Loser - warning: not a funny one today

So, I was going through one of my purple bins today. It has a bunch of old papers. Actually, I need to finish that big mess still. Anyway, it was mostly bank statements. But there were other things too. I realized that when I was younger I had such a bright future.

Look at me now.

Unemployed.

No friends.

No car.

Depressed.

Gaining weight.

Lazy.

Indecisive about my future.


I thought I was going to be a writer. Then I thought I was going to be a great chef. I also dreamed of becoming a rockstar. I'm a mediocre amateur blogger and a mediocre cook, and I'm also a mediocre musician. All mediocre. I would trade all three to be amazing at one. But which one? Don't know. Or I could do something all together different.

I saw an article from when I worked at this bar in New Orleans, with a picture of me holding a plate of beef marrow bones. That was about 10 years ago. I looked so young. So energetic. So full of hope and promise.


I've worked at great restaurants and ran the kitchens.

I had my plays produced by my sis and my friend's boyfriend.

I had lots of great friends.

I've played in a band live on stage.

Look at me now. Where did it all go wrong? I don't know what the fuck to do with my life! Where is that spark I used to have? Why is it that the most interesting thing I can come up with to write about is my hygiene? How do I get that spark back? How do I get myself to care about shit again? Why do I suck so bad? Why can't I just think of a funny topic to write about? I guess this is what a midlife crisis is, right? How does it stop? Am I supposed to buy an expensive sports car and have an affair with a 20 year old bimbo?

So, I think I need to get wasted and make some decisions. It seems like I've made important decisions when I was drunk, and I stuck with it. So, what should I drink? Probably liquor. I'm thinking tequila or vodka. Rum hurts my muscles, I'm not a gin girl, and whiskey makes me angry.

Actually, sangria is good, as is sake. Sake is my alcoholic soulmate. It makes me feel...stellar. Sake. It is. I love sake. My BFF doesn't really like it, and she hates the unfiltered stuff, claiming it is like man juice. Guess I like man juice then.

So, who wants to have some sake with me? Fly on out and help me make decisions! I don't really have much on my plate besides the need to schedule my dental appointment that I bought on Groupon.
Maybe we can find a Groupon for a sushi place!