I know why kids get fat

because they were annoying their parent(s), so it's easier to distract and entertain with food.

My babysitter was the TV and food.  Luckily for me and my doctor mom, I had the hyperactive skinny gene as a kid.

Anyway... I used food to stop Rudy from annoying me tonight.  We were trying to watch Breaking Bad.  The FP was eating popcorn right after Rudy ate his dinner.  So, Rudy was trying to eat the FP's popcorn.  So, it was my job to distract him with the laser light game.  But, the FP was taking forever to eat the popcorn.  And Rudy kept coming back to him to try to get the popcorn.  So, finally, I got out the deer antler.  And he went away and he stopped jumping on the couch and stuff.  He was just scraping his teeth on that antler.

It's kind of gross and weird when you think about it - a dog chewing on a deer antler.  Do hunting dogs see antlered game and think, "yum, I can't wait to chew on one of those antlers!"

Why is that not as weird as chewing on, say, a cow bone?  I guess because I don't eat antlers.

Anyhoo, it seems like a lot of dog toys are really about getting them entertained by themselves without human interaction.  Not all of them, but a lot.  And they make a disclaimer on the package by saying that the dog should be supervised when chewing on the plastic bone or whatever.  Right.  A plastic bone is so a dog will sit quietly while mommy or daddy is at work or busy.

So, I'm glad I don't have kids.  They would be fat and have all kinds of behavioral and social issues.  And The Fuzz probably wouldn't like all the disturbance all the time.

Embarrassed Mom

So, we were running late for leaving the house this morning by 5 minutes.  Then there was all this brake light traffic on the 95.  So, we took a detour.

By the time we got to doggie daycare, it was 7:45, which is late for us.  There were several other dog parents dropping off their dogs.  And of course, Rudy had to bark at every dog and every person when we were walking in.  Even after I handed his leash over to the daycare counselor, he still kept barking.  The counselor was surprised at this.

When I was walking out, I noticed that someone had peed on the floor.  I'm pretty sure that Rudy made the other little dog do it....

For shame.  I walked out of there, hangdog expression on my face.

This day

What a sad anniversary this day is.  Sad doesn't describe it - woeful, sorrowful, horrible, tragic, ugly.  I don't like to post serious, depressing blogs on this blog, because it's supposed to be... not uplifting, maybe not lighthearted, but humorous in a black comedy making fun of myself and others kind of way.  But, how can one post a blog today and not talk about 9/11?

It's horrible to watch those documentaries that are on all day long.  Especially the ones that put together first person videos from bystanders.  I don't cry as much as I used to before Katrina, but stuff like this.  How can one watch it and not, at some point, be brought to tears?

What's interesting, is that I realized today, that my cousin-in-law and my uncle-in-law have the same birthday as the anniversary of Hurricane Katrina.  My other cousin-in-law (the sister and daughter of the previous two) has the same birthday, has her birthday on 9/11.  Very interesting.  Such nice people though.  Sucks to have that tragic reminder every year.

In light of the anniversary that is today, it seems petty and frivolous to recite the little things that happened to me today.  I mean, do you really care?  Oh, wait, you don't really care on an ordinary day with no significant anniversary, either!

So, let me just plow right through this blog so I can get some sleep...

Rudy has become more whiney when in the crate at night.  It's annoying.  If he ever needs something for real, how am I supposed to know?  It's the puppy who cried wolf!  (Do you know people who pronounce wolf "woof" for real, without trying to be funny?  I don't know what accent it is, but I vaguely recall one of my elementary school teachers did that.  I think it was the 4th grade teacher.)

 Rudy also barked at these old ladies hobbling with canes at the park.  For shame!  He discriminates against the physically challenged.

Which leads me to my mother-in-law.  She had a hip replacement surgery today.  I am not up on advances in medicine, that's for sure.  Because I never would have believed that hours after her surgery, they would be trying to get her to stand and walk on her replacement hip!  Crazy!  And her alleged recovery time is 3 weeks.  Insane!

And then the big news is that I finally got the FP to watch Breaking Bad.  I told him that he could watch the first episode - season 1, episode 1.  Then he could decide from there if he wanted to watch the whole series and catch up before... July (boo!!!).  I warned him, it probably, being the beginning, wasn't nearly as great as some of the later seasons.  Boy was I wrong.  I hadn't seen episode 1 in a long time.  It was really good.  And since I didn't remember it all, it was even better to watch it the second time!  The FP loved it, of course.  He said that I said it might not be that good, but it was one of the best first episodes he had ever seen.  I can't believe I have to wait until July for new episodes, AND that it's the last season!!!  At least I have 4 1/2 seasons to watch until then, I guess.

