Okay, so I'm not the most seasoned internet bidder. But I have been frequenting ebay. I'm looking for a keyboard, among other things I like to watch. Guess I'm mostly an ebay voyeur. Anyway, I've seen things sell for a pretty good deal and some things sell for not such a great deal. The FP bought his Fender Jaguar guitar for like $350 or $400, which is a really good deal. He won it on a Sunday the day after 4th of July.
Holidays and days after holidays are good days for ending auctions, especially if it's a weekend. Less people are on the computer because they're out doing real shit. Of course, now, everyone has smartphones and ipads and tablets, and there's wifi everywhere, so maybe it's not quite so easy to win an auction, but it's better on a weekend holiday than on a weekday. All you people who sit at a computer all day for a living get to pop in and out of facebook and craigslist and twitter and ebay. I get to right now because I'm unemployed, and all I do all day is sit in front of the computer, but I don't get the luxury of getting paid for it.
Anyway, I had been watching this keyboard - a Clavia Nord Lead 2X. It started off at 0 or $1.00, which is unusual. They usually start at $300 or more, with the reserve being maybe $450 or $500. So, I was excited to see where this one ended up, on the slight off chance hope it would stay low. So, it was listed for 10 days, which is long. The first couple of days, it didn't get past around $30. Then the next day it shot up to $100. It stayed around $102 for another day or two, then it shot up to $300. Now it's at $455 and there are still 2 days left. If no one else were to bid, it would still be a great deal. But that's not going to happen.
So, I guess, here's my strategy, or rather, my plea. Don't do the automatic bidding. Because you can raise the bid from $100 to $300 in one bid. And also, don't even bid until it's getting close to the end. Think about it. If only two people bid on an item in the beginning of an auction, and no one bid on it until the very end, whoever wins would always end the auction with a sweet deal. And also, it would force sellers to just start around the reserve. It's a little annoying when an item is listed as "reserve not met" and then the seller isn't able to move the product by the end of the auction. Then they have to repost it anyway.
I briefly looked at those newer sites like beezid, and those are annoying. When the bidding is counting down, the clock resets every time someone bids. So, it looks like you have to have hours after the official end of the auction free in order to get a fighting chance. Anyway, I like ebay. I'm like an old fogey used to the old sites. When a site like yahoo mail has a new improved browser or upgrades, I usually try to put off changing over as long as possible. I mean, look at my_space. It was doing great, pretty much running friendster into the grave, and then the spam came. And more spam. And right around that time facebook appeared. I really preferred myspace over facebook because it was more music-centric. The music player was right there on the page. But, everyone migrated to facebook. So, myspace tried to look and act more like facebook, but it was confusing and ugly, and really it was just too late. If myspace had squarshed the spam right away and not given so many options for skins that might take several minutes to load on old slow computers, maybe myspace would have thrived, rather than just surviving in a hospital bed in a coma. Of course, there is Justin Timberlake, who is supposed to perform CPR on the site. But I don't think CPR works on coma patients, does it? Well, we'll see. I think my gage of how successful myspace gets will be if it appears on the "Popular" drop down list on my Safari browser. If that happens, do I have to send Justin Timberlake a thank you card or flowers or a present? Or can I just let it go since he was just doing his job?
Friday, August 19, 2011
Thursday, August 18, 2011
On the Homefront
So, I've been "taking time off from work" the longest time now, since I joined the real workforce. It was nice the first month, the second month was kind of hectic, the third I started to get ansty, now I just feel like a big loser. Thankfully, I've had the food blog for a few years, so the $1.00 in ad revenues I get from foodbuzz really helps! So make sure you go to the foodblog and click on the ads often.
Seriously, I love working, but right now I don't miss it so much as the occupation of time and interacting with human beings. My companionship when the FP goes to work is The Fuzz, Stinksy and Pete. The cats mostly just sleep all day. At least they sleep on the futon so that they are in the same room as me. Pete just swims around in his little tank. He also takes naps too in his shell. I did feel like he was lonely, since he always swam up and down in a zig zag fashion whenever I walked into the bedroom. With the cats not really taking naps in the bed anymore, I thought I would move Pete into the other room with us. The only viable space is on the dining room table against the wall. He's not in the middle of all the action, but it's better than nothing, right. I think he's happier, except this morning Stinky finally noticed that Pete had been moved. He pawed at Pete on the glass (plastic) and then he was messing with the lid too. Pete got scared and hid in his shell for a couple hours. He's out now, lazily swimming around, so I guess he recovered.
I don't know if Pete realizes how lucky he is, he gets to swim around all day, and how cool would it be to sleep in a seashell? Plus, he doesn't have to shower. I mean, I don't have a problem with showering, but if I primarily leave the house to go to the grocery store, why do I need to shower, right? I mean a lot of people who go to the store are way waaaay stinkier than me. The only thing that is annoying is that it's pretty warm out, so now that I've been on this exercise kick, I get sweaty every day. I don't like hanging around all sweaty, so I've been showering daily. Before the exercise, I was averaging 3 days without showering. I think the longest I went without was 5, but I may or may not have gone swimming in a pool or ocean once during that time, so there was a possible flushing with water.
Anyway, instead of being repulsed by me, you should applaud me, commend me, and follow by example. We are in tough times now, and conservation is important. So, I like to take long showers, really scrub out all the crevices. So less showers curbs a lot of water usage in the household. I also make sure I use old water sitting in an old glass to water the 3 sad little plants I have. I suppose I should invest in a few more plants. With the carbon load that we put out, we can't neutralize our very large carbon bigfoot prints, but it would spruce up the landing area.
We technically live in a condo, but we rent. So, in the past we had been spoiled by the maintenance around here. All the trash cans were put on the street for every trash day and put back right away. The common areas were cleaned a couple times a week and the plants (succulents that take less water) watered as needed. And the whole property was cleaned with a leaf blower ever Tuesday around 11:30 pm. This used to annoy us, because we were always eating. But, times have changed, expenses have gone up, and now, no more annoying leaf blower. When the FP gets home and we have a beer outside, I talk about how I'm going to sweep the "porch" the next day. I never do. I'm not going to complain about the lack of maintenance. The exterior generally still looks nice enough. I'd rather not get my landing blown then have to have my rent raised to pay for it. I mean, we've been here for 3 years now, and our rent has not been raised once. How did we get so lucky? Oh yeah, my husband is the landlady's boyfriend.
Don't get me wrong, there's some cracks in the concrete and the walls that weren't there before, holes in the walls, like termite holes, and in the wood beams, nails that stick out. But, generally, it's an okay apartment. We used to move a lot before we moved to San Diego. We lived in houses - big ones, or a loft, or an uncool apartment complex in Metry that had a swimming pool. But, we've learned to live with way less shit, and neither of us are housekeepers, so less shit, less room for shit, less cleaning.
