Scarce Supplement

I started delving into probiotics in 2011.  I was always getting "sick".  I say "sick" because it would feel like the flu or a cold.  I would do extra push ups, or jog or walk farther than usual, and the next day I would feel bad.  It never grew into a cold or flu - just hovered at feeling like I was going to get worse for a couple days, and then it would dissipate.  I feel like during that time, one of my most used phrases was, "I think I'm getting sick."  I wasn't working at the time, so I knew it wasn't being rundown.  I searched the internet for hours.  Finally I found threads with people who had the exact same symptoms.  And finally, I was starting to find possible answers.  When I was pushing my body to higher physical limits, the stored up energy was all used, and all the bad flora in my gut was being processed for energy, thus making my body sick.

So I started researching what to eat.  I looked at candidiasis, and it had some symptoms that I experienced - fatigue, digestive issues, sinus infections, and joint pain.  I printed up a big list of what to eat and what not to eat.  It was so long.  And I would never follow it to the letter.  But, I started thinking more about what I consumed.  This was probably the first time in my life that I really thought about eating healthier.

I had mostly just eaten whatever I wanted all my life.  It didn't help that I was born with a pretty good metabolism.  When I was growing up, my parents weren't home very much.  My mom did cook a couple times a week so we always had food for dinner that we could heat up if we didn't eat as a family.  But other than that, I was never denied anything at the grocery store.  My mom preferred that I got food I would eat, rather than me not eating at all.  I think a lot of parents today would look at our shopping cart from back then and be horrified.

Anyway, I set about trying to eat better.   I started with Activia.  This was a popular product at the time, and Jamie Lee Curtis was always on TV telling me it would make me regular.  SNL was on Saturday night telling me it would give me instant diarrhea.  I wasn't working at the time, so I figured it was the best time to try it out.  I at that yogurt every day.  For like 2 weeks.  And it just constipated me.  I didn't poo for 2 weeks.  And then I finally stopped it.  I couldn't take it anymore.  I started just eating regular yogurt every day.  And then I started trying to eat the supposedly healthier yogurt with more active cultures and less corn syrup.  And I felt better.  I started walking to the grocery store, which was a mile and a half away.  I tried to get better snacks - like more trail mix than candy.  I knew I wasn't gonna go vegan, but I just tried to eat better.  Of course, cooking at home with all my free time was better than getting carne asada fries at the local taqueria.  And, I started to feel better.  I had more energy, and I didn't feel as achy.  

So, I tried to keep up with the yogurt.  And then I tried other probiotic type things.  Eventually I turned to Kombucha, and probiotic gummies.  I settled for the gummies on a daily basis, because they were easier to eat and cheaper.  I've been taking the gummies for years now.  My first regular brand was Digestive Advantage.  But they weren't always available, so I would switch to whatever was available.

So, last year, I added to my immunity regimen.  Everyone around us was getting sick.  I had Zicam, but that's really for after you start feeling sick, and it made me jittery.  So, one day I discovered Elderberry gummies.  I read up about elderberry, and it sounded good.  So I bought some.  And we started taking it.  It was a bonus that it tasted delicious.  Neither of us got sick, so I kept buying it.

Months later, there's this new virus thing going around that can spread really easily and it's lethal.  And all of a sudden, all the probiotics and elderberry gummies are off the shelf in every store I visit.  There are signs on those empty shelves that say limit of 2 per customer.  Everyone's trying to ramp up their immune system.  Probiotics and elderberry probably don't stave off novel coronavirus, but it's worth a try... It just sucks, because I was taking them long before they became the hottest new health fad.  Ok, maybe not that long, but before they became so popular that the stores couldn't keep the supply up to meet the demand.  Geesh.  It's like trying to find toilet paper!  Hopefully when this pandemic is over very soon, everyone will go back to not taking probiotics and elderberry, and I'll be able to have my pick of the shelves!

Pro- Probiotic

So, I make lots of dumb decisions, or non-decisions, rather.  There is always so much going on in my head that I have to wade through, that I often get bogged down in my brain and end up being non productive.  

So, what the fuck am I babbling about anyway?

If you couldn't get it from the title, I'm talking about probiotics.  I ran out of them a month or two ago, and I kept being too lazy to get them.  So, I had the same old affliction again last week.  I went on two walks with Rudy, and took him to the dog park where I have to walk around to keep him moving, so it was really like three walks.  So, it was like I might have walked over three miles.  Which might not sound a lot, but the morning walk included some jogging.  So, that's a lot of energy expenditure for me.  I have no stamina, and I've had that chest thing for a while too.

So, I started to get that run down feeling.  I definitely felt tired every day at work, and I would get those dizzy spells that I used to get.  So, I finally got the vitamins and probiotics that I needed and I started taking them again.  Before the probiotics, I was always feeling shitty and on the verge of getting sick, especially when I would push myself with exercise.

Today, though, I woke up feeling like total shit.  My head felt heavy.