My other thing I need to tell you about is that I have to deal with my air conditioner.  I've been dreading the day that something would go wrong with it - as I've already heard others complain about not having working air conditioning and having to go days without it.  All of a sudden, I walked to the hallway, and there was water on the floor.  I changed the filter, but water still ran out.  So, I had to do what I really didn't want to do.  I had to take out the filter and look up at the grills while the FP held the flashlight for me.  If it weren't so low to the ground, I probably would have made him do it.  Of course, water started dripping down my back while I was trying to scrape gunk off with a paper towel, because of course we don't have a wire brush.  We should have taken the panel off and looked inside the unit, but it was dinner time and the spaghetti and italian sausage was calling.  So, we turned the AC off, turned the fan on, put towels under the AC and ate dinner.  From a short google search, and from what I've seen, it's probably a gross algae clog in the line that we will have to try to take care of tomorrow.  I sure hope it's an easy DIY fix!  Although, I see getting a shop vac in our future...

So, yeah, this was 9/11/12.

Put Your Best Paw Forward

In the life of Rudy and the FP and me, today was a good day.  Rudy enjoys it best when both the FP and I are off and we spend quality time together.

This morning we had a very nice and invigorating (even with the heat and humidity) walk on the beach.  He was attentive and not too jerky on the leash.  He didn't bark once during the walk.  He did however bark when he was back in the car.  This nice old lady who was parked next to us saw him and came over to say hi.  At first he didn't notice her.  She was telling me how her neighbor and her were taking care of a lab that they had found - and how sweet he was - and then cue Rudy's barking.

So rude.  Just like a kid to cut your conversation with strangers short when they get bored and cranky.

Later in the afternoon, we took a walk around downtown Hollywood.  He was still fairly attentive and well behaved.  He didn't bark at anyone, although he took interest in the few indigent people we saw.  But we kept him moving and didn't give him enough time to really smell or scrutinize them, so even if he was going to bark at them, he didn't have a chance.

After our second walkies, we stopped by Publix on the way home.  The FP went in to make groceries for dinner, and I stayed in the Element with Rudy.  He seemed antsy, so I decided to walk him around the parking lot and get more training.  Mostly, he just wanted to sniff the grass and try to eat palm nuts and stuff.  He did notice some people, but he didn't bark at anyone.

Then, this young couple with a baby seat on their cart were headed in our direction.  I couldn't tell what car they were going to, but I thought we should move away from them, as they looked wary, and so did Rudy.  I think the big rattling cart and the height the baby seat made Rudy uneasy.  So we headed a little down the aisle back to our car.  But then, this old lady was right behind them.  She headed toward us, as her car was right next to ours.  She said, oh what I nice doggie.  And then he started barking at her.  I told her that he still had to work on his training and his manners.  And she replied, oh, don't we all.


He did so well today (overall, for being Rudy, even with a few barking incidents at home), except for the two incidents with the old ladies.

Strike two for Rudy and nice old ladies.  What does he have against them?  They are so nice and understanding!

Let's Give Him Something To Bark About

Who sang that song, Bonnie Raitt or someone?

Yes.  I just googled it.  I'm not sure why I know that.

Anyway, this whole training the dog to not bark is difficult.

Unlike the way I was raised to keep my emotions internalized, my dog likes to try to express his emotions as best he can.

So, if he is feeling protective or insecure when someone comes near us, he barks.  I've been trying to ideally use "leave it" before he barks, and "no" and a chain jerk if he is barking.  But, in the heat of the moment (heat of the moment, telling you what your heart meant - Asia) I might get them mixed up, making for not the best trainer and confusing him.

But I'm trying.

Anyhoo, I've been bugging the FP about taking Rudy out to a bar and see how he does.  I mean, there has to be a first time if it can ever become a regular thing, right?  So, we did.  We took him to Jimbo's Sandbar.  It's this cool tiki hut dive bar on the intracoastal with tons of outdoor space.  So, we thought we could take Rudy to a corner of the place and try it out.   It was kind of away from everyone else.  But there was this big tall monster truck parked in the lot next to the table.  I feared that it was a little too close to us, and that the guy (I assumed a guy owned it) who owned it would walk right by us, and that if he left when we were there it would be so loud it would scare the shit out of Rudy.

Rudy was anxious on the drive there.  He didn't know where we were going.  We should have walked him around the neighborhood before we took him to the bar.

He was ok at first.  He wanted to go walk around and familiarize, but he was confined to the table area.  He was just looking.  I had a bagful of treats to divert his attention from barking... he was doing ok.