Another thing that I love about this complex, is that we are some of the more boring residents. The original maintenance man used to live in the front unit next to us. He was a big loud and boisterous Mexican who talked a lot. But he was nice, and he fixed shit. One day he was with some younger woman and a little girl. He said, look, I married this girl! We just got married! So we said congrats. This lady and her daughter didn't always seem to stay there though, so who knows.
Anyway, one day there was a big sting operation with swat team, police, maybe the FBI and INS. Well, let's just say they were all there, DEA too. There were like 9 cars. And they took the maintenance guy away. The busybody old lady who lives at the very back of the property in condo #1 said that she thought the landlady (FP's girl) framed him. I highly doubt that, because he was a shady guy. He was using the landlady's white station wagon to haul stuff, so he would keep it overnight. It was all banged up. The trunk was smashed in at one point, and after a couple weeks it appeared in the lot with a red door on it, good as new. He had a couple shady compadres who would be appearing at the door all hours of the day and night. Sometimes late at night there would be someone banging on his door. So it was either him trying to get in because he lost his keys, or maybe someone wanting to engage in some kind of legal activity. He definitely seemed like he could be doing crack or meth. We often would be behind him at the corner grocery store at 9 or 10 am. He would be buying a pint of whiskey, you know, an eye opener.
I think I already discussed the current residents in that unit - the other guy who got hauled away in a police car, but that was only one car.
The lady who lives in #1 one day had some guy in a suit knocking on her door. He asked me if she was home or if I see her. I told him I see her come and go a lot. The guy left, and I saw her walking up. I told her some guy knocked on her door, and she got all suspicious. Who? Why, what did he want? I don't want some guy knocking on my door.
The guy that lived in the first unit on the other side got foreclosed on. This was a long time coming, because before we moved in, I googled the property. His condo was listed, but it seemed like in was sold. Apparently, that sale must have fallen through. He's a nice guy, he had this religious roommate. One day the roommate asked the FP if he had a few minutes to help him move something. The FP said sure, and next thing he knew he was helping the guy move this basketball hoop into his car. He had set it up at the end of the road. Our building is the last on the street, and then there's a fence and then the 94. So, the guy was bringing the hoop to his church.
Anyway, lots of people would knock on these guys' door and tape notices and envelopes on the door. Finally, one day, they had to move out. The foreclosure sign went up in the window. Luckily, the owner's brother owns the condo below him, so he moved in. But, the brother seemed to get notices and visits too, although not as often. They never seemed to have had regular jobs. I know the brother downstairs said something about them going into business together - import export or entrepreneurship or some sketchy generic thing like that. A week ago, two big muscular eastern european guys were knocking on the brothers' door loudly. They asked the FP if he knew them and if they were home. He said he didn't know, that he saw them come and go. The big dudes waited for 30 minutes before they left. The brothers' cars were there, so they were huddled inside. I guess the dudes didn't know which cars were there. Now the brothers pretty much stay home all day, and then they sneak out at night for a while.
The kids below us are college age. They would have friends over starting at around 9 on weekdays, maybe earlier on weekends. They would blast the techno music and party. They smoke cigarettes, so a few would stand outside and have a loud chat. Or they would laugh and party and joke with each other very loudly inside. Around 11pm, the place would go silent. And then around 1:30 or 2, the music would be pumping again, getting louder and louder. The cigarette smoking would increase, the conversation would get louder, more shrill, more voices. There would never be parking on the street. And they would party til 4 or 6 am.
One night, the music was the loudest it had ever been. Then all of a sudden silence. So, I don't know if a neighbor complained or called the cops. But now, they don't ever blare music and there are way less kids that hang out there. So, I don't know if they got a notice from the HOA, but it's nice. I never thought I would become one of those old people who hate those crazy kids making noise. I mean, I didn't care too much about their noise, because the acoustics from one unit to another are much quieter here than other places. But, every once in a while when I was already predisposed to insomnia but trying to sleep, they were annoying.
The people who live directly behind us are relatively quiet, except for the fact that they will play this driving game for hours in the afternoon, and it's really loud. The first couple times I heard this, I had no idea what it was. It was this hum, like on the freeway, but constant and close. One day it was pretty damn loud, so I walked outside to try to find the source. I could see the video game on the TV through the security gate. Once I knew what it was, it didn't bug me as much.
The women who live across from the foreclosure brothers are nice enough, but their dog is horrible. He's like a cocker spaniel or some kind of spaniel, and he's ugly and he barks all the time. Whenever someone walks by, he barks at the door and scratches and pushes against the door with all his might like he needs to get out. When they take him for a walk, he pulls at the lease and barks at anyone who walks by.
The guy that lives in the front who was arrested, him and his wife have two little poodlelike dogs. They look out the window and bark at everyone walking by. When they are taken for a walk, same as the spaniel, tug at the lease, trying to get free to attack. One time we were walking into the complex and the dogs were about 15 feet away. They started barking and ran as close as their leases would let them. Then one dog's lease snapped and he was free. He stopped for a split second when it snapped. Then he realized he was free and he went after the FP. He ran up to him and grabbed his pantleg and shook. The guy got the dog and put him back on his lease and apologized profusely, but I think we were just laughing. That little guy was a menace, but he was just shaking the pantleg. He might have broken through to the skin, but not a big deal.
Anyway, that's the exciting story of where we live.
Seriously, I love working, but right now I don't miss it so much as the occupation of time and interacting with human beings. My companionship when the FP goes to work is The Fuzz, Stinksy and Pete. The cats mostly just sleep all day. At least they sleep on the futon so that they are in the same room as me. Pete just swims around in his little tank. He also takes naps too in his shell. I did feel like he was lonely, since he always swam up and down in a zig zag fashion whenever I walked into the bedroom. With the cats not really taking naps in the bed anymore, I thought I would move Pete into the other room with us. The only viable space is on the dining room table against the wall. He's not in the middle of all the action, but it's better than nothing, right. I think he's happier, except this morning Stinky finally noticed that Pete had been moved. He pawed at Pete on the glass (plastic) and then he was messing with the lid too. Pete got scared and hid in his shell for a couple hours. He's out now, lazily swimming around, so I guess he recovered.