Ok, I'll confess, I did take just a tiny bit of a generic tylenol pm.  Just a bit, and I took it early.  But still, I thought, maybe that was why I felt like shit.  But after the coffee, and the poo, and the drive to work and getting set up for brunch, I still felt horrible.  So, I drank lots of water.  And I drank a glass of OJ.  But still, I felt dizzy.  And I was freezing every time I went into the walk in.  So, it was hot in the kitchen today, but I sweat my ass off, and I may have had a fever.  It's hard to tell though.

So, anyway, here I am, back on the probiotics.  I hope they help in the long term, because I know in the short term they won't be a solution.

Whelp, back on the nyquil too.  I need something to help me sleep, which will help me relax, which will help me recover.  I don't feel like I have enough time to really relax.  Because there's always my mind mucking about, even when my body is at rest.

Candide about Candida

Have you heard of candida?  It's not a new thing or anything.  It's yeast that resides in our bodies.  So, when I read up on probiotics, there was a little mention of candida, but I didn't pay much attention.  Lately, though, with my cold or flulike illness, I started researching again.  Every time I do some strenuous exercise, I can't expect to get sick.  That's bullshit.  How is one supposed to get healthy if exercise just puts one down for the count for a week?

Anyway, I was talking about Candida.  Yeast.  Yes, the same that gives the ladies a yeast infection.  The same that may promote chronic heat rash.  Apparently, this stuff can spread to one's whole body.  So, I guess taking probiotics and putting them in the mix with the candida strain isn't enough to kill the candida.  You have to take enzymes that break them down.  But, you may need to take something to detoxify, to clean up from the dead yeast.  Yuck.

I don't have a yeast infection in my cha cha, if you're wondering.  I do often have the white stuff on my tongue, though, whether or not I'm feeling sick.  I'm often tired, and dizzy, and have a mental cloud, and my arms get numb, and I crave sugar and yeast products.  I was having regular bowel function on and off until the past week or so, around when I got sick.  I have all the symptoms that relate to your body being inundated with candida.  Coincidentally, mostly the same symptoms of hypothyroid.    And, apparently, if you treat for candida, you are also treating for hypothyroid.  Well, we will see.  We will see if I'm buying more supplements that are just placebos or not.

Maybe I'm being sold snake oil on the internets, but I'm going to try this.  Several months ago when I found the exercise/illness/probiotics forum, I was skeptical.  But I tried it, and it worked.  Until now.  So, I'm trying something more.  Yeah, I could go to a doctor and spend 3 times as much and not get any definite answer.  Or I could be prescribed some drugs just to make myself feel better.  Or I can try this regime for a while and see what happens.

One thing I will not do though, is have an enema.  I just can't do it.  It's too gross!

Ring In The New Year...

You know how they say that how you ring in the new year determines how the rest of your year goes.  That's just bullshit.  I've had some shitty new year's eves and new year's days, but the whole year was not determined by the one night or day.

And I hope this year follows suit.  I'm sick.  I haven't gotten sick in a while.  I thought that taking probiotics would make me invincible.  Well, it didn't, but I feel much healthier than I did before the probiotics, or the "good" bacteria.  It sucks, because I felt like shit this morning.  Then the coffee kicked in and I felt way better.  We ate lunch, then I messed around with the pool trying to figure it out.  Then I was just watching TV and on the computer.  I felt fairly normal.

Until we went to the bar.  We had to go watch the Steelers since it wasn't on TV.  We went to the bar.  I got a beer and a water.  I didn't really want a beer.  But, I felt like I needed to have a beer.  You go to a bar, you can't just sit there and watch the Direct TV for free.  It's not right.  I have watched people sit at a bar and drink Coke.

There was this Steelers couple in San Diego.  I watched them sit there and drink water.  And then one of them got a Coke.  And then they ordered sweet potato fries.  But they were overfried or something, so they sent them back to be recooked.  Three and a half to four hours of occupying bar space for a Coke and sweet potato fries.  So, assuming the Coke was even charged for, that's $2 for the Coke, and $7 for sweet potato fries.  $4.50 a person for 3 hours.  Plus, I have a feeling they aren't the biggest tippers.

Getting back to the present and the beer I had at the bar.  I drank about 2/3 of it over the course of maybe 2 hours.  Smoking is permitted in the bar.  It was very smokey, even though not many people were smoking.  I'm still not used to smokey bars after 6 years of going to smoke free establishments.  What really did me in though, was when we moved from the bar to a table to be closer to the TVs showing the Steelers game.  The air conditioning was blowing right over the table to where we moved.  I put my hoodie on.  It didn't help.  Finally, I had to bail.  I left the FP there, and I came home.

I think a week and a half of no exercise, followed by a strenuous kayak trip and then the longest hardest run I've done in at least a year probably did it.  That's what you call overdoing it.  But, I have to get back into shape.  I'm so weak right now, I can't even get the battery off the cordless drill my sis lent us.