Then this shirtless redneck guy standing at the bar with his back to us started dancing.  And Rudy started barking at him all the way across the place.  So, I had to calm him down with a treat.  Then, later, the bartender was dancing a little when she was walking to a table, and Rudy started barking.  Then he started barking at every person that walked in his field of vision.  I was just feeding him nibble of treat after treat.  I had brought these duck jerky treats that were formed with a "skin" to look like a slim jim, but they were dry dehydrated flaky meat inside.  There was meat dust everywhere on the table.  And water too.  It reminded me of when people take their kids out to a restaurant, and the table is a mess by the end of the meal.

Then, my biggest fear happened.  The guy who owned the obnoxious monster truck was going to his car.  Rudy just went nuts barking like crazy.  I mean crazy!  The guy looked at him menacingly and rather than ignore him and walk away, he got closer.  Then he wanted to engage Rudy, and Rudy wanted no part of it, just a part of him in his mouth.  The guy insisted that once Rudy smelled his hand (which is what you do with dogs, hoping they won't decide to bite, of course) he would be fine.  Rudy quieted when the man offered his hand, then he started barking again.  The guy insisted again, that Rudy wanted to play, but that he was just protective.  He could tell that Rudy wanted to play because his tail was wagging.

Can I just tell you, a wagging tail does not automatically mean playtime!!!!!

I thought that was something that people who know about dogs know.  But this guy allegedly raised "racing dogs" - I think that was a euphemism for fighting dogs, but raising racing dogs is not admirable either.

Anyway, he was totally antagonizing Rudy, and Rudy was very unhappy.  He stepped on my pinky toe trying to get away from the guy, and it broke the skin.  Finally, the FP had the common sense to take Rudy and go for a walk.  But even then, the guy wanted to follow them and try to interact with Rudy.  But he kept barking.  He barked so much that he started to foam at the mouth.

We were embarrassed.  And crestfallen.  We had had such a great walk that morning by the beach.  He didn't bark at anyone, he was happy, and we jogged most of the way.  And now this.

We got the check and we bared through it as he tried to bark every time a server came back to the table.  I ran out of treats in my ziploc bag, so I had to go to the car to get more.  And then he ate all of that.   The FP was very generous with the small tab and tipped like 100% so that they would welcome us back, even though they were very nice about all the commotion that Rudy caused.  Some people at the bar even told the FP that Rudy was a good judge of character, because that guy who riled Rudy up was an asshole.

I was going to have to rethink my going -to- the- bar -with -Rudy treat selection.  Maybe a more chewy dense treat - a jerky type thing, or pig ear or something.  Not rawhide of course, because he goes beserk with rawhide and likes to chew those in private.  I stopped giving him those because he almost bit me when I gave him one.  He also thought he was boss and wanted to chew the rawhide on the bed, where he knows he is not allowed.  We would also have to scrutinize our table selection, and figure out how to handle Rudy while someone came up to the table to take our order or deliver a beer or something.

Anyway, that was Rudy's first trip to the bar.  Hopefully it will get better but not too painfully, right?!?!

Hemming and Hawing

That's what Rudy is doing.  It's 8:47pm, and he seems to be miffed that he is cooped up in the bedroom with us.  He was whining and barking when he was in the crate, so the FP relented and let him out into the bedroom.  But then he was whining at the door.

I know what you're thinking, "Maybe he has to go to pee pee or poo poo."  Maybe.  But, the go potty signal is more of a desperate bark.  Not so much a whiney barky thing...

And it's been several minutes that he's been asleep on the carpet.

So, now the FP has put him back in the crate with no protest.

But now the FP is hemming and hawing.  The bedroom is too hot.

It gets hot when the door to the bedroom is closed.  But the FP thinks the bedroom should be cool enough with or without the bedroom door closed.  Maybe.  But the thermostat is reading 77, which is hot for the FP.  So even if it is 77 in the bedroom, the FP is going to think it's hot.  I really don't know.  But I don't have money to get an AC repair guy out here, because, I know it will just cost us $1000.  That is the generic price for every repair.  We don't have that.

I don't know.

I'm just tired.  I spent the last couple hours chasing after Rudy yelling for him to get off the counter, get that piece of plastic or paper of whatever out of his mouth, get off the couch when we are eating.  And then I also was telling Stinksy to back off from my plate of food when I had to move to the dining room table to eat, so that I could make sure Rudy would stop jumping up on the counter.

I can't imagine having kids.....

Not Long Enough (that's what she said)

The day, that is.

So, I thought I was going to sleep in a little today.  I didn't just drift off to sleep yesterday, and I always need some recovery time after Sunday brunch, because I'm old and not as spry as I used to be.

