Strange Days

So, we went to the beach this morning, like usual, to exercise.  The FP runs, and I just walk.  I find that so far, knock on wood, I won't get sick if I just walk.  If I jog, there's a chance that the first time I overdo it, I will get sick within two days.  So, I walk.  Which is ok.  It was pretty damn hot, so, it's enough exertion.

So, I got back to the car, and it was overcast, so I just walked onto the beach and looked at it for a couple minutes and went back to the car.  When I got back, these girls were asking people if they had jumper cables, which they did not.  So, then they asked me.  I knew I had the car jumper box, but I wasn't sure if it was charged.  So, I looked, and it was charged.  So, the driver and I tried to figure out the box.  I had not used it before then, so I didn't really know if there was a power button or not.  So we tried it the first time, and nothing happened.  Then the passenger reclamped the ends, and it started, easy as pie.  They thanked me, told me I had good karma (carma) and they were off.  I got to feel good about helping someone, and I didn't even have to break a new sweat doing it.

We got back to the house, and BFF informed us that she used our washer.  Why?  Because one of the cats had pissed in her clothes!  Oh no!  It's not really like them.  Sure, they have pissed on our stuff before, but I don't think they have ever pissed in any guest's stuff.  That wasn't very hospitable.  BFF does have a cat, so I don't know if they smelled him and were marking her stuff, or if he or she was being a jerk.  I can't help but feel like it was she, The Fuzz.  But I have no evidence.


After lunch, I took the FP to the dentist to get his temporary crown, and get fitted for a permanent one.  As usual, it took a while for them to send him back.  I had no idea how long it would be, so I waited in the waiting room.  I can have patience when needed.  But sitting in that waiting room drives me nutty.  There are only two local publications there  - I read one, and the other is in russian.  I did flip through the russian one today for lack of anything else to read.

After a little while, the assistant called me to the window.  She told me that the FP had instructed me to pay half of the bill today, and we would pay the rest on Monday.  Whhhhuuuuuaaaaaah?  Monday?  What's the point?  Well, I didn't worry about Monday.  We're kind of short of cash, so I just paid the first half.  I had told the FP to see how little we could pay today, so I guess half was it.

Anyway, after I paid, the FP texted me that it would be at least an hour, so I went home.  I was just sitting around with my BFF, talking, and surfing the internets, when we noticed a little hard turd on the bubble wrap that The Fuzz likes to lie on...hm....  Coincidence?

A while later, I got the text, so I went to pick up the FP.  When we came back, guess who had thrown up on the floor?  The Fuzz!  What is up with The Fuzz?

So, anyway, my BFF went to Miami to go on a night dive.  We went west to go to the outlet mall.  So, we said our goodbyes.  It had been a great visit!

We were shopping for clothes, because this weekend we are going to Pittsburgh to celebrate the FP's mom's birthday.  We had to make a huge circle around the mall before I found the right shoes at Nine West.  I have a huge issue with the shoe styles today.  There are the flats.  Like totally flat, the ones that look like ballet slippers.  They look dumb on my feet, and they hurt my feet.  Then there are the stilettos.  Or the pumps.  Wedges too.  They are all like 6 inches high.  I cannot wear those.  They hurt.  I look like an idiot in stilts trying to wear them.  And my feet and calves are too fat to pull those type of shoes off anyway.  So, the only shoes with heel height in between are.... "comfort shoes".  Old lady shoes.  I'm not at the point yet where I will give in to those.  So, we walked all over the mall and went into several shoe stores, before finding the right pair.

When we got home, we found out that the BFF's dive got cancelled, again!  Her dive got cancelled yesterday too!  Big bummer for her.  But, I guess she was going to stay down in Miami anyway.

And then, I got two voicemails.  One from the job I had had two callbacks for, and one from the damn company I had been waiting for a call from... Whole Foods.  WTF?  I've been waiting for jobs, and now two promising ones call almost simultaneously?

So, I called Whole Foods.  And the guy seemed genuinely interested to talk to me.  He definitely wanted to interview me.  But, not until Monday.  So... right after I come back from Pittsburgh.  If I don't take the other job.

I talked to the chef from the restaurant who was ready to offer me the job.  He wouldn't tell me what number he was offering, but they are starting training this weekend - when I will be out of town.  So, we agreed that I would go in and talk to him some more tomorrow.  I'm not sure how I feel.  I don't know what it would take for me to just accept the job tomorrow without seeing what Whole Foods has to offer.  I'm so bad at making decisions.  I always feel like I panic and make the wrong one.  So I don't want to do that again.  But if I'm indecisive, this restaurant may not want me anymore either... and then I could interview with Whole Foods and not get the job, or not get a very good starting wage.

Decisions, decisions.....I've been out of work so long, that I don't want to make a misstep going back into the workforce!