I don't know if Pete realizes how lucky he is, he gets to swim around all day, and how cool would it be to sleep in a seashell? Plus, he doesn't have to shower. I mean, I don't have a problem with showering, but if I primarily leave the house to go to the grocery store, why do I need to shower, right? I mean a lot of people who go to the store are way waaaay stinkier than me. The only thing that is annoying is that it's pretty warm out, so now that I've been on this exercise kick, I get sweaty every day. I don't like hanging around all sweaty, so I've been showering daily. Before the exercise, I was averaging 3 days without showering. I think the longest I went without was 5, but I may or may not have gone swimming in a pool or ocean once during that time, so there was a possible flushing with water.
Anyway, instead of being repulsed by me, you should applaud me, commend me, and follow by example. We are in tough times now, and conservation is important. So, I like to take long showers, really scrub out all the crevices. So less showers curbs a lot of water usage in the household. I also make sure I use old water sitting in an old glass to water the 3 sad little plants I have. I suppose I should invest in a few more plants. With the carbon load that we put out, we can't neutralize our very large carbon bigfoot prints, but it would spruce up the landing area.
We technically live in a condo, but we rent. So, in the past we had been spoiled by the maintenance around here. All the trash cans were put on the street for every trash day and put back right away. The common areas were cleaned a couple times a week and the plants (succulents that take less water) watered as needed. And the whole property was cleaned with a leaf blower ever Tuesday around 11:30 pm. This used to annoy us, because we were always eating. But, times have changed, expenses have gone up, and now, no more annoying leaf blower. When the FP gets home and we have a beer outside, I talk about how I'm going to sweep the "porch" the next day. I never do. I'm not going to complain about the lack of maintenance. The exterior generally still looks nice enough. I'd rather not get my landing blown then have to have my rent raised to pay for it. I mean, we've been here for 3 years now, and our rent has not been raised once. How did we get so lucky? Oh yeah, my husband is the landlady's boyfriend.
Don't get me wrong, there's some cracks in the concrete and the walls that weren't there before, holes in the walls, like termite holes, and in the wood beams, nails that stick out. But, generally, it's an okay apartment. We used to move a lot before we moved to San Diego. We lived in houses - big ones, or a loft, or an uncool apartment complex in Metry that had a swimming pool. But, we've learned to live with way less shit, and neither of us are housekeepers, so less shit, less room for shit, less cleaning.
Another thing that I love about this complex, is that we are some of the more boring residents. The original maintenance man used to live in the front unit next to us. He was a big loud and boisterous Mexican who talked a lot. But he was nice, and he fixed shit. One day he was with some younger woman and a little girl. He said, look, I married this girl! We just got married! So we said congrats. This lady and her daughter didn't always seem to stay there though, so who knows.
Anyway, one day there was a big sting operation with swat team, police, maybe the FBI and INS. Well, let's just say they were all there, DEA too. There were like 9 cars. And they took the maintenance guy away. The busybody old lady who lives at the very back of the property in condo #1 said that she thought the landlady (FP's girl) framed him. I highly doubt that, because he was a shady guy. He was using the landlady's white station wagon to haul stuff, so he would keep it overnight. It was all banged up. The trunk was smashed in at one point, and after a couple weeks it appeared in the lot with a red door on it, good as new. He had a couple shady compadres who would be appearing at the door all hours of the day and night. Sometimes late at night there would be someone banging on his door. So it was either him trying to get in because he lost his keys, or maybe someone wanting to engage in some kind of legal activity. He definitely seemed like he could be doing crack or meth. We often would be behind him at the corner grocery store at 9 or 10 am. He would be buying a pint of whiskey, you know, an eye opener.
I think I already discussed the current residents in that unit - the other guy who got hauled away in a police car, but that was only one car.
The lady who lives in #1 one day had some guy in a suit knocking on her door. He asked me if she was home or if I see her. I told him I see her come and go a lot. The guy left, and I saw her walking up. I told her some guy knocked on her door, and she got all suspicious. Who? Why, what did he want? I don't want some guy knocking on my door.
The guy that lived in the first unit on the other side got foreclosed on. This was a long time coming, because before we moved in, I googled the property. His condo was listed, but it seemed like in was sold. Apparently, that sale must have fallen through. He's a nice guy, he had this religious roommate. One day the roommate asked the FP if he had a few minutes to help him move something. The FP said sure, and next thing he knew he was helping the guy move this basketball hoop into his car. He had set it up at the end of the road. Our building is the last on the street, and then there's a fence and then the 94. So, the guy was bringing the hoop to his church.
Anyway, lots of people would knock on these guys' door and tape notices and envelopes on the door. Finally, one day, they had to move out. The foreclosure sign went up in the window. Luckily, the owner's brother owns the condo below him, so he moved in. But, the brother seemed to get notices and visits too, although not as often. They never seemed to have had regular jobs. I know the brother downstairs said something about them going into business together - import export or entrepreneurship or some sketchy generic thing like that. A week ago, two big muscular eastern european guys were knocking on the brothers' door loudly. They asked the FP if he knew them and if they were home. He said he didn't know, that he saw them come and go. The big dudes waited for 30 minutes before they left. The brothers' cars were there, so they were huddled inside. I guess the dudes didn't know which cars were there. Now the brothers pretty much stay home all day, and then they sneak out at night for a while.
The kids below us are college age. They would have friends over starting at around 9 on weekdays, maybe earlier on weekends. They would blast the techno music and party. They smoke cigarettes, so a few would stand outside and have a loud chat. Or they would laugh and party and joke with each other very loudly inside. Around 11pm, the place would go silent. And then around 1:30 or 2, the music would be pumping again, getting louder and louder. The cigarette smoking would increase, the conversation would get louder, more shrill, more voices. There would never be parking on the street. And they would party til 4 or 6 am.
One night, the music was the loudest it had ever been. Then all of a sudden silence. So, I don't know if a neighbor complained or called the cops. But now, they don't ever blare music and there are way less kids that hang out there. So, I don't know if they got a notice from the HOA, but it's nice. I never thought I would become one of those old people who hate those crazy kids making noise. I mean, I didn't care too much about their noise, because the acoustics from one unit to another are much quieter here than other places. But, every once in a while when I was already predisposed to insomnia but trying to sleep, they were annoying.
The people who live directly behind us are relatively quiet, except for the fact that they will play this driving game for hours in the afternoon, and it's really loud. The first couple times I heard this, I had no idea what it was. It was this hum, like on the freeway, but constant and close. One day it was pretty damn loud, so I walked outside to try to find the source. I could see the video game on the TV through the security gate. Once I knew what it was, it didn't bug me as much.
The women who live across from the foreclosure brothers are nice enough, but their dog is horrible. He's like a cocker spaniel or some kind of spaniel, and he's ugly and he barks all the time. Whenever someone walks by, he barks at the door and scratches and pushes against the door with all his might like he needs to get out. When they take him for a walk, he pulls at the lease and barks at anyone who walks by.
