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Wednesday, August 31, 2011

I'm Not Sure What the Topic of the Day Is

So, when I decided I was going to write a blog every day, I wasn't thinking about the fact that I was going to at some point run out of ideas. I just thought my mind was brimming over with ideas. Well, not so.

I've already gone on about ants, but I have more to say on the subject. They are like our house guests who won't go away. As I sit at the desk and write, I don't always see one on the desk, but I constantly feel one crawling on my arm. So, I just smush it, pick it off and throw it over my shoulder. It's enough to give me the heebies, because sometimes I feel a phantom ant running across my skin.

Anyway, last night, when I was watching TV laying on the futon next to a snoring FP, I felt an ant on my thigh. I picked it. But then I felt like I didn't get it. I didn't know if that was a phantom ant or real ant. So, I was getting tired. I had this half conscious dream that these ants would crawl up my coochie and nest in there. And I would have pain and lady issues before it was bad enough that I would go to the gynecologist. Then she would look up there and see a colony of ants. And it would be embarrassing, and she would say how did you not notice? And then they would take pictures to send to JAMA for pubication.

Yeah.

I tend to have very disturbing dreams. Usually, not about insectile infestation. Normally about trying to run away but I can't run fast enough because my lungs are too weak. Sometimes, they will be about two people from my past who I haven't thought of in a long time. Oftentimes, it will juxtapose people who don't know each other and are from different eras of my life. Which got me thinking. It would be fun to win the lottery and go on more vacations. But I could take friends with me, who would fit the trip. Say, if we went on a brewery tour of the west coast, there are several people from my past who don't know each other, I don't really know anymore, who would appreciate that trip. I could just send them a group message on facebook and ask who's in?
Or, if we wanted to go to Brazil for Carnivale, that would be a different group of people.

Anyhoo, whoever said money can't buy happiness obviously was dirt poor. Of course, there are problems that come with money, just as problems come without money. I don't need to buy friendship. But I could buy trips and drinks and dinner for friends. The closer they are, the more extravagant the gifts. Also, if I won the lottery, I could hire people to watch my dad 24/7. Oh, he would hate it, but he wouldn't refuse free help either. And in order to get someone to help my dad and not quit, that would be a very gleaming, exquisite penny, not just an ordinary pretty one.

But I don't obsess over money. Not too much. I do buy lottery tickets once or twice a week though. Quick picks. It would be more obsessive to have numbers to play, right? Although, I do feel embarrassed buying the tickets. Like people are going to think, she obviously is unemployed and using her unemployment check to buy lottery tickets instead of a bus ticket to a job interview. When I went to buy tickets yesterday, I bought a rainbow popsicle too. As if I was going for the popsicle and I thought to buy the tickets as I was paying. But, it was vice versa.

The popsicle was an added bonus for the walk home. Of course, I had to keep the wrapper on the elongated frozen treat, and I slowly slid it down as I consumed the icy rainbow rings. And I also snapped off bites of it rather than slobbering all over the thing. I didn't want anyone with a camera handy catching me sucking on it or licking it all Michele Bachmann-like. All I need is to go into a job interview and have them say, didn't I see you (at which point I will think they are talking about my TV appearance on a Cooking Channel series) on the internet deep throating a rainbow popsicle?

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