Stay tuned!

I'm not thaaaaaaaat dumb

I'm not.  I know some of you, you know who you are.  Or maybe you don't.  You feel superior.  Or you have the need to feel superior.  Certainly, you must be more intelligent than me.  I'm just a naive little girl.  Of course, those who I'm writing about probably don't read this here poor lil old blog!  So why do I feel the need to defend myself?  Because sometimes I just want to be heard!

I'll have you know, that in elementary school, I was tested to be in the gifted program.  I did not get in though.  But, I think it was due to my emotional immaturity, not because of low IQ.  That's what I like to think, anyway.  I did get in during junior high, though.  Sure, I might have been the least brilliant in the bunch... but I had made it into the gifted program, regardless of my rank.

I also got accepted to Boston University in the early acceptance program.  That means I submitted my application sometime in the fall of my senior year and I got accepted before the spring semester started.  I think I wrote an essay about A Clockwork Orange for my application.  And I got in.  Being myself.  Of course, I didn't get to go.  But that's a sign of intelligence, right?  

Sure, I often do things or say things, or speak in a way that may make me seem cognitively challenged. My grammar might not be spot on, and my use of slang might be a little too low brow.  But, everyone uses slang, and if someone uses no slang at all, it sounds strange and condescending.

Maybe it's difficult to think that the FP and I could move clear across the country and close the deal on a house exactly a month after landing here.  There must be a lot of problems with the house.  It was probably a bad deal.  We probably paid too much.  Or our mortgage rate is probably through the roof.  There's probably lead paint and radon and the house is in a flood zone on top of a sinkhole.  I do know how to read.  I know how to use the internets.  And I do know how to read between the lines.  And I know what I like.  So, here we are in our lovely abode, which is a work in progress.  

I really wish our dining room chairs would arrive.  They are going to be so cool looking, blue, purple, pink and black against our green wall, set up around our dining room table.

Okay, so maybe I have the same color preference as a 4 month old, but just because my color preference has never matured doesn't mean the rest of me hasn't.

Or maybe you don't think I am that dumb, but you like to prove to me that you are also intelligent and you know things that I don't.  I am so fucking intelligent though, that I realize that everyone on this earth knows at least one thing I don't, but most likely way more than that.

Hm... realize that, this is not directed at everyone.  There's just some people who feel the need to make me question myself more than I already do.  That doesn't sound very nice.  I have very low self esteem.  I also have a poor self image.  Why you gotta put me down more?

Anyway, all that matters is what I think.  I think I'm dumb.  I don't need you to make me feel dumber and insecurer than I already feel.  Thanks.

Another Day, Another Boat

Today was another completely different experience.  I had a cooking interview, Top Chef style.  Not sure how I did, but, oh well.  Someone somewhere has to give me a job at some point, right?

Anyhoo, after we did our chores, we went down to Miami to meet the BFF and her Cuban Sandwich at Monty's, where they had docked the boat for an hour.  Let me tell you, all the other boats were bigger than a house and three times more costly than a house as well.

So, we had several drinks at Monty's, and then we got on the boat.  We motored around the bay, while the Cuban Sandwich blared music, and we drank beers.  We stopped at Flager Memorial Island, and BFF jumped out of the boat before we even stopped.  I have to admit, the water was pretty warm... but not quite warm enough for me to jump in, so I just waded around.

After that,  we sped around some more.  We tried to illegally dock on some closed dock.  TFP and I were already off and walking, when a guy with a button up shirt and tie stopped us.  He said, I'm going to ask them to leave, so you may want to get back on the boat.  Did I tell you that BFF and the Cuban Sandwich were already shitfaced when we met up with them?  So, the Cuban Sandwich just told the guy that we were trying to sneak up without him seeing us, because we were trying to get a drink at the VFW.  Anyway, he ended up being fairly nice, and we left.

Then, we went to the famed Jimbo's.  It's like this small cove off Virginia Key, with lots of interesting people hanging out.  When we got to the dock, a bunch of the... "locals", I guess, were standing on the dock conversating, but really standing there to get a look at us.  And we were warned about the mosquitos.  Which there were a ton of.   It's like a place out of a movie.  Literally.  According to the website, these shanty town shacks were built there for a movie set.  Then later it was also used for Miami Vice, which I have never seen.  The place is a shanty town, even though the shanties were just set props.    But, sometime recently the movie set shacks were demolished.  However, the dock and the beer shack is still there.  Apparently the smoked fish is delicious, but we didn't have any.  They don't take cards either, so be prepared if you go there.  And there are a ton of cats and a few dogs running around.  It's like one of the coolest places in the United States that I have ever been to.  Really.