The guy that lives in the front who was arrested, him and his wife have two little poodlelike dogs. They look out the window and bark at everyone walking by. When they are taken for a walk, same as the spaniel, tug at the lease, trying to get free to attack. One time we were walking into the complex and the dogs were about 15 feet away. They started barking and ran as close as their leases would let them. Then one dog's lease snapped and he was free. He stopped for a split second when it snapped. Then he realized he was free and he went after the FP. He ran up to him and grabbed his pantleg and shook. The guy got the dog and put him back on his lease and apologized profusely, but I think we were just laughing. That little guy was a menace, but he was just shaking the pantleg. He might have broken through to the skin, but not a big deal.
Anyway, that's the exciting story of where we live.
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
It's dry out there.
So, it's ant season. We recently had a roach problem, that currently seems to be at bay, but now we have ants. Roaches are not as common here in San Diego as they were on the eastern side of the country where I came from. So, having roaches come into one's abode here, when there were no roaches previously means one is a dirty fucker, or the neighbors brought them in. The roaches did start to appear sometime around when the neighbors who share an adjoining wall with us moved in. So, I'm going to say it was their fault. I mean, after all, the husband or father or whatever did get handcuffed and hauled away in a police car one morning. He did come back, but, still. If you can get arrested, it's possible you imported roaches.
So, the roaches were coming out in the kitchen and we tore the kitchen apart. We didn't see any evidence of nests, but we put roach gel and boric acid and bait stations everywhere. After a week or two, I started seeing dead roaches on the floor under the cabinets. It was gross, because some of them had their miscarriages laying next to them - undeveloped eggs with translucent teeny babies scattered around. Roaches are one of those examples in the animal kingdom where babies are not cute. I mean really, that goes for all insects. Anyway, every few weeks I have to redust with boric acid, and knock on wood (that is hopefully roach nest free) we haven't had an outbreak.
But, the ants. Every morning there is a trail of ants to this little piece of food that dropped on the tile floor. And so the FP sprays with that ecofriendly spray, and then the whole place smells like a pine forest, because it has peppermint oil and rosemary oil. Right now there's evidence of a mass ant genocide a couple feet away from me under the shelving unit that needs to be mopped up. I do believe in reincarnation, but I don't really follow Hinduism or Buddhism. I guess I just liked the idea of having an alternative ending to heaven, hell or purgatory. Also, I have met so many people over the years who look like someone else, or have a similar personality or mannerisms, that reincarnation makes sense to me. Although a more plausible theory would be that there is a limited number of human characteristics that a person can have, of course they could be mixed and matched, but then personalities who resemble others would be encountered quite often.
The part about reincarnation that I guess I don't worry about is the killing of lives. Pest lives of insects and vermin, that is. So, if someone is a human in one life, and he or she comes back as an ant, doesn't that mean that his or her karma was not good in his or her past lives so he or she is suffering the consequences. So, if ants or roaches that I kill were humans, then they were most likely not good people. Also, if I am shortening their lifespan, then am I not giving them a chance for another more interesting life sooner?
Although, I do feel like ant ghosts are haunting me. I have had many an ant crawl on my skin, so now I constantly feel like there's something crawling in my hair, on my arm, or my leg. It's really irritating, and I probably look like I have turrets or I'm going through withdrawal. (I love turrets syndrome. That will be a great topic for another day.) So, I do believe in ghosts as well. I never really contemplated how ghosts and reincarnation fit together in the scheme of things, but I'm not really a deep philosopher. Contemplating squirrel poop is one thing, but thinking about the beginning and end of the universe and the meaning of existence is too much for me. In fact, I think I scored poorly in the subject of philosophy. Anyway, I just like to patch together general ideas that I find desirable to make up my own little twisted world view. I just want to be in the sun and water as much as possible, and to be irritated as little as possible.
So, the roaches were coming out in the kitchen and we tore the kitchen apart. We didn't see any evidence of nests, but we put roach gel and boric acid and bait stations everywhere. After a week or two, I started seeing dead roaches on the floor under the cabinets. It was gross, because some of them had their miscarriages laying next to them - undeveloped eggs with translucent teeny babies scattered around. Roaches are one of those examples in the animal kingdom where babies are not cute. I mean really, that goes for all insects. Anyway, every few weeks I have to redust with boric acid, and knock on wood (that is hopefully roach nest free) we haven't had an outbreak.
But, the ants. Every morning there is a trail of ants to this little piece of food that dropped on the tile floor. And so the FP sprays with that ecofriendly spray, and then the whole place smells like a pine forest, because it has peppermint oil and rosemary oil. Right now there's evidence of a mass ant genocide a couple feet away from me under the shelving unit that needs to be mopped up. I do believe in reincarnation, but I don't really follow Hinduism or Buddhism. I guess I just liked the idea of having an alternative ending to heaven, hell or purgatory. Also, I have met so many people over the years who look like someone else, or have a similar personality or mannerisms, that reincarnation makes sense to me. Although a more plausible theory would be that there is a limited number of human characteristics that a person can have, of course they could be mixed and matched, but then personalities who resemble others would be encountered quite often.
The part about reincarnation that I guess I don't worry about is the killing of lives. Pest lives of insects and vermin, that is. So, if someone is a human in one life, and he or she comes back as an ant, doesn't that mean that his or her karma was not good in his or her past lives so he or she is suffering the consequences. So, if ants or roaches that I kill were humans, then they were most likely not good people. Also, if I am shortening their lifespan, then am I not giving them a chance for another more interesting life sooner?
Although, I do feel like ant ghosts are haunting me. I have had many an ant crawl on my skin, so now I constantly feel like there's something crawling in my hair, on my arm, or my leg. It's really irritating, and I probably look like I have turrets or I'm going through withdrawal. (I love turrets syndrome. That will be a great topic for another day.) So, I do believe in ghosts as well. I never really contemplated how ghosts and reincarnation fit together in the scheme of things, but I'm not really a deep philosopher. Contemplating squirrel poop is one thing, but thinking about the beginning and end of the universe and the meaning of existence is too much for me. In fact, I think I scored poorly in the subject of philosophy. Anyway, I just like to patch together general ideas that I find desirable to make up my own little twisted world view. I just want to be in the sun and water as much as possible, and to be irritated as little as possible.
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
No. 8 or Numero Ocho for the Latino Readership
So, I've made it over a week! That is a huge accomplishment for me. But for today, I'm not sure what to write about. I feel not so funny today. I wish there were a douche for that.
Girl: Mom, do you ever feel not so funny?
Mom: Oh, honey, that's natural. I use Summer's Eve Humor Wash. Here, let's go to
the bathroom and I'll show you how to use it.
