Kids vs Dogs

I know I've discussed this topic before, but I just need to revisit for a bit.

As I type this, that dog of mine, Rudy, is barking at the back door, because the neighbor dogs are barking.  Rudy loves to bark.  He barks to go out.  He barks to play.  He barks when we throw a toy in the pool and he can't get at it. He barks to go to daycare.  He barks at other dogs.  He barks at people.  He will lay down or stand in the backyard and bark at seemingly nothing.  That seemingly nothing sometimes may be other dogs far away that I cannot hear, or not.

Kids don't bark.  They talk and yell.  If other kids yell, they may also yell.  But if kids yell, you can't grab them by the collar and shove them in a crate.  Kids will tell you exactly how they feel (I hate you mommy) while with dogs, there is a lot of guessing (I hate that you don't feed me all day long and aren't hanging out with me 24/7).

Dogs can be as expensive as you let them.  So can kids.  If you don't spend enough on kids though, there is more of a chance of you getting in trouble for it.

I've spent a lot of time training this dog, but not nearly enough.  If he was a kid, it would be even less quality time than what would be acceptable.

I like sleep.  This dog, who is not yet a year old, sleep soundly enough most nights.  I don't have to worry too often that he will wake me up in the middle of the night to go potty or whatever.  Not like babies and kids.  I see so many facebook posts about people being tired because the kid kept them up all night.  Those first few months of having to get up a couple of times a night to let the puppy out were so exhausting - and that was only a few months.  Now this guy has a bladder bigger than mine.  I have to get up in the middle of the night sometimes, way more often than Rudy.

Kids are nice, but so are dogs and cats and miniature ponies and pot bellied pigs, etc.  No one ever nags couples to ask them when they are going to get a dog, cat, miniature pony, pot bellied pig, etc, do they?

I know why kids get fat

because they were annoying their parent(s), so it's easier to distract and entertain with food.

My babysitter was the TV and food.  Luckily for me and my doctor mom, I had the hyperactive skinny gene as a kid.

Anyway... I used food to stop Rudy from annoying me tonight.  We were trying to watch Breaking Bad.  The FP was eating popcorn right after Rudy ate his dinner.  So, Rudy was trying to eat the FP's popcorn.  So, it was my job to distract him with the laser light game.  But, the FP was taking forever to eat the popcorn.  And Rudy kept coming back to him to try to get the popcorn.  So, finally, I got out the deer antler.  And he went away and he stopped jumping on the couch and stuff.  He was just scraping his teeth on that antler.

It's kind of gross and weird when you think about it - a dog chewing on a deer antler.  Do hunting dogs see antlered game and think, "yum, I can't wait to chew on one of those antlers!"

Why is that not as weird as chewing on, say, a cow bone?  I guess because I don't eat antlers.

Anyhoo, it seems like a lot of dog toys are really about getting them entertained by themselves without human interaction.  Not all of them, but a lot.  And they make a disclaimer on the package by saying that the dog should be supervised when chewing on the plastic bone or whatever.  Right.  A plastic bone is so a dog will sit quietly while mommy or daddy is at work or busy.

So, I'm glad I don't have kids.  They would be fat and have all kinds of behavioral and social issues.  And The Fuzz probably wouldn't like all the disturbance all the time.