It had already gotten dark, so we slowly headed back to Monty's, with Portishead blaring.  We went to dock so they could drop us off.  This guy came hurrying over to help us, and to tell us that it costs money just to drop someone off there.  $32.  No one had that much cash.  So we asked if he had an atm.  He said he took cards.  But then, he told us to not worry about it.... thank godness!  I really didn't want to pay $32, just to get back on the dock to get to our car.  I guess the parking is free for visitors, but if you get dropped off on the dock, that's where they get to your wallet.

Anyway, we got back to the house and ate the rest of our leftover arroz con pollo and watched TV.  Another great day here in sunny South Florida (except for the cooking interview - unless I get the job and like it)!

I had a Nola of a time today.

That is how I can best describe it.  In New Orleans, there would be days when a group of people would start out the day, be it during Mardi Gras or some other holiday, a birthday or a day off together, and we would finish off the day together.  And the whole day was great.  Epic, as the FP would say.

And now, here I am in bed, blogging.  This is the first time in a long ass time that I woke up and did not get on the internet all day until 11 pm.

So, we woke up fairly early after a long night of partying.  It was windy and overcast.  My BFF listened to the weather radio, and the weather didn't sound as bad as it looked, so we thought we would still try to go south and get on the boat that BFF had rented.   We got ready and packed the car and headed south.  We were on a mission to hit McDonald's before 10:30, to make it for breakfast.  And wouldn't you know it, we walked into a McDonald's right at 10:30.  And we each had our breakfast meals.  It was disappointing.  As it usually is.  The idea of McDonald's breakfast every once in a great huge while sounds promising.  But it rarely ever delivers.  This is not a food blog, however.

So, then, we got to the marina.  The rest of the "crew" was ready and waiting.  The crew consisted of seven of us; BFF, me, TFP, Noel and Fiona, Alana and Blaine - who was the birthday boy.  It was dark and foreboding looking.  The guy who rented out the boats (the skipper?) asked who besides BFF knew how to sail.  No one answered.  The BFF said her one friend did.  And then she said how we had all been on a boat with her before.  And then that was enough for the skipper to feel more at ease, sending us out to sea on a windy day with a chance of rain.

So, we packed up the boat with a ton of booze and we headed off.  And the motor died.  Did I mention that 5 out of 7 of us don't know how to sail.  Well... let's say 4.  Anyway, after much hassle, and trying to fill the motor with gasoline even though it had some in it, the motor started again.  I hate these kinds of situations, because, this is one instance in which I become completely stupid and unhelpful, and I just feel like dead weight.  But I admit it.  If we were lost at sea, I might be the first one to be murdered and consumed.

So we were just motoring down the intracoastal.  It was pretty windy.  With all the novices on board, we decided not to try to sail.  Besides, last time BFF took me and TFP, and the other couple, Noel and Fiona, out on her boat in Lake Meade, it was too windy to attempt sailing.  So, we just cruised around and then we docked at a restaurant and had lunch.  It was nice.  It threatened to rain for 10 minutes, and then the sun came out.  And we were sitting on the dock with the rented boat moored at the dock.

But then we had to get back in the boat and push off.  But it was easy enough.  And we were off.  The wind was somewhat calmer.  So, at some point, BFF decided to try to sail.  So, TFP and I ended up on the bow.  We couldn't all be in the back, and let's face it, I probably would be of no help, and someone else needed to be in the front, so there we were, not helping.  Until TFP had to help with the sail.  And they got the sail up.  And we were riding the waves.

It was scary when a huge yacht would pass by and create a large wake.  We would go so far up and so far down.  It was scary, then it was exhilarating and then I wanted to experience it again.  I thought for sure I would come close to falling off, or at least lose my shoe.  But, besides the motor dying again and another gas refill of the engine, we all arrived back at shore safe and sound.  Besides needing to piss for the last hour and not wanting to negotiate going below deck and trying to pee in a party cup, it was great being on the boat.

And then we sat at the picnic table on the dock and drank.  And drank.  And drank.  For several hours.  The sun went down.  And we were still hanging out.  And then we decided to go eat dinner, as it was Blaine's birthday.  By that point, Noel, Blaine and TFP were shitbagged.

We went to eat at an Italian restaurant not far away.  They asked where we wanted to sit.  When we told them that we were 7 and we were loud, they asked, "How would you like to sit outside?"  And we answered that we would love to sit outside.