So, anyhoo, that sleeping in thing didn't happen.  The FP called me around 6 am to tell me the news... he lost his iphone!

Can I say, it wasn't a shocker?  He most likely left it in the cab or it fell out of the cab or something.

The "funny" (not ha ha funny) is that that guy always had that damn phone in his hand.  He probably spent more consecutive hours holding that iphone and the previous iphone than the number of hours he spent holding my hand in his lifetime.

So, needless to say, I was up for the day.  I spent a while setting up the AT&T family map, which is free for 30 days.  I got it working, and it said that his phone was near the hotel.  So, I made him get up and go look on the street for it.  He couldn't find it.  A while later, the phone had apparently moved north.  I texted the phone (which doesn't have passcode security) and said that I have GPS tracker on the phone and the cops would be coming to find it.  A little later, the phone was back in the original spot.  It could be a coincidence.  Some people reported on a forum online how inaccurate the AT&T family map can be.  Or someone could have picked up the phone, saw the message and threw it back.

Anyway, after the FP gave up looking for it, I turned it off.

I went to the AT&T site to see what to do.  That's when I remembered, there was insurance!!!

So, I went to the link to make a claim.  It had a form to fill out and get notarized.  So, this could not be taken care of at 7 am...

So, I took Rudy to the park.  It was kind of swampy, and that guy did not want to walk!!!  So, I let him sniff around on the grass.  We meandered for possibly half a mile, which is better than no miles, I guess.  But I had so wanted to exercise him, because I needed to do errands.  I didn't want to crate up an energetic big puppy.  But, I could only take him stopping and sitting or laying down so many times.  I'm sure I gave a lot of people at the park a good laugh.  If I had seen myself walking Rudy, I probably would have followed us around to see what other funny antic he would pull.

After the park, I decided that I would just bring Rudy to daycare while I ran errands.  That would make us both happy.  He got half a day of play, and I got to run errands without worrying that I was taking too long.

After I picked him up, I tried to scrub the algae spots off the bottom of the pool.  I had bought swim goggles for the task, which, I have never worn in my life.  They hurt my face.  But I tried them.  But the algae scrubbing was a failure.  I couldn't gain enough scrubbing strength in my arm without floating back to the surface.  Guess I have too much body fat ratio - because they say fat is more buoyant, right?

Anyhoo, instead, I got Rudy to get in the pool.  I got a dog treat and floated it on the frisbee.  He barked in that whiny voice for a little while, but then he just kind of gave up and went in after it.  It was funny because he decided to just take the treat and leave the frisbee.  On his turn back, his nails scratched the fuck out of my stomach.  Fucker.

I got him to go in again to retrieve the frisbee, but then that was it for him.  He did the rolling around in the grass and running around the yard routine for a while.  I joined in, but with my house slippers, I was running like an old lady.

When we were about to go back in, I noticed blob on his head.  I thought it was leaf particle.  I went to grab it and it was soft.

I realized it was.... a big fat bloated tick!!!
Ack!!!

I had to deal with this now.  By myself.  We haven't had tweezers in ages.  So, I got panicky, and I grabbed a paper towel, to see if the thing would just pull off.  I guess it had enough to drink, because it came off really easily.  It was so bloated and gross.  But then I realized, there was a smaller one under it.  At first I thought it was the head, but the big bloated one had legs and a head, and this smaller one had legs and a head.

So, then, I had to find the needle nose pliers.  I grabbed the toolbox out from under the sink, and all these spiders had to run for cover.  The pliers were of course at the bottom.  Once I got the tools back in, I tried to coax Rudy.  I don't know if he felt uneasy because of the ticks or because he sensed I was trying not to freak out.  So, I kept trying to lure him with treats, but I guess the pliers looked menacing to him.  But I finally got him.  No matter what, the food will eventually lure him, even if it takes time.

Luckily, the thing came right off, and I was pretty sure I got the whole thing.  I put it in a ziploc baggie, just in case.  Then I called the vet to ask what the deal was.  Basically, they said, make sure to get the ticks off asap.  They said that flea and tick meds really don't repel ticks.  They should eventually die though, but it's better to just get rid of them and treat the yard for them.  So, I guess I'm going to have to do a little yard maintenance, even though it wasn't on the agenda for the day.....
even though the thought of going out there gives me the willies and the itchies!

Bite The Hand

All I can say, is, Rudy is a scary dog.  He came home and went straight into his crate while I was bringing stuff in from the car.  

That's normal.

