Strange Days still

Oh life.  It's interesting even when it's boring.  Because when it's boring, if you look at it from a third person perspective, it becomes interesting.  Have you ever met someone and thought, "what the hell does that guy do all day?"  And you just want to be a fly on the wall.  No, you just want to video tape a few days in his (or her) life and then watch it with the luxury of being able to fast forward through it.  I believe I have had countless days in my life where you would want to fast forward through watching.  No, not just fast forward, but stop and fast forward.  Hasn't everyone had days like that?

Sometimes you meet someone, and it seems like they could never have a fast forward day, right?  It's like, they are so exciting, and their life is so full of stuff going on.  And you find out, these are sometimes the people who are miserable, and they try to fill their lives with interesting shit.  Sometimes I feel like that.  I think that's what depression feels like.  Even if you are having a great time with people you love, you still feel disconnected and empty.  If you've never had that feeling, I wouldn't recommend it.  Depression isn't nearly as romantic as it looks or sounds.

Anyway, this blog is not supposed to be about depression.  The other serious blog is more about that kind of stuff.

This blog is about... getting our pretty pretty dining room chairs delivered today!

If you follow me on pinterest, then you have already seen this.  So, these chairs are actually labeled as drafting chairs, as they have the adjustable lift to work with different height tables.  We got a blue one, a black one, a pink one (my least favorite, but it adds a color accent) and a purple one.  I'm sitting in the purple one right now.  The only problem is, the shelf under the table is a little too low, so I can't fit my knees under.  This should be an easy fix, but the screws are in pretty tight, and I don't feel like unscrewing them and then not screwing them back in tight enough.

So, that's the highlight of the day.  The other highlight is that I got a job today.  So, I went with the restaurant that is opening in Fort Lauderdale.  They offered me what I made at my last job to start, so I'm not regressing in pay.  The only thing that kind of sucks, is that we are going to Pittsburgh this weekend and we won't get back until late Sunday.  And I start work on Monday morning.  Oh well, I think I've had quite a long enough break, and even though I would love to have a couple more days to just hang around the house and explore South Florida, it's time.  It's way past time.  And my unemployment has just about run out!  So, while I worked hard over the years to "earn" my unemployment, I thank all of you workers of California who helped me receive this unemployment, no matter that it was kind of not enough.  But, I'm not complaining.  Other people would like to make that amount while working 40 hours a week.

I would like to think, though, that I didn't squander too much of my time off.  I've done a lot.  I've seen a lot, I've made discoveries about myself, I've made changes, I've grown as a person.  I like to think I have.

And I did paint the Last Kitties Flippin The Bird Supper.... (I think that's the title)

I want to thank you all for your support through this tumultuous time, and I'm sure there will be more to come for your reading pleasure.  I would like to make the pledge here and now to not flake on this blog the way I have flaked on the food blog from the inception of the food blog.  My thing is, I never know when I'm going to die, so I'm going to cram as much fun and rewarding activity into my life as I can stand.  Boy, I imagine though, that it's going to be super difficult getting used to the physicality of working in a kitchen again.  Hopefully, this girl has still got it in her!

A Whole Foods

So, if you didn't know, news flash, I'm looking for a job.  There's a new Whole Foods opening in Pembroke Pines in six weeks.  So I applied to four different jobs, I think.  The job listings seem to be disappearing, which makes me think that they have already reviewed applications and have interviewed and are hiring team members already.  Or I can try to think positive and tell myself that they are just reviewing applications and are getting ready to interview people, right?

I don't know.  I guess we'll see.  If I don't get a call or email in the next week or so, then I know I'm not getting one at all.  I googled something about getting hired at Whole Foods.  There was a very long thread about it with some people saying they keep applying but never get the call back.

Why do I want to work there?  Well, the hours are either start in the morning and get out in the early afternoon, or start in the afternoon and get out at a reasonable hour.  Also, there's the surplus bonuses. Every month after inventory is done, each department analyzes the food cost, and if it comes out at a certain level, the whole department gets a bonus.  It's a nice little bump in the paycheck.  Of course, the place has benefits too.  One of them is a nice team member discount.

I worked at the Whole Foods in New Orleans for a while, so I thought that might give me a little boost. But maybe not.  Maybe I'm too old, I'm thinking.  Maybe they are looking for young, vivacious, nubile team members.  One look at my resume, and you know I ain't no spring chicken.  This is one of those instances where maybe attaching a photo might be helpful.  That way they would know I don't look quite as old as my resume might have one assume.

So, I'll just keep checking craigslist and indeed several times a day.  All the while hoping that I'll get that call ...
 

The Dread

The dread of getting a job - the whole process of applying, interviewing, staging (going in for free for one day to work with them), starting a job and familiarizing oneself with procedure and coworkers, it all is not a fun process for me.  I just like to interview for a job and get to work and hopefully it works out.  But who are we kidding.  I complain about all my jobs.  Doesn't everyone?  No?  Apparently some people like their jobs and get paid a fair amount.  Well, La - De - Da.

Really, I just want to run my own teeny restaurant.  Oh, have I said this before?  Sorry.  But that's all I want to do.  I just want to cook lots of yummy food and serve it to people.  No bullshit.  Okay, well, no bullshit from bosses.  Is that too much to ask?  Yes?  I know.  And yes, I realize that "so many restaurants open and close within the first year, it's the highest risk industry."  With a quick Google search, I came up with an article from 2007, http://www.businessweek.com/smallbiz/content/apr2007/sb20070416_296932.htm by Kerry Miller, who did his own research and determined that there is (or was back then) a 60% failure rate.  So, that's a 40% chance of succeeding.  I'm either a very careful person, or I like to play the odds.  With a restaurant, I would be willing to play the odds.  Because, besides my lack of self confidence and non existent self esteem, I know that I have the ability to cook and run a kitchen.

