Tree Stand Follies

So, as is customary for me, I have such big plans for the holidays, but then other elements of life get in the way.

And here I was three days before Christmas, trying to get in the holiday spirit, finally.

Actually, it started with last night, when I was frantically combing the entire tiny house.  I was looking for the Christmas tree stand.  I was thinking of going to get a tree last night, but I never found the stand.  We had packed that stand in San Diego and brought it here to Florida.  I remember the debate about it.  How we might want a tree a month later, since we moved in November.  And, it didn't take up all that much room in the cube.

So, there I was, searching all over.  I couldn't find the damn thing.  And they aren't that cheap either.  Which is why I wanted to keep it.  Is it possible that we brought it all the way here to our crappy apartment, and then when we moved into the house, we decided not to keep it?  That just doesn't sound like me....

So, I woke up early this morning and went straight to Home Depot across Sheridan to beat the traffic and get a tree.  When I got there, Home Depot was open.  But the tree lot was all chained up.  There were a bunch of dried out brown looking trees all thrown in the back of the lot.  I guess I could have asked if they were bringing more trees in, but it looked doubtful.

So, I went to Kmart across the street to look for a tree stand.  They only had fake trees, so, they didn't have live tree stands.  Then I went back across the street to Big Lots.  Lots of Christmas crap that they were consolidating, but no tree stand.  Then I went back across the street to go to Office Max and get planners for 2013, since the whole Mayan apocalypse thing didn't pan out.  But Office Max was closed, because I forgot it was still early.

So, I figured I would just drive down Stirling and maybe find a Christmas Tree tent.  I didn't.  So I had to drive all the way over to the other Home Depot.  They had a ton of trees, so I bought this little 6 footer.  But they were all out of stands.  Really?  Really!  The guy told me there was a shortage and it was easier to find a tree than a stand.  Why though, why?

Oh, and I wasn't thinking, so I don't know if I was allowed to tip him, but I didn't.  I hope I wasn't supposed to, because, then I feel like an asshole.  Even though if I thought about it, I would have tried anyway.  But I didn't, and I suck.

So, I went across the street to Target, even though I knew they wouldn't have a stand.  And they didn't.

So, I drove all the way south to Walmart.  No live trees.  Lots of fake trees.  There was this amazing little purple lighted tree.  If I knew what the price was, and it was cheap, and there were boxes of them readily available, I would have bought one.  I still might go after Christmas to see if I can get one!

But anyway, they didn't have a live tree stand.

I was contemplating how I could turn our empty planter into a tree stand.  I thought it might involve putting holes in it and finding big screws to hold the tree in place.  That sounded like too much work.  But I thought I might have to.

So, I was driving home on 441, when I saw a Christmas tree tent.  With a bunch of stands!  So, I pulled over.  I asked this slow old man how much they were.  The big one was like $30, the medium was $25, and the small was $20.  I asked for the small one.  Apparently, the only small one left was holding a small tree up and he proceeded to take the tree out.  When I saw that, I told him I would take the medium one.  I think that was just a scam, but it worked.  He told me the medium one was sturdier and would last longer anyway, maybe 5 or 6 years.  But I couldn't even keep one for one year!

So, I got my damn stand.  So, I raced home and put the tree in the stand and filled it with water.  And Rudy drank from the water, of course.  But now, ten hours later, the tree still isn't fluffed out.  The branches are still at a 45 degree angle.

But anyway, the FP put what lights we had in the house on the teeny tree.  And it looks so cute.  I won't post a picture though, until we finish putting the ornaments on it.  So hopefully tomorrow.

Here's to a happy ending.... LOL!!!

Happy Christmas

So, I've never written a blog on an iphone before. But you gotta neber, I mean never be scare of trying some daunting task before you've started, right? Well I've started, and its daunting.

Anyway. I will try to write for as long as the charge holds in this phone, unless I decide to get the charger in the other room.

Man, it feels like I wrote a whole thesis and it turns out I've only written a couple sentences.

So, here's what I will say. I had a good Christmas. A very nice Christmas. And guess how many presents I opened today?

Zero.

One thing my parents taught me that has stuck over the years, is that its not about getting lots of gifts. Those things really should just represent one person's show of affection for another person, more than getting the gift.



I'm not saying don't get someone what they want. But. Part of the sentiment from getting something should ne rememnering the person who gave it to you.ne wants, righ



I apologize. Clearly I'm not up to this task. So, anyway i had avery nice day with my family. Not all of them, but at least i got to hang out eith one of my two sisters. Its heen a long time since i had christmas with either of them.

So, we took a drive up thr coast. We had a nice meal at a waterfront restaurant. We went to the beach and took a walk, marvelling at all the jellyfish. And then we went home, finished cleaning the pool, and dangled our legs in. I coumt that as going in. I did walk around in the pool, so my whole body was standing in the pool area. After, we made yummy dinner. Then we watched the cats walk onto the lanai for the first ime, exploring.
Lol! I am about as good at this as people who can't spell. I am inputting th eords, but i can't see what i am writing in real time - only fake time. Sucks.

Can you even de hipher any of this? No, me either.

LOL

So, I have the very bad habit of using LOL a lot as a joke, so much so now that it has become a part of my writing vocabulary.  LOL!!!

Anyway, let's discuss the meaning of LOL.  Laugh Out Loud.  It's more of an expression, right?  You might use it to express your reaction to something.  It's an expression.  You might laugh at a joke, but not necessarily laugh OUT LOUD, right?  Because if you actually laugh out loud, you might really post LMAO.

Well, this is the way I operate.  I realize my operations are not the norm of the general populace.  It's a form of exaggeration.  So, if I'm actually laughing my ass off over something, I might post ROTFL.  If I'm rolling on the floor laughing, I will probably post PIMP or PMP, pissing in my pants or pissing my pants.  If I'm actually pissing my pants, then I probably would use LMAOROTFLPMP.  There's not much though that can get me up to that level.  Watching my mom watch The Fuzz chase her tail for 10 minutes was one of them.  Listening to the FP's dad yawn in this weird way that sounded like a Peter Griffin laugh is another.  Part of that incident that made it so hilarious though, was that I had to be discreet and go in the bedroom, close the door and literally bury my head in a pillow until I was fairly laughed out.

Anyway, what brings me to this topic, you ask?  Oh, you didn't ask.  You were just skimming this blog because it's Christmas and you were just checking in without really absorbing the content?  Fair enough, carry on.

Anyhoo.  It's Christmas Eve Afternoon.  We are obviously at a dark sports bar, even though it is hot and sunny outside.  We are watching Sunday football, which was moved to Saturday on account of Christmas.  So, anyway, there's this lady at the table behind us.  The dolphins are playing the patriots and winning.  This lady seems to be rooting for the Dolphins.  We are in South Florida after all.  She isn't wearing a "Fins" or "Phins" jersey, so how do I know.  Oh because of the blood curdling eardrum shattering screams issuing from her lipsticked maw.  She has the highest pitched "woo" I have ever heard!  Her screams of delight and LOLs make me ROTFLHMEIP - roll on the floor laughing holding my ears in pain.  I'm such a wet blanket.  To want to deny any fan of any team their show of enthusiasm is so grinchish.  But, I believe I have been called the grinch before.  After all, I am the Grinches (Grinch's) own daughter.

MFCAYFHGLCABOCASC!!!!!

Whoever can decode that one, I will go to your house and cook you a fabulous dinner!