But, then I realized he still had his leash on, so I went to take it off of him.  I reached in, and he growled and almost bit me.  I thought, he's sick or something.  So, I looked more closely in his mouth, and I saw that he had found a kitty kong and was chewing it.  

I tried to use "drop it" and jerked his collar, which of course didn't work, especially from that angle with him in the crate.

So, I had to lure him with a treat.  He dropped it really quickly.

But it still doesn't erase the fact that I'm scared of my dog.  I don't want to get nerve damage from him.  The way he bites when he does, seems to affect my nerves in my arm.

I don't like it.

I love that dog, but sometimes I just don't like him.

Waterboy

So, let's clear up about last night.  I felt like shit.  Probably had something to do with the junk food dinner I had... That's why I didn't blog.

Today I have something good to blog about!

Rudy finally jumped into the pool for the first time today!!!

So, he has been going in to the first step, no problem.  But that's as far as he can go very willingly.  If he goes any farther, he does a nosedive in the water.  So, he has gone out past the first step a handful of times.  Most of the time though, the FP "coaxes" or drags him deeper.  Once he gets swimming, it looks pretty graceful and effortless.  The difficult part is just getting him in the water.

So, we have been trying to lure him in with treats and toys, but most of the time he just barks desperately on the side because he can't reach the treat or toy.  So, then, maybe the FP will lead him into the water, and he can retrieve the toy or treat and swim back to the steps.

But today, after a while, he finally kind of jumped off the first step into the water to retrieve a soggy dog treat.  Then after that, he realized that it was easier to get in the water than he thought, so he slowly kept going in to retrieve the blue frisbee that the treat was on the first time.

And he went in several times.  Of course, the FP was being a typical father figure, trying to push him to go in the pool one time right after the other.  Rudy liked to have a few minutes in between to chew on the frisbee before going back in.  I thought Rudy looked like he was getting tired, so the FP let him take a breather.  But then after a little while, he was ready to go in again.

We just need him to figure out how to jump from the edge of the pool now.  It will come.  Then he will be ready for Bark Park dog swim.  There is a manmade lake there, with a nice drop off where people can throw tennis balls and dogs can jump off and swim to retrieve the ball.  Some of these dogs can jump really far.

Rudy should be able to jump too.  After all, he is a retriever!

We were such proud parents!  And in this day and age, no video of it.  But maybe tomorrow, or Saturday.

One Reason I Don't Have Kids

I don't have that much patience with Rudy.  

The FP left fish dip on the counter.  Of course, Rudy started licking it.  When I noticed, I yelled off.  Lick lick lick.  Off.  lick lick.  Off!  lick lick lick.  Off!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (with all this frustrated exhausted rage)  No fucking response.  The FP did the logical thing and took the fish dip away.

I couldn't eat any more fish dip - it was contaminated with The Fuzz's poo bacteria.

Gross.

Rudy started following the FP around like he was scared at me.  

While someone else might see a cute mischievous puppy, I see a naughty stubborn domineering pain in the ass who messed up my already messed up wrist yesterday.

That's why I shouldn't have kids.

What a relaxing day off

It started with the FP waking up before me.  I wanted to sleep in a little - say 30 minutes.  But shortly after the FP left the bedroom, Rudy started whimpering.  So, I had to let him out in case he had to poo poo pee pee.  So, I was up too.

I took the FP to work.  Then I went home and let Rudy out for a little while.

Then I nervously drove the Element to the auto repair shop hoping it wouldn't stop.  Luckily it didn't.  So, I waited about an hour to find out what was wrong with the car.  It was the alternator, as suspected.

So, I went across the street and waited for the Number 7 bus for about 20 minutes before it showed up.  I was going to transfer to the Number 6 to get a couple blocks from home, but I decided to walk rather than wait in the sun.  That was a good choice, since I did not see one bus pass me in the 20 - 30 minutes it took to walk home.

When I got home, I dragged Rudy to the park for a pull on the leash.  Then we went back home and I fed him.

I realized that there was no food in the house, and I couldn't bring food back before 30 minutes to an hour after he ate, because he would think he was boss.

Well, he already thinks he is.  He definitely gets more aggressive if we feed him first and then try to eat shortly after that.

So, I had to go out to eat.  I went to a nearby asian fast food place, called Go Bento!  Then I went home and went swimming.  I tried to entice Rudy to go swimmies, but he wasn't having it.

So, then, it was time to pick the FP up.  I left at 3:40.  We then went to pick up the car, which took 45 from the FP's work.  Then we stopped by the asian markets on the way home to get dinner stuff.

Finally, we got home at 5:45.  I jumped in the pool a bit.  The FP cooked dinner while I dragged Rudy around the neighborhood.