Girl: Isn't it like a douche?
Mom: Well, yes.
Girl: How will it make me feel funnier? It just smells like rotting fish that has
been fermenting for a week in the sun.
Mom: Yes it does, and that's hilarious.
See, not funny. I mean, I could just write about something depressing, but I don't want this blog's foot to step on my other depressing blog's toes. So, we'll try to think of some funny shit.
Here's a funny fact. I must go on Facebook about 10 times a day. Although, most times I just click it on because it's like a tick. If I post a comment or something, I'll check to see if anyone liked it or commented. Yeah, I do that. Other people do also. My total time on FB probably doesn't even amount to an hour a day though, unless you count the times that I have multiple windows open and one of them is facebook. Okay, that's really more of a sad fact, and maybe it should go on my other blog. :(
Maybe this is a funny fact? I talk to my pets like they're people. Every time I walk into a room where one of them are hanging out, I'll say, "Hey Fuzz!" or "What's up Stinky?" His name is really Stinksy, but we call him Stinky, even though he only stinks when he lays on dirty towels. If I walk into the bedroom, I'll say, "Hi Pete!" Is that funny or sad?
I googled funny facts. I didn't really see much stuff that made me even crack a smile. Fun facts aren't necessarily funny, I guess.
Well, here's a funny nugget. I'm in the habit of calling people the FP's girlfriend. Like, say, several years ago he was into watching Nancy Grace. So, I would say, oh, your girlfriend's on TV. A little while ago it was Chelsea Handler (who is a funny fucker, btw). So, for the past several years, since we've lived in our current apartment, the FP's main squeeze has been our landlady. She's a nice lady, to us anyway. When we first met her, she liked me right away, but she didn't really pay attention to the FP. I believe her husband was a diplomat and they lived in the Philippines for a while, or they visited there, so that was why she liked me. If you don't know who I am, which seems impossible if you are reading this, I'm a Filipina- American. Oh, and also the FP is my husband. If you want to know what FP stands for, you will have to read my food blog, which you will find when you check out my profile page. I'm not sure if I'm first generation or second generation Fil-Am, because I've googled it before and different people have different interpretations.
Anyway, the landlady is very hands on. She will be here all day kneeling in the dirt in the front replanting the landscaping. Did I tell you she was old? It seems like it's unPC to say old now, right? You're supposed to say elderly or something else? Well, this lady is pretty damn elderly. She's like an octogenarian. She doesn't walk very fast, but she will work all damn day long. And she always wears pants and sneakers and a shirt, and a sweatshirt on top of the shirt. So, she will be weeding or planting or watering or whatever all day long, winter, spring, summer or fall, with a sweatshirt on all day long. I have no tolerance for heat any longer. If it's 80, and I walk outside, I feel like I'm going to pass out. But she'll be at it all day in the baking sun, no problemo.
So, she is a grandmother, well probably a great grandmother. And she wears grandmother undergarments, or granny panties, if you will. So, she gardens and stuff (not uphill though) and she's bent down in the dirt a lot. And sometimes her granny panties are riding up. So, the first time, I caught the FP staring at them. I mean ogling. I mean undressing her with his eyes. Maybe even some foreplay with his retinas, definitely second base with his rods and cones.
So, I called him out, and then we (I) decided she was his new girlfriend. On top of that, she found out he was a private chef and taught cooking classes. This intrigued her as it intrigues most women. OOh, a handsome man who can cook?!? So, he would be leaving for work, and they would have a long conversation about what he would be cooking that day. And when he would have a big event he would be bringing in a lot of groceries, so she would ask about that. Then the day after she would ask him how the event went. It got to the point that when I saw her, she would ask me how his event or cooking class went. I was reduced to chopped liver. But, I'm a liberal wife, so I've allowed this relationship to go on, literally under my nose.
Unfortunately, she has lots of properties, so she will spend lots of time at one, and then disappear for months. So, the FP doesn't have the most steady relationship with her, but whenever he gets a chance to see her, he lights up like the Las Vegas strip. Why do I put up with this? I guess he's being honest at least, and who wouldn't fall for her? Also, I'm hoping that maybe she'll eventually cut him in on her will. You know, just a small token...
Girl: Mom, do you ever feel not so funny?
Mom: Oh, honey, that's natural. I use Summer's Eve Humor Wash. Here, let's go to
the bathroom and I'll show you how to use it.
Girl: Isn't it like a douche?
Mom: Well, yes.
Girl: How will it make me feel funnier? It just smells like rotting fish that has
been fermenting for a week in the sun.
Mom: Yes it does, and that's hilarious.
See, not funny. I mean, I could just write about something depressing, but I don't want this blog's foot to step on my other depressing blog's toes. So, we'll try to think of some funny shit.
Here's a funny fact. I must go on Facebook about 10 times a day. Although, most times I just click it on because it's like a tick. If I post a comment or something, I'll check to see if anyone liked it or commented. Yeah, I do that. Other people do also. My total time on FB probably doesn't even amount to an hour a day though, unless you count the times that I have multiple windows open and one of them is facebook. Okay, that's really more of a sad fact, and maybe it should go on my other blog. :(
Maybe this is a funny fact? I talk to my pets like they're people. Every time I walk into a room where one of them are hanging out, I'll say, "Hey Fuzz!" or "What's up Stinky?" His name is really Stinksy, but we call him Stinky, even though he only stinks when he lays on dirty towels. If I walk into the bedroom, I'll say, "Hi Pete!" Is that funny or sad?
I googled funny facts. I didn't really see much stuff that made me even crack a smile. Fun facts aren't necessarily funny, I guess.
Well, here's a funny nugget. I'm in the habit of calling people the FP's girlfriend. Like, say, several years ago he was into watching Nancy Grace. So, I would say, oh, your girlfriend's on TV. A little while ago it was Chelsea Handler (who is a funny fucker, btw). So, for the past several years, since we've lived in our current apartment, the FP's main squeeze has been our landlady. She's a nice lady, to us anyway. When we first met her, she liked me right away, but she didn't really pay attention to the FP. I believe her husband was a diplomat and they lived in the Philippines for a while, or they visited there, so that was why she liked me. If you don't know who I am, which seems impossible if you are reading this, I'm a Filipina- American. Oh, and also the FP is my husband. If you want to know what FP stands for, you will have to read my food blog, which you will find when you check out my profile page. I'm not sure if I'm first generation or second generation Fil-Am, because I've googled it before and different people have different interpretations.