What I am not good at, is working with a boss who's motives, ethics or mode of operation do not jive with mine.  And I had a lot of that in San Diego.  A whole lot.  Like, all of my jobs.  I guess that's a big part of why I wanted to talk the FP into moving.  Selfish, yes.  But there were other reasons that I believed would benefit the FP.  And I still think the reasons still stand.

But anyway, I love the sense of adventure of moving to a new place and seeing how we thrive.  The FP never has any problem with thriving, even if he starts off with a rocky first year or two.   So, when he's in a bad mood (which happens almost every day), I have to remind myself to shed some of the catholic guilt and not blame myself for his bad mood.

Did I persuade him to move when he really didn't want to?  Yes.  But did I hold a gun to his head?  Not literally....  

While he holds on to everything good about the past and forgets the bad, and I only remember the more poignant moments from the past, he always makes out better than me.  He's more talented, he's more charismatic and charming, he's more pleasant to be around, and he's got the more overt mainstream crowd pleasing sense of humor.

So, maybe I should stop worrying about his well being (which is fine and dandy for the most part, given the move to a foreign land) and focus on getting my well being in order to get a job.  I've been carrying around this ghost of depression for the past almost year and a half, and I need to shake it.  And at the same time, I need to gain some self esteem, and remind myself, that just because I look like a small helpless lady doesn't mean that I am one.

Here's my job search summary so far, sorry if I've already talked about these previously:

1.  Got a call from a cheese shop in Fort Lauderdale the weekend before the closing of the house.  I planned to call the day after, and I forgot.  I planned to call the day after that, and I forgot again.  And then we were waist deep in house shit, and I didn't even think about it, until it was way too late.  It was for a part time job to work the cheese counter, so it probably wasn't the best of pay, anyway.  Well, that's what I tell myself.

2.  I got a call from a Midtown Miami wine bar that was soon to open.  The cooks were really not going to be cooks at all in the literal definition of "one who cooks food."  The kitchen was to be a bare minimum stripped down kitchen with cold tapas like cheese plates and charcuterie and things of that nature.  So, I don't know what the pay was going to be, but the job description wasn't the most exciting.  However, the company that was opening the bar is a multi outlet national company, so it never hurts to hook up with a company like that.  Well, I was supposed to go to a kind of open interview of people who were personally called by the Chef/Owner.  This was the first week that I had been sick.  I woke up, and my voice was very hoarse.  I was waiting to see if my voice would get better as the day went on, but not really.  A couple hours before the last possible time I could go down there, I informed the guy that I wouldn't make it because I was sick.  So, he hired cooks who started the next week.  Maybe I was being a pussy and should have gone.  But it didn't feel right.  I couldn't think straight, and I doubted my confidence in pulling off a great interview.  Consequently, while I probably could have sucked it up and gone in to start a job the next week, it would have been ugly.  And I don't think the other employees would have wanted me sniffling and coughing on them all day.

3. I applied to an ad about a cook position entailing prepping in the morning in an offsite kitchen, and then going to a cafe where the cook would prepare and sell and serve the food to customers.  Sounds handleable.  So, I got a call back to meet about the job at a Panera in Fort Lauderdale.  The woman who was doing the hiring was just kind of helping getting the cafe running.  So, she was the personal chef of the owner of the Ferrari dealer across the street.  So, he wanted to open a cafe in the dealership to offer healthy lunches to employees and to the customers, along with fancy espresso drinks.  I could totally do that job, but the woman interviewing me doubted my interest, I think, because the pay was a little lower than what I was hoping for.  So, she hired someone else.

4.  I got a call back for a grocery store similar to Whole Foods called The Fresh Market.  I had to go to a Hyatt in Fort Lauderdale where they were just interviewing one applicant after another.  So, I met the store manager and the human resources director.  We sat down, and they asked me the same questions they asked over the phone.  Then they asked me how much hourly I was looking for.  I told them, and I  also said, "that's probably somewhat higher than what you're offering, I'm sure."  I was told it was way more than what they were offering, and it was definitely only part time.  So, they asked if I was still interested, and I decided not, and we called it quits.

5.  I went to a "gourmet sandwich shop" in Miami to turn in my resume.  Of course, they made me fill out an application too, and I didn't have all the information, of course.  So, it took a while to fill it out, and I had to go to the car to look up phone numbers and addresses from my phone.  The chef seemed grumpy and didn't want to deal with me at the moment, so I got a not good impression of the place.  But, he called me for an interview today, so I guess I have to call back tomorrow.

6.  I went into a large fancy upscale restaurant down the street from the sandwich shop to turn in a resume.  It was Saturday morning a little before 11.  I didn't realize the place did such a busy brunch, so maybe that wasn't the best time to go.  Anyway, the manager/owner told me to wait while he got the guy I was supposed to talk to.  The catering chef was really busy, so I was led to the kitchen to briefly meet him.  He was busy, as his job is to make all the commissary food for that restaurant and the other two sister outlets which are even busier than that one.  And he's the only catering chef.  So, he was busy, and no one had informed him that they were going to be putting an ad in craigslist for help for him and that he was to take walk in interviews.  So, he took my resume and told me he would call me Monday.  He didn't call, and I don't think he will, because this is hardcore catering, and I don't have the experience for that!

So that's that.  The woman who interviewed me for the Ferrari job told me that she had been out for work for most of the year, and that she would put out 20 - 30 resumes every month and only get a call back once every several months.  I don't know what her resume is, or if she was exaggerating, or if it was the down season.  But, hey, comparing with her responses, mine are way better, right?