Then we ate.  Then Rudy ate.  Then we watched Locked Up Abroad.

Sometime during Locked Up Abroad, I heard the screen door slam.  I went out and found Stinksy outside chasing a gecko.  I picked him up to bring him back in, but he didn't want to go.  He is strictly an indoor cat, by the way.

Then the Fuzz went poo.  Then Rudy went to eat the Fuzz's poo.  Then I went to grab him out of the litter box and get the poo out of his mouth.  Then he got angry and tried to fight back and tried chomping on my arm.  Then I got angry and yelled and turned him over on his back and in the process woke the FP and scared the shit out of him.

Then I sent Rudy to bed.

But now, I think I need to brush his teeth... all I can think of is the poo germs festering in his mouth all night long.  Gross!

Another Lazy Post!

I love just posting photos or videos and calling it a blog post!

But, you must understand... we left home at 7 am, and we got home at 6 pm, so I'm a little tired from the day.

Here's Rudy in one of his favorite spots:

Here's Stinksy being cute!
http://youtu.be/XmFejCSlpsg

Here are the two laying on the lanai floor very close together:

It did not last for more than a couple minutes, but it's a big deal because sometimes Rudy seems like he wants to chomp Stinky in two, and sometimes, Stinky seems like he wants to slice Rudy's face to shreds.  So, I appreciate any fleeting moments of "harmony" even if it is' them laying in Rudy's clutter...

The First Taste

Is always the best.

Rudy got his first taste today.  His first taste of Hebrew National hotdog.

6 of them.  By accident, of course.  Although I know that some people feed their dogs hotdogs.  This is something I didn't think that he needed to taste.  I googled "my dog ate a pack of hotdogs", and found lots of threads.  One dog ate a pack of hotdogs, a baguette and hotdog buns.  So, that was way worse.  Rudy didn't even touch the buns that were sitting next to the hotdogs on the counter.

So, judging by the empty plastic torn up packaging on the floor, the first taste led to a second, and a third and a fourth and a fifth, and then a sixth.

Six hotdogs.  In one 50 pound dog.  Damn.  That's a lot of fat and salt for one dog.

And now he thinks he's top dog.  He's trying to lay on the bed, not wanting the cats to be on the couch with us.  The FP was trying to sleep, and he jumped on bed with him and was biting and growling.  

This guy can be a real PITA sometimes.

adulthood!

When I last took Rudy to the vet over a month ago, the vet told me to stop feeding him puppy food.  I had just bought a new big bag of puppy food, so he told me just to run it out and then start him on adult food.

So, today was the day.  We stopped at Petsmart on the way home and got him his big bag of adult food.  He was so excited, that he wanted to tear into it on the way home.  He kept trying to get at the back, which is a very small space in a very small car.  So, he could have if he had tried hard enough.  Luckily, we were only about 10 minutes from home.

So, you know, they (who they is, I really can't say) say that when you introduce a pet to new food, you want to slowly integrate it in with their old food, so that after a few meals, they will be eating only the new food.

I didn't do that.  The FP put away the huge bag of food, and he dumped the new onto the old in the Rudy's daycare food box.  So, I did try to scoop some of the old stuff from the bottom for his dinner, but I couldn't get at it, as those are little kibble and the adult large dog food is big kibble for the big mouthed dog.

They also say that your pet might refuse the new food at first, so the slow introduction might help.

Not a problem here.

The guy was so excited to eat this new food that he got all bark yappy while I was scooping it out.  And then he was even more ravenous than usual after he had his recommended portion.

I've never given him dog food or a dog treat that he turned down.

Never.

I've never knowingly or purposely gave him human food.  I don't need to unleash that can of worms - well, it would be more like unleashing an oil barrel of anacondas, really.

So, I think today, 2 days after his 6 month birthday (the day he bit his daddy), the day of my bff's birthday, is another momentous day for Rudy.

It's like when kids start drinking out of a sippy cup and start eating with a fork and knife or something.

Rudy's got his big boy pants on.  And they are pretty big pants at that!

I've got a big ass dog

laying under my chair.  And I keep being told by dog people that he's going to be much bigger!  What were we thinking when we picked him out?

Ok, he's still got a cute face.  But the barking at other people, dogs and the cats is driving me nuts.  The only time I want him to bark is when he is out back and is ready to come in, or if an intruder has broken into the house.  Those are the only times.

When I picked him up from the more hippie less posh daycare today, the lady said he has definitely grown a lot from the previous week!