Anyway, the landlady is very hands on. She will be here all day kneeling in the dirt in the front replanting the landscaping. Did I tell you she was old? It seems like it's unPC to say old now, right? You're supposed to say elderly or something else? Well, this lady is pretty damn elderly. She's like an octogenarian. She doesn't walk very fast, but she will work all damn day long. And she always wears pants and sneakers and a shirt, and a sweatshirt on top of the shirt. So, she will be weeding or planting or watering or whatever all day long, winter, spring, summer or fall, with a sweatshirt on all day long. I have no tolerance for heat any longer. If it's 80, and I walk outside, I feel like I'm going to pass out. But she'll be at it all day in the baking sun, no problemo.
So, she is a grandmother, well probably a great grandmother. And she wears grandmother undergarments, or granny panties, if you will. So, she gardens and stuff (not uphill though) and she's bent down in the dirt a lot. And sometimes her granny panties are riding up. So, the first time, I caught the FP staring at them. I mean ogling. I mean undressing her with his eyes. Maybe even some foreplay with his retinas, definitely second base with his rods and cones.
So, I called him out, and then we (I) decided she was his new girlfriend. On top of that, she found out he was a private chef and taught cooking classes. This intrigued her as it intrigues most women. OOh, a handsome man who can cook?!? So, he would be leaving for work, and they would have a long conversation about what he would be cooking that day. And when he would have a big event he would be bringing in a lot of groceries, so she would ask about that. Then the day after she would ask him how the event went. It got to the point that when I saw her, she would ask me how his event or cooking class went. I was reduced to chopped liver. But, I'm a liberal wife, so I've allowed this relationship to go on, literally under my nose.
Unfortunately, she has lots of properties, so she will spend lots of time at one, and then disappear for months. So, the FP doesn't have the most steady relationship with her, but whenever he gets a chance to see her, he lights up like the Las Vegas strip. Why do I put up with this? I guess he's being honest at least, and who wouldn't fall for her? Also, I'm hoping that maybe she'll eventually cut him in on her will. You know, just a small token...
Monday, August 15, 2011
Man Do I Need To Get A Life
Am I saying that my work defines me? Yes, I guess so, to a point. I mean, when you meet someone, what's the common questions? Where do you live? What do you do for a living? How big of a loser are you and should I even spend 2 minutes getting to know you?
Anyway, one of the clues that I have too much free time lies beneath the ocean. Okay, it's really freshwater. I am referring to our fish, Pete. Our friend and former lead guitarist of our band (which is now on hiatus) moved to Indiana so he gave us his betta fish. He brought the fish in a plastic pitcher, and the plastic gems and a big shellfish were in his bowl, which was like a big margarita glass. So, he poured the fish back into the bowl, added some tap water and that was it. He brought some fish flakes and water conditioner too. He didn't really give many directions. He just told us to feed the fish once a day, and that he likes to be where he can see the action. They forgot to feed him once for a few days and he lived, so no problem.
So, a few minutes after we acquired Pete, our cat Stinksy went over to the bowl and started drinking the water. When he realized there was a fish in there, he tried to stick his paw in the water and grab the fish. This is when I decided we needed a tank with a lid on it.
I didn't have much time, so I went to the evil Wal-Mart. I stood in the fish supplies aisle for about 10 minutes trying to choose a tank, out of the 6 possible choices. I went with the one gallon triangular job with the undergravel filter.
So, I went home, read the directions for the tank and set it up and relocated Pete. I put him on the bookshelf in the bedroom because Stinksy never goes up there. After I had done this, I went online and read about keeping bettas and maintaining tanks. Of course some people said they are perfectly happy to live in a teeny tank, and other said a 1.5 gallon to 5 gallon tank was sufficient. Then I was reading about "cycling a tank". This stuff started to scare me. Was I going to kill this fish overnight? Well, I figured he was pretty traumatized already from the plastic pitcher ride in the car to the relocating addresses and tanks. So, I slept on it. I fully expected to wake up to a floating blue fish carcass, but he was alive and swimming.
Anyway, it's been about 6 weeks and he's still alive. I probably spent a total of ten hours online reading up about fish, even though I haven't done much. I do worry about him, because if we don't go into the bedroom much he seems lonely. As soon as I walk into the bedroom he swims to the closest side of the tank. If I move from one side of the tank to the other, he follows me. I wish I had unlimited finances and knowledge to build a a tubelike extension to the fish tank that could go all the way across the apartment so he could hang out with us more often. I don't have the unlimited finances or knowledge, so I just go and visit with him when I think of it during the day. And at night when he's tucked deep in his seashell, I try not to wake him up when I go into the bedroom. So, here's my question for the day: do fish have feelings?
Anyway, one of the clues that I have too much free time lies beneath the ocean. Okay, it's really freshwater. I am referring to our fish, Pete. Our friend and former lead guitarist of our band (which is now on hiatus) moved to Indiana so he gave us his betta fish. He brought the fish in a plastic pitcher, and the plastic gems and a big shellfish were in his bowl, which was like a big margarita glass. So, he poured the fish back into the bowl, added some tap water and that was it. He brought some fish flakes and water conditioner too. He didn't really give many directions. He just told us to feed the fish once a day, and that he likes to be where he can see the action. They forgot to feed him once for a few days and he lived, so no problem.
So, a few minutes after we acquired Pete, our cat Stinksy went over to the bowl and started drinking the water. When he realized there was a fish in there, he tried to stick his paw in the water and grab the fish. This is when I decided we needed a tank with a lid on it.
I didn't have much time, so I went to the evil Wal-Mart. I stood in the fish supplies aisle for about 10 minutes trying to choose a tank, out of the 6 possible choices. I went with the one gallon triangular job with the undergravel filter.
So, I went home, read the directions for the tank and set it up and relocated Pete. I put him on the bookshelf in the bedroom because Stinksy never goes up there. After I had done this, I went online and read about keeping bettas and maintaining tanks. Of course some people said they are perfectly happy to live in a teeny tank, and other said a 1.5 gallon to 5 gallon tank was sufficient. Then I was reading about "cycling a tank". This stuff started to scare me. Was I going to kill this fish overnight? Well, I figured he was pretty traumatized already from the plastic pitcher ride in the car to the relocating addresses and tanks. So, I slept on it. I fully expected to wake up to a floating blue fish carcass, but he was alive and swimming.
Anyway, it's been about 6 weeks and he's still alive. I probably spent a total of ten hours online reading up about fish, even though I haven't done much. I do worry about him, because if we don't go into the bedroom much he seems lonely. As soon as I walk into the bedroom he swims to the closest side of the tank. If I move from one side of the tank to the other, he follows me. I wish I had unlimited finances and knowledge to build a a tubelike extension to the fish tank that could go all the way across the apartment so he could hang out with us more often. I don't have the unlimited finances or knowledge, so I just go and visit with him when I think of it during the day. And at night when he's tucked deep in his seashell, I try not to wake him up when I go into the bedroom. So, here's my question for the day: do fish have feelings?
