Old Wives Tales

So, I've been thinking about my mysterious illness.  Which I believe might be candida.  But, I don't know if I currently have health insurance - as I'm between carriers - and I doubt all the tests and treatments would be included in my coverage anyway.  So, I'm only going by my laptop diagnosis.  I mean, maybe I have some horrible terminal illness, or one of my organs is shutting down and I don't even know it because I'm focusing on the wrong thing.

Anyway, one thing I was thinking about was the old cold and flu prevention my mom always told me to do.  Gargle with warm salt water.  Any time I said I was getting sick, she would say, "gargle with warm salt water."  Then she would go on to say that she did it regularly to prevent illness.  Well, she was a doctor and she rarely got sick, even though she dealt with sick people every day.  So, I was thinking about this whole bodily imbalance and well being and all that.  And I thought about how what I believe plagues me and might plague other countless unsuspecting people is candida, which is a yeast.  And one of the common places where it proliferates is in the mouth.  And, well, salt can kill yeast if added directly or in large quantities.  So, maybe there was more sense in my mom's home remedy advice than I thought.  Although, at the same time, anytime I was sick, she would tell me to take antibiotics.  I have taken antibiotics all my life.  I didn't even realize that the younger generations are terrified of antibiotics and only take them if it's dire.

So, the other thing I was thinking about was how my sister used to chug out of the apple cider vinegar jug when we were kids.  So, my mom usually kept a gallon jug in the cupboard under the counter along with cooking wine and other liquids.  And we would often see my middle sister squatting in front of the cupboard taking a swig of the old ACV.

Turns out, I was researching candida treatments, and one suggestion is to take a little apple cider vinegar every day.  My sister, like my mom, rarely ever got sick.  I guess there was something they both intuitively knew.  But while my mom was gargling warm salt water and my sister was drinking from the ACV jug, I was eating one of the many Entenmman's cakes or pies in the house, or ice cream, or chips, or cereal with extra sugar sprinkled on it.  All things that yeast loves.

Which reminds me.  I have these damn Italian cookies in the pantry that are calling to me.  "Please, eat us all.  Get rid of us so you can go on a fun and strict candida cleanse with a liquid diet.  You know you want to."

I don't think I could do a cleanse for any amount of time.  I don't have the discipline.  The first time I felt weak and hungry, I would probably run to the Wendy's down the street and get a double cheeseburger with large fries, chicken nuggets and a frosty.  Seriously, just saying that made me want a cheeseburger.  What the hell is wrong with me.  I think candida took over my brain long ago, and impregnated my mind with obsessive thoughts of food.  Damn you candida and my bastard brain baby!

Candide about Candida

Have you heard of candida?  It's not a new thing or anything.  It's yeast that resides in our bodies.  So, when I read up on probiotics, there was a little mention of candida, but I didn't pay much attention.  Lately, though, with my cold or flulike illness, I started researching again.  Every time I do some strenuous exercise, I can't expect to get sick.  That's bullshit.  How is one supposed to get healthy if exercise just puts one down for the count for a week?

Anyway, I was talking about Candida.  Yeast.  Yes, the same that gives the ladies a yeast infection.  The same that may promote chronic heat rash.  Apparently, this stuff can spread to one's whole body.  So, I guess taking probiotics and putting them in the mix with the candida strain isn't enough to kill the candida.  You have to take enzymes that break them down.  But, you may need to take something to detoxify, to clean up from the dead yeast.  Yuck.

I don't have a yeast infection in my cha cha, if you're wondering.  I do often have the white stuff on my tongue, though, whether or not I'm feeling sick.  I'm often tired, and dizzy, and have a mental cloud, and my arms get numb, and I crave sugar and yeast products.  I was having regular bowel function on and off until the past week or so, around when I got sick.  I have all the symptoms that relate to your body being inundated with candida.  Coincidentally, mostly the same symptoms of hypothyroid.    And, apparently, if you treat for candida, you are also treating for hypothyroid.  Well, we will see.  We will see if I'm buying more supplements that are just placebos or not.

Maybe I'm being sold snake oil on the internets, but I'm going to try this.  Several months ago when I found the exercise/illness/probiotics forum, I was skeptical.  But I tried it, and it worked.  Until now.  So, I'm trying something more.  Yeah, I could go to a doctor and spend 3 times as much and not get any definite answer.  Or I could be prescribed some drugs just to make myself feel better.  Or I can try this regime for a while and see what happens.

One thing I will not do though, is have an enema.  I just can't do it.  It's too gross!