And we were loud.  And inappropriate.  And loud.  And racist.  And dirty.  And loud.  The word "fuckin" was used a lot.  And Hitler was mentioned at one point.  There was some conversation about a woman with a clydesdale, and the donkey show.  There was also Noel trying to get someone, really anyone, to crash on their couch.  Which turned the discussion somehow into another discussion about beastiality and Noel and Fiona's pet dog.  I don't think I've laughed that hard that many times in one night in a long while.  It was a good time.  It was a great time.  It was a memorable time.  It was an epic time.  It was a great time hanging out with my BFF and her great friends.  It was one of those days that besides having to pee on the boat, I felt free to let my hair down.  I don't do that so much lately.  Too much stress, and worry and anxiety that I can't let go easily for long amounts of time.  But today was an exception to the rule.

when am I ever going to have time to write a proper blog?

Not tonight.  It's late.  My BFF came into town around 3 pm and we started drinking.   We had some of her friends over, and the first guests arrived sometime after 7.  So, needless to say, it was a long day, and a long night.  Drinks were had.  Food was eaten.  People jumped in the pool.  My BFF spent a couple hours in the pool.   The FP went in the pool.  Funnily enough, I have never been in the pool all the way... and tonight wasn't the night for the first time.  It was kind of cold out, so there was no way I was going in...

Anyway, good night.  Great night.  But now we got to get up early to go on a boat.  You know I get seasick, right?  Should be a fun day!

Holy Moly

Another long day.  And need I remind you, I'm unemployed.  Woke up early.  Did shit.  And more shit.  And more shit.  And some more shit.  And I'm not even finished.  Tomorrow will be a long day as well.  Followed by the arrival of my BFF, and a part consisting of mostly people I've never met, and one person I haven't seen since high school.  It should be fun and interesting, but there's a lot to do before we get to the drinking and socializing.

Anyway, I'm going to take this time to bitch once again, about other people.

Driving.  I totally see why people honk so much around here.  The lights suck.  The timing is off, and there are not sensors.  So sometimes, there's a long ass green light, and not one car is going that way.  Other times, there is a long long long pause between the change from the turn lane green signal to the straight lane signal.  And then, why do people have to drive so slow.  Sooooo slow.  Sometimes, they are looking for a street, and then all of a sudden, they will turn with no turn signal of course.  It's maddening.  I'm going to conduct an involuntary driving school.  No cell phones.  No eating.  No reading.  No ipad.  No talking at all for some people.  Always use the turn signal if turning or changing lanes.  Never use the turn signal if just driving straight in the same lane.  Be prepared for the light to turn green, and go as soon as it turns.  Make sure you stop right behind the car in front of you.  If you leave a gap, then you might be fucking someone behind you over.  They might want to get into the turn lane, but thanks to you, they don't have enough room to get up there, and they will have to wait through another light to go.  On the reverse side, don't follow people too closely.  If there's not much traffic, then  you should drive 5 miles above the speed limit, unless there's cops around or you're in a school zone.  Never NEVER EVER speed in a school zone.  Trust me on this one.

Thanks, and that's all.  End of sermon.  I need to take my vitamins, brush my teeth, floss my teeth, and then rinse with mouthwash, and then hit the hay....

Goodnight!

Loooooooooooooooooongest Day

So, we had a lot of stuff to do today.  And we accomplished a good amount.  My BFF is coming to visit on Saturday, and some of her friends are coming over Saturday evening, so it's a double amount of preparation.  Not only do we have to clean the house, we have to make food for Saturday.  Which is all good stuff, but, even without working, I feel like there still is never enough time.

Anyway, it's kind of late.  I'm kind of tired.  And I have a job interview tomorrow.  I really have to get a job at this point.  So I'm hoping they don't offer me part time work at really low pay.  Because I may have  to take it.

But, let's just bask in the glory of my little project that I knocked out tonight.

Our second bathroom needed a lot of work.  It is all white tile with a glass walk in shower, and a cheap ugly vanity with leaky plumbing.  We fixed the leak after many pains in the ass.  We got an over the toilet space saver.  And we got these fish bathtub decals that we put on the shower glass.

And tonight, I made this:

What the fuck is that, you may ask?  It is a towel and toilet paper holder, duh.  So, the whole wall is tile, so I can't just hang a towel bar so easily.  So, being newly obsessed with Pinterest, I found a picture of a basket that someone hung on the wall to use to hold towels.  That's when I realized, I could screw something into the ceiling and have it hang down the wall.  So, I got wood.  I got it at Home Depot, and I had them cut it.  Then I got some hooks, picture hanging wire, and some cheap curtain rods.  So, I just screwed the pieces of wood together, screw in the curtain rod brackets, tightened the part that holds the rods, and put them on.  Then I hung the hooks and hung the frame from the hooks with the wire.  I realized though, that the rods were very flimsy and that one towel was too heavy for it.  So I took some more wire and hung it from the top of the frame and attached it to the middle rod that is the towel bar.  Voila!  It's reinforced.  Okay, so it's unfinished, it's raw and amateurish looking, but it's that the fad now?  Do you think I could sell it on Etsy or fab.com?!