Sunday, August 14, 2011
Squirrel Poop
If anyone is reading this, please respond with some answers!!!!!! I've been wondering where squirrels poop, and what it looks like. When I google this topic, there is no answer that satisfies me. One person said they shit in their hollow trees or from the branches of trees and it disperses and is so small you don't notice. And someone else said they can go while in motion, so it spreads out and you don't notice. But really, where do squirrels shit? And does anyone have photographic evidence of it?
In high school, my friends and I gave my BFF this flying squirrel she had been eyeing in the pet store. I don't recall seeing this thing take a shit or even what the shit looked like. That is an altogether different case though - a wild animal in captivity. That was an unfortunate purchase btw. This thing was freaked out and scared shitless. And I think we got like a 10 gallon terrarium for it, which obviously wasn't big enough. It escaped when we brought it to her, and it was a nightmare getting the thing under control. It crawled all the way up one friend's leg, totally freaking her out. So, the flying squirrel was named Satan, I believe. Poor thing didn't last very long, although I don't imagine their lifespan is very long anyway. The things one used to be able to find in pet stores way back when....
My first apartment in Boston was across from Boston Common. I can't tell you if there were more hippies walking around out in the open smoking weed or more squirrels there. But the squirrels were used to handouts from people. One time, this squirrel jumped up on the back of a bench as I was walking by. It was like begging for food. So, I happened to have a bite sized snickers. I don't know if I had been eating one, or maybe the squirrel's little keen nose smelled them in my back pack. So, I unwrapped the bite sized Snickers and offered it up to the little fella. He/She grabbed it out of my hand and started nibbling on it, no fear, no shame. It just gobbled it up. No one ever believes that story.
Here in San Diego, America's Finest City, they were poisoning squirrels and gophers at Balboa Park. So, because people who use the park were directly or indirectly feeding these animals, the populations grew. The park was being overrun with these animals and diminishing visitors enjoyment of the park. So, they were poisoned. I am not sure what the stance is currently. I know a lot of people put up a big stink so it was stopped at least temporarily. I wonder if that's ever been a proposed solution to the growing population of transients here in America's Finest City? Just throw out a bunch of poisoned pizzas on every street corner downtown and in the bushes in Balboa Park, and let it do it's thing. Well, it's just about as outrageous as leaving poisoned bait in a public park...
In high school, my friends and I gave my BFF this flying squirrel she had been eyeing in the pet store. I don't recall seeing this thing take a shit or even what the shit looked like. That is an altogether different case though - a wild animal in captivity. That was an unfortunate purchase btw. This thing was freaked out and scared shitless. And I think we got like a 10 gallon terrarium for it, which obviously wasn't big enough. It escaped when we brought it to her, and it was a nightmare getting the thing under control. It crawled all the way up one friend's leg, totally freaking her out. So, the flying squirrel was named Satan, I believe. Poor thing didn't last very long, although I don't imagine their lifespan is very long anyway. The things one used to be able to find in pet stores way back when....
My first apartment in Boston was across from Boston Common. I can't tell you if there were more hippies walking around out in the open smoking weed or more squirrels there. But the squirrels were used to handouts from people. One time, this squirrel jumped up on the back of a bench as I was walking by. It was like begging for food. So, I happened to have a bite sized snickers. I don't know if I had been eating one, or maybe the squirrel's little keen nose smelled them in my back pack. So, I unwrapped the bite sized Snickers and offered it up to the little fella. He/She grabbed it out of my hand and started nibbling on it, no fear, no shame. It just gobbled it up. No one ever believes that story.
Here in San Diego, America's Finest City, they were poisoning squirrels and gophers at Balboa Park. So, because people who use the park were directly or indirectly feeding these animals, the populations grew. The park was being overrun with these animals and diminishing visitors enjoyment of the park. So, they were poisoned. I am not sure what the stance is currently. I know a lot of people put up a big stink so it was stopped at least temporarily. I wonder if that's ever been a proposed solution to the growing population of transients here in America's Finest City? Just throw out a bunch of poisoned pizzas on every street corner downtown and in the bushes in Balboa Park, and let it do it's thing. Well, it's just about as outrageous as leaving poisoned bait in a public park...
Saturday, August 13, 2011
What time do they close the bouncy castle?
So, I live in a predominantly Mexican neighborhood. So, if you're not familiar with the culture of the Mexican family, every time someone has a birthday, they have a backyard fiesta with music, tons of food and drink and they rent tables and chairs and tents if they don't own them. If it's a kid's birthday party, they rent a bouncy castle. The family next door rented a Justin Bieber bouncy castle. They were inflating it around 11 am this morning. So, now, it's 10:10 pm, and I hear the scream of little kids, then silence. So, I guess the bouncy castle closed at 10 pm. Which is the normal time that hotel pools close, so that makes sense.
Speaking of Justin Bieber, it makes me think of guilty pleasure TV shows and movies. So, let's make a list of guilty pleasure stuff that I like in no particular order. I am not going to include obvious shows like Family Guy, because, most everyone watched those at one point or another. Guilty Pleasure suggests that it's embarrassing, even though I'm not really embarrassed of what I watch.
1. Degrassi. If you've never heard of it, you're missing out. It's like the preteen/teen show that was edgy, before My So Called Life, Freaks and Geeks, 90210, The Secret Life of The American Teenager, etc. I watched Degrassi Junior High when Spike was pregnant, and then wheeling a baby carriage with baby Emma around school. Then several years later, I learned that there was a Degrassi The Next Generation, with Emma and her pals as the stars. There were issues like stds, homosexuality, and bullying and school shootings. This later morphed into just Degrassi. I admit, the cast and plots are a little lacking the last few years, but I still watch. Right now there is a new episode Monday thru Thursday. The hot new topic is a female teacher/ male student relationship.
2. Twilight movies. I don't have much to say about these, just that I watched the first two when the FP was out of town. I do not believe he could tolerate more than 2 minutes of one of these movies, so I wouldn't even attempt to subject him to them.
3. Frankly, I can probably watch any teen high school or college comedy/drama. For a while Freaks and Geeks and Undeclared was on TV around midnight, so I've now seen most of those episodes in the past year.
