TV Show "Review" Clash of the Homoerotic Salamanders

So, just so you know, when I was younger, my "thing", my trademark, let's say, was "the happy salamanders",  And I drew silhouette figures of salamanders.  I never had a salamander, I was just fascinated by them.  I even got a generic gecko tattoo that I like to think is really a salamander.

Salamanders were mythologically said to be born of fire.  Yet they live in water.  Pretty cool, huh?

Anyway, I recorded this Nat Geo show: Dangerous Encounters: Clash of the Giant Salamanders.  So, it was originally aired in 2009.  I don't know how I missed this show all these years!!!

Anyhoo...All, I can say, is, that I am almost 40 years old, but I'm still a little girl that giggles at phallic objects.  Now, I'm beginning to wonder why I was so fascinated with salamanders at a young age...

But, c'mon.  Here is the greater siren http://youtu.be/t_aSrc9GVXU  I can't find a video clip, but this one spins and gets really mucusy.  So, the segement with Brady Barr holding the greater siren was very homoerotic.  He had the thing - which was like over a foot long - in his hands spinning and flopping like crazy, all the while getting more and more slick.  And Brady Barr was marvelling at how powerful and slippery the large amphibian was...

And then..... HE LICKED IT!!!! Yes, he did!

So, the premise is that you can tell how poisonous an amphibian is by licking the mucus and tasting to see how bitter it is.  So, there were clips of this female frog research scientist licking these cute teeny little frogs.  Then they cut back to Brady Barr licking the mucusy head of a spinning phallic shaped amphibian.  I mean, if I were into that kind of thing, I probably would have gotten a big boner right then and there.  But I'm not.  And I'm not sure whether there is something wrong with those who are into it or not.

Next up was the two toed amphiuma .  Tell me a man licking something like that doesn't make you giggle, or at least smirk?

Then there was also the hellbender.  Here's a photo of one:  http://www.hellbenders.org/The_Hellbender_Homepage/About_Hellbenders.html 
Ok, tell me it's not penislike.  Go ahead, do it.  Ok, some of you will say what kind of penises have you seen?  Well... just look at the wrinkles on the side.  Gross.

I'm sorry.  Penises are interesting in a gross kind of way, aesthetically speaking.  So are salamanders.
The bigger and bumpier, the more interesting.  So of course, the giant Japanese salamander is the most intriguing of them all.  Here is another Nat Geo documentary on them: http://youtu.be/VN60DCHHQ50

Those are big ass motherfuckers!!!!!!!!!!!!

And they are so big and ugly, that they are cute.  They remind me of a bulldog with their big big ass mouths.. Actually, these are the least phallic of all four, but nonetheless, they are quite intriguing.  Quite.  In the documentary, Brady Barr is at an aquarium looking at a captive almost five foot salamander.  He is laying next to it in awe.  Then the thing turns it's head towards him and hisses at him.  And then it starts heading for him, and Brady Barr gets scared and backs up.  We are interested in big phallic objects, but when they come after us, it's terrifying!

Oh man, this blog entry has really plunged to the depths of the river farther down than where the dicklike salamanders live.  I really don't know how to end it gracefully, so, I'll just leave you with this parting thought.

How's this for a sex lubricant name:  Salamander Slime - keeps you slipping and spinning.....

Reverting to Childhood; Fun With Paints

So, I was working on my newest piece de resistance yesterday and today.  So, last night, I was opening the bottle of red paint, when it splurted onto my thumb.  At first I was annoyed because it was kind of a lot of paint, and I do not like to waste shit.  Like I hate when I squirt out too much paint and I can't use it all, or it completely dries before I can use it all.

Anyhoo, this is the paint splurt.  Okay, I did modify it, as in add legs, but the main part of it was really by accident.

Go ahead.  Tell me that is not cool. It's so....trippy!  Like wow man.  It's like art made by the cosmos.  

It's a fucking salamander, for fuck sakes.  I guess it would have kind of looked like a red snake if I hadn't have added the leg blobs, but it totally have this thing for salamanders and geckos.  I have a purple salamander/gecko (it's very generic so it could be either) on my ankle that I got when I was in college.  So, I did some of the stereotypical things that one is supposed to do in college.

Anyway, here is the painting I did.  It sucks because I need a fancy camera to really show you the detail because it's so long.  Oh well.  If you really want to see the detail up close and in person you can just buy it!

The Last Kitties Flippin The Bird Supper

I should have put a couple balls of yarn on the table or the floor, but I don't have nice enough brushes for it to look more like a ball with a tail anyway...