When he is full grown, he will have outgrown our teeny little backyard.  He will have outgrown our little house and definitely, he's already too big for the Mini Cooper!  He tries to sit behind my seat on the floor, and there is no room for him there.  He's going to have to learn that he has to sit on the back seat (with the dog cover on).  Maybe if we don't have stuff in the car that will tempt him, we can just put the back down so he will have more room.  Although we will still try to keep him out of that car as much as possible for now.

Anyway, he's still a nice dog besides when he's barking or growling.  I guess other people have worse dogs that are all grown up.  I was looking at a facebook page for squishable.com, and I saw that they are working on a shiba inu squishable.  As some of you might know, a shiba inu is the ultimate doggie that tugs at my heartstrings... I was looking at the comments about how cute this shiba inu puppy is, and one person commented about how they had a shiba inu but he or she was not cuddly and sweet. :(

Awww... the FP just reminded me of why we got a puppy that was going to grow into a monster... because he was such an adorabs (yes, I feel this abbreviation is appropriate in this case) little cutie when he was a baby!!!  I mean ubercute (once again, appropriate adjective in this case).

How could anyone not adopt this sweet looking little guy?!?

Parenting

of pets, that is.  Some people think we're silly for spending so much money on our "kids" but they are our kids, who we chose to have.  So we must take care of them to the best of our ability.

-And that may mean taking a cat named The Fuzz to the vet for skin allergies one week.  And that visit to the vet may result in purchasing expensive allergy meds that we have to give the cat every day.  And it never gets easier.  She hates it and resists every morning.

-And that may also mean taking the dog named Rudy to the vet the next week for an ear infection.  And that visit may result in purchasing ear medicine, and having to go to the store to get a new ear cleaner because the one that we have isn't the right one.

-And that may mean making sure there are tissues in the car.  My mom always had tissues in the car.  I mean, she always had boxes and boxes of tissue, and always one in the car.  And today, when Rudy was dripping green snot down his nose, I realized that we now need to stock tissues in the car too.

One of the cons of having kids was the expense of taking care of them.  Sure, we're not spending the same money on the "kids" as we would on real kids,  but it's still a chunk of bills.

One of the other cons of having kids was cleaning poop and pee and throw up, and also, the much dreaded green snot.  And, yeah, I've had to clean up all of those.  The one difference between kids and dogs and green snot, is that you can tell a kid to blow his nose into a tissue and he can understand and perform that action.  When you hold a tissue to a dog's runny nose, he just tries to eat the tissue.

*sigh*  I guess our kid is one of those (liquid) booger eaters.

Leave IT!

Rudy failed.  But really, his failure is my failure, isn't it?

I put a dog treat on the coffee table.  He looked at it.  He laid down in front of it and stared at it intensely.  Then he acted like he was over.  Several minutes later, when I was distracted on the computer, he went straight for it.  He already had it in his mouth and was chewing when I said "Leave It!" and jerked the chain.

Lil fucker.

So, I'm giving him a second chance.  This time it's easier though, because he's tired and just lying on his bed.

He's so good at training when he knows he's being tested.  As soon as he thinks the session is over and we aren't paying attention, he fucks up.

He's a greedy little thing.  I was reading this ebook about Labrador Retrievers, and it said, "Labrador Retrievers are a greedy breed."  LOL!  That is so true.  I know dogs in general are greedy.  But this guy's main purpose in life is to search out objects (edible or inedible) to put in his mouth.  Often, he eats the inedible as well as the edible.  I'm pretty sure he will probably meet his demise because of something he eats.  I'm not saying I advocate him picking up everything in sight, it's just, sometimes he sneaks things.

Hold on, there's a knock on the door... Oh Shit, I think it's the SPCA!

Rudy Doesn't Like Fetch

So, I know that all dog owners say how smart their dog is.  I would say Rudy is at least above average.  He knows:

Sit
Shake
Down
Crawl
Rollover
Stay (kind of)
Thru (for doorways)
Off (even though he doesn't even obey it)
No (even though he doesn't even obey it)
No Bite (he acts like he doesn't understand this one)
Take it

But he either doesn't "get" fetch, or he doesn't like the idea of "retrievering" something and bringing it back....

HE IS A RETRIEVER!!!!

I don't think he knows that.  I think he thinks he's a Labrador Greedy Eater.  I mean, he puts everything in his mouth and he eats half of everything he puts in his mouth.