4. Breaking Bad. I only started watching it this summer when all the previous seasons were on, 3 episodes a night, every night leading to the season premier. I recorded and watched every one, except I missed episode two or three from the first season. This show is so addicting, ha ha. But hasn't everyone always wondered what it would be like if a really amazing chemist decided to make illicit drugs? Well, I'm sure this is the case. I like to believe that the people who make those beautiful sheets of acid that produce this mind expanding life altering inspiring trip are these amazing brilliant minds that just do this for the benefit of mankind on the side when they are not curing cancer. Does acid even exist anymore, anyway? Not that I've done it, I'm just asking. I know that a lot of this stuff went around in the 60s, I think, and I heard it was groovy.
5. Tosh.O C'mon. Who doesn't find this show mind numbingly piss your pants funny? And I'm pretty sure there's a running joke as to how many gay jokes about Daniel Tosh can be fit in an episode, along with the one mandatory naked scene by him in every episode.
6. Chelsea Lately/ After Lately. Honestly, I like After Lately more now. But, both are funny and while I would die to work with Chelsea Handler, I would die if I had to work with her. I don't think my nerves could handle it, as I'm already kinda paranoid to begin with. I would have to just drink like she does and take massive amounts of anti anxiety meds and sedatives.
7. Jersey Shore. Yes. Really. Love it.
8. Locked Up Abroad. Amazing show. It's about people who get jailed or held hostage in a foreign country. It's such a shame how all the ones who got caught with drugs were innocent helpless creatures who didn't have a choice or felt forced into it or thought it was going to be pot but it turns out it was cocaine or heroin instead. Anyway, if you haven't seen this show, watch it.
9. Vanished with Beth Holloway. Thank goodness that the mother of the teenager, Natalie Holloway, who was murdered by Joran Van der Sloot in Aruba, got herself a job. But actually, this is a great show about unsolved mysteries of people who disappeared. I guess Beth Holloway is just following in the footsteps of John Walsh with his America's Most Wanted show.
10. Fatal Attractions on Animal Planet. OMG! Such a gory good tragic show! It's about people who own exotic pets who end up maiming or killing them. People getting eaten by their own snakes and wolves and stuff. There was the one lady just in the news, Charla Nash, who was the subject of one episode. Her friend's chimp ripped her face off. Such a great show. Which still doesn't dissuade me from the idea that if I were to come upon a lion or tiger in the wild that they wouldn't kill me, they would just want to snuggle up with me and take a nap because we would have a mutual understanding.
There you have it. Guilty Pleasures.
One parting thought. Is there any adult bouncy castle bars? Hm... you wouldn't be allowed to have a drink in the bouncy castle I guess, and if you were drunk you might throw up in it. So, maybe it's not the best idea. But every once in a while, it would be nice to have a late night bounce. Boy, I miss my BFF's trampoline.....
Speaking of Justin Bieber, it makes me think of guilty pleasure TV shows and movies. So, let's make a list of guilty pleasure stuff that I like in no particular order. I am not going to include obvious shows like Family Guy, because, most everyone watched those at one point or another. Guilty Pleasure suggests that it's embarrassing, even though I'm not really embarrassed of what I watch.
1. Degrassi. If you've never heard of it, you're missing out. It's like the preteen/teen show that was edgy, before My So Called Life, Freaks and Geeks, 90210, The Secret Life of The American Teenager, etc. I watched Degrassi Junior High when Spike was pregnant, and then wheeling a baby carriage with baby Emma around school. Then several years later, I learned that there was a Degrassi The Next Generation, with Emma and her pals as the stars. There were issues like stds, homosexuality, and bullying and school shootings. This later morphed into just Degrassi. I admit, the cast and plots are a little lacking the last few years, but I still watch. Right now there is a new episode Monday thru Thursday. The hot new topic is a female teacher/ male student relationship.
2. Twilight movies. I don't have much to say about these, just that I watched the first two when the FP was out of town. I do not believe he could tolerate more than 2 minutes of one of these movies, so I wouldn't even attempt to subject him to them.
3. Frankly, I can probably watch any teen high school or college comedy/drama. For a while Freaks and Geeks and Undeclared was on TV around midnight, so I've now seen most of those episodes in the past year.
4. Breaking Bad. I only started watching it this summer when all the previous seasons were on, 3 episodes a night, every night leading to the season premier. I recorded and watched every one, except I missed episode two or three from the first season. This show is so addicting, ha ha. But hasn't everyone always wondered what it would be like if a really amazing chemist decided to make illicit drugs? Well, I'm sure this is the case. I like to believe that the people who make those beautiful sheets of acid that produce this mind expanding life altering inspiring trip are these amazing brilliant minds that just do this for the benefit of mankind on the side when they are not curing cancer. Does acid even exist anymore, anyway? Not that I've done it, I'm just asking. I know that a lot of this stuff went around in the 60s, I think, and I heard it was groovy.
5. Tosh.O C'mon. Who doesn't find this show mind numbingly piss your pants funny? And I'm pretty sure there's a running joke as to how many gay jokes about Daniel Tosh can be fit in an episode, along with the one mandatory naked scene by him in every episode.
6. Chelsea Lately/ After Lately. Honestly, I like After Lately more now. But, both are funny and while I would die to work with Chelsea Handler, I would die if I had to work with her. I don't think my nerves could handle it, as I'm already kinda paranoid to begin with. I would have to just drink like she does and take massive amounts of anti anxiety meds and sedatives.
7. Jersey Shore. Yes. Really. Love it.
8. Locked Up Abroad. Amazing show. It's about people who get jailed or held hostage in a foreign country. It's such a shame how all the ones who got caught with drugs were innocent helpless creatures who didn't have a choice or felt forced into it or thought it was going to be pot but it turns out it was cocaine or heroin instead. Anyway, if you haven't seen this show, watch it.
9. Vanished with Beth Holloway. Thank goodness that the mother of the teenager, Natalie Holloway, who was murdered by Joran Van der Sloot in Aruba, got herself a job. But actually, this is a great show about unsolved mysteries of people who disappeared. I guess Beth Holloway is just following in the footsteps of John Walsh with his America's Most Wanted show.
10. Fatal Attractions on Animal Planet. OMG! Such a gory good tragic show! It's about people who own exotic pets who end up maiming or killing them. People getting eaten by their own snakes and wolves and stuff. There was the one lady just in the news, Charla Nash, who was the subject of one episode. Her friend's chimp ripped her face off. Such a great show. Which still doesn't dissuade me from the idea that if I were to come upon a lion or tiger in the wild that they wouldn't kill me, they would just want to snuggle up with me and take a nap because we would have a mutual understanding.
There you have it. Guilty Pleasures.
One parting thought. Is there any adult bouncy castle bars? Hm... you wouldn't be allowed to have a drink in the bouncy castle I guess, and if you were drunk you might throw up in it. So, maybe it's not the best idea. But every once in a while, it would be nice to have a late night bounce. Boy, I miss my BFF's trampoline.....
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