kinda doing the sidewalk block so we couldn't get around her.  No big deal.  Then she managed to grab a cart and still block us.  She side swiped every single rosemary christmas tree bush on the floor.  She edged them all and didn't even notice.  And then she was trying to maneuver around some other shoppers, and she hit another bank of rosemary trees.  And I had been contemplating getting one of those for the cats!

Anyhoo, I can't wait to become one of those crazy old devil may care ladies!