So, anyway, it's going to be a great shiny new year with everything wrapped with a giant shiny red bow, right?

Okay, maybe not.  But, hopefully, I will get a job.  And the FP will get a job too.  And we will meet cool and exciting people.  And we will get a puppy.  And we will get to see friends and family.  And every little thing gonna be alright, just like the Bob Marley song.

So, what's my New Year's resolution.  To be a better person.  And to try to work on this blog to bring you quality humorous writing on a daily basis, rather than bogging you down with unfunny things.

Speaking of Supplements

So, let's talk about my digestive system today. It will be great practice for when I'm 85 and that's all I will ever want to talk about.

I have been having this issue with exercise. I'm lazy. Wait, no, that's not the issue we are going to discuss today. For several years, whenever I start exercising, I start out fine. I get tired and achey, but I keep going. When I get to the point where I start pushing harder, I get sick. It's like a cold or flu type thing, and it lasts from a day to a week or more. Every time. I thought that maybe I could exercise while unemployed and not have this problem. So I tried it, and I was sick for a few days. When I felt better, I went out for a couple drinks. The next day I had a relapse and felt even worse for about four days!

So, here's what I've been doing. I go for a jog with my husband, The Food Pimp, or TFP. This is great for him because it's his warmup before he goes running for 10 or 15 miles. So we go through our neighborhood and down the hill towards Balboa Park. When we get to the bottom of the hill with the gnarly intersection, I turn around and jog back home. I go faster, but I'm still jogging. I try to make it all the way to two or three blocks before home, and then I walk. When I get home I do a few push ups, maybe crunches or not, some simple free weight stuff with my little green 5 pounders. That's about it. I just kind of increase little by little.

I started researching online. What I usually found was that it was allergies, asthma, weak lungs, bronchitis, stuff like that. I do have allergies, and sometimes I would take allergy pills daily, but that never worked. I tried a couple of times to use an inhaler before jogging, because there's this exercise induced asthma. That didn't work.

I generally would get weak and dizzy at work if I had been pushing myself hard or not eating or sleeping right, or whatever. Of course, it would be worse if I had been exercising. I started taking vitamins a couple years ago and that seemed to help somewhat with the dizziness. It didn't help with the exercise flu thing, though.

So, the last time I looked this thing up online, I found whole thread about probiotics. It was a revelation. Yogurt. Like the Jamie Lee Curtis commercials. There was comment after comment from people being so excited that they were not the only one and that there was a solution to the problem!

So, the deal is, without the proper flora in your system (because I have tons of fauna pass through - going south, that is, not north, thank you) when starting exercise or stepping it up, more fat needs to be metabolized, which is one of the main objectives of exercising. So if you have a shitty lifestyle or diet with junk food, preservatives a lot of alcohol, etc, or you don't have the right bacteria in your gut, then you may have a lot of toxins stored in your fat. So, with increased exercise, there is increased kidney and liver function, and some toxins get "backed up" into your blood stream.

So, I went to the stores looking for probiotic tablets, which they are not widely available yet, and some can be pretty expensive. I ended up going to Jamie Lee Curtis route. Activia. It was not too pricey, and it had that 14 day guarantee and all. So, I got blueberry and peach, I think. So, I went home and ate one. It tasted fine. I sat back to see what would happen. Terrible bloating and gas. Horrible gas. I mean, it probably could be used in a gas chamber to at least knock someone unconscious, and then when they threw up they would choke to death. I felt terrible, and I felt especially bad for the FP, who had to inhale these noxious fumes. It lasted for like 12 hours.

The next day, when the FP saw the tub of Activia come out of the fridge, he said, "Oh no!" and ran for cover. I didn't get anything this time, except for a slight gurgling.

I ate this Activia for four days. In these four days, I did not take one shit. I think I tried, maybe squoze a rabbit pellet or two out, but no relieving dumps. Something happened after the fourth day, and I didn't have Activia for one or two days. But then I started again, and ate it for another week. Nothing. I was quite plugged up. I finally stopped eating it, and switched to greek yogurt, which is way more delicious anyway, and after a couple more days I took a glorious shit. I mean a rainbow came out of my ass, and it glowed gold from the pot and a leprechaun tried to claim it.

I just don't get it though. The SNL skit about Activia is that it makes you diarrhea your pants. I'm always weird and backwards, though, so I guess that makes sense. I tried to google "Activia and constipation", and all I could find was that it alleviated normal people's constipation within a day or two of starting the Activia regimen.

So, I've been eating greek yogurt, that pourable yogurt drink or regular old Yoplait when there's nothing else. The other day I also bought these probiotic tablets that were on sale so that if we run out of yogurt I have something.

I started exercising again this week. This is fourth day of some kind of exercise. I haven't gotten sick so far. I'm going to see how far I can push this, since I don't really need to be well for any reason in particular, besides writing this blog every day and the other two blogs every few days. So, I'll keep you posted.