I feel like someone is going to read one of these blogs and report me to the SPCA because of some of the things I have said about him.  I don't remember if I have called him names on this blog, but I might have been heard to call him Dick once or twice.  It's really just a pet name.  But maybe someone would hear that and see him choke from his collar and call the SPCA.  That would be hilarious.  They would do an interview, and it would be like this:

We have rearranged our lives and the cats' lives for our puppy.
We spent hundreds of dollars on him even before we got to actually take him home.
We buy him fancy puppy food.
We buy him a new toy every week or two.
We feel bad if we have to leave him in his crate more than an hour during the day, or if we have to leave him in the crate twice in one day.
We take him to doggie daycare.
We take him to the park for walkies and to the dog park.
We have been spending hundred of dollars on training for him and us.
He sleeps in the bedroom with us.

And then they would take him away!

comparing doggie daycare

So, I think the whole idea of doggie daycare is pretty interesting.  Like the business can try to make an environment that the dogs feel more comfortable with, or one that the parents feel more comfortable with, or hopefully something in between.

So, good ole Rudy is making the tour.   He's been to 3 different doggie daycares to date, and I don't necessarily want to take him to many more, but because of location and hours, we've had to try these different ones.

So, the first one is the one in Fort Lauderdale, which is on the way to work.  Camp Canine.  He went there 3 days in a row, and he loved it.  This one smelled like dog pee and deodorizer.  We didn't get to see the outside area because you would have to go through the big dog room to go out, but, you know, it had these fancy kennel areas and these rooms with lots o dogs playing with the "camp counselors."  There was also a cat room where they would let cats roam out of the kennel one at a time.

The one in Hollywood, he's been to once.  Camp Canine Hollywood.  So, this one smells cleaner.  The kennel area seems more.. SPCAish.  Old SPCAish, not like the fancy ones that have doggie and kitty condos with cool furniture, more like cages.  This one was smaller, but less dogs go here.

So, the new place that we took him to today was called Petropolis.  It is off of Dixie Highway, which is a more shady area.  So it's in this nondescript building with no windows.  When you walk in, you are hit with the smell of dog and piss and more piss.  The small dog enclosure is right there in the front room and they are all really barky and there is like used dog beds and stuff.

The outside area though, was better than the Camp Canine outside area that we saw in Hollywood.  The Camp Canine had astroturf and it wasn't very big.  The Petropolis outside area was fairly big.  It was like a dog park in the backyard.  It had lots of grass, chairs and enrichment structures and a fire hydrant on the top of a little hill.  It was... earthy.  The owner is this shaggy hippie looking soft spoken guy.  When we brought Rudy in to see how he would fare, it was like an episode of the Dog Whisperer.  We took him to the outside area, and then the owner introduced one dog, then another, then a few more, then some more.  Pretty soon, there were a bunch of big dogs all chasing him and smelling him.  He definitely got a little overwhelmed.  One big dog started getting a little rough with him, and the owner had to pull him off and put him back in.  He didn't look like he was going to actually hurt Rudy, I don't think, he just was trying to show him that he was boss, I think.

Anyway, we took him back today for the longest daycare ever.  from 7 am to 5:20 pm.  He was in with the little dogs.  When the counselor opened the gate, he ran out.  I don't know if he actually knew we were there or he was ready to get out of dodge.  There were still a lot of dogs there - I don't know if they were staying for the weekend or if they were rescue dogs, but there seemed to be a lot of them from the day before.  And they were all so rambunctious.

So, Petropolis seems a little weird, but he seems just as happy (from what we see) at that one as at the others.  Although, I don't think we will be taking him here unless we need to on Sundays, because they open earlier.  This place is the most inconvenient because of it's location, and we already bought several day passes for the other two places as well...

I never thought I would necessarily be one of those people who brought their dogs to daycare.  I mean, it's not cheap, and tons of people have dogs that they just leave at home all day to roam free.

I can't ever imagine this guy being trustworthy enough to be able to stay home out of the crate alone!

Express

I don't have much to say tonight.  I just want to throw out a term for you guys, especially you dog lovers, you sick people you.

ANAL GLAND EXPRESSION.

Have any of you actually done this?  It's squeezing liquid out of the glands on either side of the.... you guessed it, the anus!!!!

Gross.  I saw this on the list of grooming rates at the doggie daycare place.  Last night, I didn't sleep the best, and I had dreams of my one gaysian (Filipino) boss saying, "Do you want to express your dog's anal glands?  You really should?"

So, I just had to google it.  The first thing that showed up was a video on ehow.

GAH- RAH----OSSSSS!!!!!!!

I mean, you squeeze in and up right near the anus, and this like camouflage colored liquid is supposed to come out.

Yuck!  If anyone had ever told me about this, I don't know if I would have adopted a dog.  Maybe I'll pay the $10 to have it done if it becomes necessary.

Gross. Gross.  Gross.  I hope I never have to do this!